Anonymous
10/11/2014 23:18
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you attract a lot of drama, OP. DH probably just has crazy fatigue.
Doesn't matter. He's job is to protect. He's not doing it for a reason. This is all him
???
Anonymous
10/11/2014 23:11
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Op here. I don't attract a lot of drama. I would speak up if someone I knew was out of line about my husband and I see my friends doing it when someone criticizes their so. I just don't know what to make of my dh.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 23:00
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you attract a lot of drama, OP. DH probably just has crazy fatigue.
Doesn't matter. He's job is to protect. He's not doing it for a reason. This is all him
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:53
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Sounds like you attract a lot of drama, OP. DH probably just has crazy fatigue.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:40
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So none of you have been in a situation where someone insulted you in front of your so?
No, cannot say anything comes to mind. Either directed at me or at DH
I have routinely. I am a bit of an asshole. My husband would not stand for it. He is my ex husband now and still won't stand for somebody insulting me.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:38
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Anonymous wrote:If someone insults your so do you speak up? I'm fed up with my dh who is so afraid of confrontation that he runs away instead of ever defending me. This has been true with his co workers, with his family, and with strangers. Is there anything that will change him?
He doesn't love you. Sorry OP.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:33
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. It isn't constant. This is just something that has happened through the years. For example, one of his co workers who I had met once when we moved into a new home, called to say he was bringing a friend over to see our house. My dh wasn't home and I barely knew this guy. He wanted to walk a stranger through my house.
I tried to tell him I was leaving with my children and the guy became abusive and told me he would be bringing the friend over then so I needed to wait. I called my dh and told him about it and he did nothing. I just left the house with my dc. The guy showed up at our house unannounced a few days later with his friend and Dh never said anything to him about yelling at me but did stop the friend as he tried to walk through our house.
We were walking in to a crowded store one weekend with our small children and one of the employees started yelling at me and called me several names when I walked through some powder he was sweeping up. My dh just walked off and didn't say a thing. We were walking in with a crowd, most of whom also walked through the stuff, none of us noticed it, but the guy chose to insult me because I was closest to him.
I have a many more examples of insulting things his family has said or done and he just ignores it.
What in god's name are you even talking about?
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:33
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Anonymous wrote:So none of you have been in a situation where someone insulted you in front of your so?
No, cannot say anything comes to mind. Either directed at me or at DH
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:32
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
So none of you have been in a situation where someone insulted you in front of your so?
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:20
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Anonymous wrote:OP, if this many people are saying and doing things, perhaps DH agrees with them. The only person DH has ever needed to stand up to was my hyper critical and judgemental mom. Other than her, no one has ever said anything about me that warrants a defense.
I agree with PPs who have commented that your post seems to imply that you need a lot of defending, so you might want to look into the reasons for that.
However, to answer your question, in my experience it won't change, and is probably telling -- unfortunately I think you have to assume the bolded is true.
Many years ago my then-fiancé's mom asked me to leave the room for a family discussion, saying to everyone, "She's not family yet." I thought it was a bit nasty and unnecessary -- I was fine with giving them space, but a simple "Would you mind giving us a minute" would have been much kinder.
Later that evening when we were alone I mentioned this to my fiancé, saying my feelings were somewhat hurt and asking if he thought I'd done something to offend his mom. His response was, "She's right, you aren't family yet."
Needless to say he was soon after my ex-fiancé.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:14
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
OP here. It isn't constant. This is just something that has happened through the years. For example, one of his co workers who I had met once when we moved into a new home, called to say he was bringing a friend over to see our house. My dh wasn't home and I barely knew this guy. He wanted to walk a stranger through my house.
I tried to tell him I was leaving with my children and the guy became abusive and told me he would be bringing the friend over then so I needed to wait. I called my dh and told him about it and he did nothing. I just left the house with my dc. The guy showed up at our house unannounced a few days later with his friend and Dh never said anything to him about yelling at me but did stop the friend as he tried to walk through our house.
We were walking in to a crowded store one weekend with our small children and one of the employees started yelling at me and called me several names when I walked through some powder he was sweeping up. My dh just walked off and didn't say a thing. We were walking in with a crowd, most of whom also walked through the stuff, none of us noticed it, but the guy chose to insult me because I was closest to him.
I have a many more examples of insulting things his family has said or done and he just ignores it.
I tried to tell him I was leaving with my children and the guy became abusive and told me he would be bringing the friend over then so I needed to wait. I called my dh and told him about it and he did nothing. I just left the house with my dc. The guy showed up at our house unannounced a few days later with his friend and Dh never said anything to him about yelling at me but did stop the friend as he tried to walk through our house.
We were walking in to a crowded store one weekend with our small children and one of the employees started yelling at me and called me several names when I walked through some powder he was sweeping up. My dh just walked off and didn't say a thing. We were walking in with a crowd, most of whom also walked through the stuff, none of us noticed it, but the guy chose to insult me because I was closest to him.
I have a many more examples of insulting things his family has said or done and he just ignores it.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 22:00
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
OP, if this many people are saying and doing things, perhaps DH agrees with them. The only person DH has ever needed to stand up to was my hyper critical and judgemental mom. Other than her, no one has ever said anything about me that warrants a defense.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 21:58
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
Why do you need so much defending? based on your post, I think you are the one who needs to change.
Anonymous
10/11/2014 21:57
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
How often are co-workers, strangers and family insulting you in front of your DH?
Anonymous
10/11/2014 21:43
Subject: Men do you defend your so or dw?
If someone insults your so do you speak up? I'm fed up with my dh who is so afraid of confrontation that he runs away instead of ever defending me. This has been true with his co workers, with his family, and with strangers. Is there anything that will change him?