OP, I just wanted to post that I unfortunately have some experience with what you're going through and that I feel for you . Thank you for being a loving, supportive sibling, but understand there is only so much you can do for another person.

Where does she live? Isn't there a grocery store that will deliver? Don't let her bully you.

Are your parents out of the picture? Any other siblings? Is there a social worker that could help arrange for food delivery?

I haven't dealt with this kind of disorder, but what if you said you will no longer provide financial support unless she seeks professional treatment? If she got a diagnosis, then she'd probably have access to public services in Canada - counseling and perhaps even some kind of disability support, some one to check in on her periodically. I would just feel so unqualified to help in this situation and it's not clear that your funds are actually helping her, even though you're doing all you can from here.

In sorry OP. A good friends mom does exactly as you are describing. Constant emergencies and mind games etc. She still hasn't found a way to deal but you aren't alone.

Another idea if you are still open to helping her would be to buy food on amazon.com and they will take your credit card. Not sure about shipping to canada. It sounds like the problem isn't really the technicalities of getting food to her, but more the unending and worsening abuse she unleashes. Hugs for that.

Anonymous wrote:Boundaries OP.

Your sister is not starving. If she were she would figure out how to get food. Don't play into her drama.

Op here. You are absolutely right. Thanks for the reality check.

Boundaries OP.

Your sister is not starving. If she were she would figure out how to get food. Don't play into her drama.

Anonymous wrote:Hire somebody local to go to the grocery store for her. Go up there once and find somebody you can work with to help you.

This is a good idea. I hadn't thought of that. Of course, what if she abuses that person too?

I'm am so shaken right now by her latest tirade that I just want to walk away from her forever. But I know that she is very ill. I would not walk away from her if she had cancer. Mental illness is a nightmare!!!

Find a soup kitchen she can go to and text her the address. Sorry you are in this situation.

Hire somebody local to go to the grocery store for her. Go up there once and find somebody you can work with to help you.

Anonymous wrote:No more money. Order her food and have her go get it each week/month. If she needs something, you pay for it over the phone or internet. Your money should not be going to a detective.

This is my problem right now. I can't get anyone in her Canadian city to take my credit card number over the phone.

Anonymous wrote:okay. If you know she is misusing the funds you send I would halt on that for the time being.

Does she have a social worker/case manager or therapist? Could you look into additional resources for her? It's really above and beyond to try to manage this from a distance!

This is good advice, but she does not believe there is anything wrong with her. She is under no professional care because she refuses. She once cut the cable wiring in her apartment building because she believed the feminists were using the wiring to spy on her. As a result she was taken to hospital for an evaluation. She was released after 24 hours because it was determined that she was not a threat to herself or anyone else. This was about 3 years ago. She has not seen a doctor since. No doctor/social worker will work with me without her consent and participation.

No more money. Order her food and have her go get it each week/month. If she needs something, you pay for it over the phone or internet. Your money should not be going to a detective.

okay. If you know she is misusing the funds you send I would halt on that for the time being.

Does she have a social worker/case manager or therapist? Could you look into additional resources for her? It's really above and beyond to try to manage this from a distance!

My sister lives in Canada. She has borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia.

She called on Friday to tell me she was starving. I ordered groceries online for her and paid with my credit card. The store sent me an email confirmation which stated that the food would be delivered yesterday between 11 and noon. I relayed this information to my sister.

The store never delivered and and when I called the rep told me that her apartment was "out of their range" so they cannot deliver the food. There was no warning in the online system that her apt would be out of range. I had to type in her postal code just to get the system going.

So I just spent the last hour calling pizza delivery places and restaurants to get food to her. Nobody will take a credit card over the phone. They want the credit presented to them upon delivery.

I just explained that to my sister and told her that I am working on getting her food. She yelled at me and told me that it is my fault that she is hungry because I f'ed up the grocery delivery. I send her $250 every month to help with her expenses. She spends the money on a private detective because she thinks feminists are following her. She is so rude and nasty to me. She calls me the most nasty names. I know that it is the illness talking but I can't take the abuse any more. I just want to wash my hands of her.

She has no food right now and I feel so bad for her, but she just ordered me to "figure it out" and hung up on me.

I am so done!!!