^^ Also wondered how your mom knows what clothes you have and what you'll be wearing since you live far away from her.

Um, what? You have a broken damaged relationship with your mother. It's time to separate and live your own life. Get some therapy to help you figure out why you are living this way and letting this happen.

Getting your own phone will be a good first step.

Anonymous wrote:Get your own phone and don't bother to tell her.

This.

Also, are you financially independent? You need to do this and not depend on your parents.

Your mom should not be picking out your clothes at age 30. Not sure why she knows what you're wearing, especially if you live across country. Get therapy to become more emotionally independent. Yes, your mom is controlling, but you're letting her do this too, so there's a cycle.

You're worried about hurting her feelings by getting your own phone? What about your feelings? You can threaten not to visit if she bugs you about your weight and your clothes. Two can play at this game.

This reminds me of a woman I worked with. She was 25 and one day she came in with a very short haircut and she said her mother made her get it cut that way. I passed it off as cultural (she was Asian) but I have to say that typically, adult American women don't put up with crap from our parents.

Are you financially independent?

Know that cutting off your mother, and perhaps other close family as a result, is INFINITELY better than being controlled in such an abusive way.

I "escaped" my controlling mother by moving across the Atlantic to live with my now husband, and make a new life for myself. She badmouthed me to everyone, but guess what? Everyone knew she was insane, and ignored her. It makes me sad that I can't see my father very often, but it's a sacrifice I have to make.

Talk about this with your friends, talk to a therapist. You need to find a mature way to break out.

Anonymous wrote:Get your own phone and don't bother to tell her.

+1

Get your own phone and don't bother to tell her.

I can't comprehend this.

If this is a real thread...get your own phone, then get a therapist and learn about boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:Op, can you afford to get a separate phone? Can work pay for a phone?

It sounds like you are still living at home. Time to move out.

I'm not living at home but I fly home a few times a year and stay with my parents. I live across the country from them. If I get my own phone I think that would just piss her off even more. The phone seems to be the only thing she can really control .

Op, can you afford to get a separate phone? Can work pay for a phone?

It sounds like you are still living at home. Time to move out.

10 days oops

No I'm not kidding. The pants that are too tight she loves. The pants I like she hates. We are going to a funeral in 19 days and will be around family. She is very controlling over my clothing especially when I'm with her. She doesn't want me to embarrass her I think. The outfit I picked she hates.

You're kidding, right?

No.

I'm in my early 30's and my mom is threatening to take away my phone if I don't lose enough weight to fit into a pair of pants within the next 10 days. I might be able to pull it off if I go on a crash diet. However it's not like I can't wear another pair of nice pants.

I am the one who pays for the phone but we do have a family plan in her name. Also I need this phone for work. I can't imagine showing up to work and explaining how my mother took my phone away.

I just feel like crying .