They don't have to disclose their medical issues to you. Look up the death certs if you care so much.

+100

they fear judgement

You know, it might be they just don't want to talk about it. Not that "it" is anything specific.

Basically I had to tell my elderly parents that my doctor REQUIRED the information. Only then did I learn all sorts of stuff. They do not want anyone to learn the family medical history because they fear judgement of others and want to keep things "hush hush." Not intellectual at all, just an older viewpoint.

My parents used to do this. They didn't tell me things so I wouldn't worry. Well, it backfired once. I wasn't feeling well, kept going back to the doctor for tests. Turned out it was my thyroid and lo and behold, my mom has been on thyroid medication for years! That would've been damned helpful to know before all the tests. Once we had that guilt trip out, they now tell me everything.

My advice to you - keep explaining over and over you need an accurate family history in order to stay healthy.

Anonymous wrote:My parents are both like this (in their early 70s). Unless they truly don't know, everything is hush hush. We have limited medical history on both sides and we have a small family to begin with.

+1. It's all skimmed over. As an example, my grandmother had some sort of stomach pains, but I have no clue of her cause of death despite numerous attempts to find out. Was it a blockage? Cancer? Something else? It's like that for all relatives on both sides.

Anonymous wrote:They don't have to disclose their medical issues to you. Look up the death certs if you care so much.

No, they don't. But I haven't really forgiven my in-laws for only disclosing the family history AFTER my husband's cancer diagnosis. This sin of omission nearly killed their son.

It's generational - when bodily function are taboo, medical information is hard to get.

My parents are both like this (in their early 70s). Unless they truly don't know, everything is hush hush. We have limited medical history on both sides and we have a small family to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:They don't have to disclose their medical issues to you. Look up the death certs if you care so much.

I guess sometimes you have to stretch too far to troll. This attempt gets a D-.

My mother is a bit like this. I think it stems from her extreme intellectualism (all that matters is the life of the mind; she is a retired English professor and is still an active poet). She doesn't believe in complaining about the things of the body and is bored by medical detail.

They don't have to disclose their medical issues to you. Look up the death certs if you care so much.

If they won't tell you when asked direct questions and aren't making an effort to collect information then there is nothing you can do.

Fortunately I believe medicine is moving toward having more diagnostics that can tell us about our health based on our own bodies and histories and less on what our parents tell us.

Anyone ever run across this issue? They also refuse to seek medical attention for joint issues, etc. even though they pay tons in insurance. I'd like to know the reasons for death and other health issues for great grandparents and other family. I've gotten a few hints that they've all had heart health issues. I think its important to know! They don't seem to understand that.