I have a 3 yo girl and a 7 year old boy. So far, it was been wonderful. I recognize that this could change on a dime, but so far it has worked out well.

When she was born, DS was already old enough that he was in preschool, fully potty trained and fairly independent with most things - eating/dressing. That made the first year so much easier. There was a little jealousy at first, on and off, but nothing unmanageable.

When DD went through her terrible twos, DS handled the tantrums quite well. Like the other poster mentioned. Not too much frustration. Mostly laughing at how silly she was being!

Like the other PP, we mostly plan things based on the older DS. But, if there's something going on for DD, we make sure that DS needs to attend and support his sister (if warranted).

DS is old enough that he's never been threatened by DD's successes, which I think is key. He's pretty inherently competitive, but he knows he stronger/faster/smarter (relatively?) than her. So, he's extremely supportive and gets so proud if he thinks he's taught her something.

She loves it when he gets home from school and he likes to hear about her day.

They have never shared a room.

We're huge on respecting each other. DD can't get away with stuff just because she's younger, and DS can't get away with torturing his sister because she's smaller. Anything like that gets punished pretty hard.

Of course, they have sibling squabbles, but on the whole, we've been pretty surprised that they've developed as close a bond as they have. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it continues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have a boy and girl 5 years apart. They are now 9 and 4.

They adore each other and get along great, perhaps because my son, the eldest, is patient, encouraging and non-possessive! He can both play with her at her level yet deal maturely with her little tantrums without retaliating.

They enjoyed sharing a room for two years, especially as they both had the same bedtime (DD needs less sleep than DS at the same age). Now DD requested her own room, but they still routinely get into each other's beds, and share all the books and toys.

Outings and entertainment are usually chosen with the oldest in mind, with the expectation that the youngest will follow and not be too traumatized, which has worked well for us but may not be appropriate for every little sibling. It depends on the kid. Thus she is dressing as Voldemort for Halloween and presented the Spinosaurus for Show and Tell - she got that from her brother's expounding of the National Geographic mag. DD wants to have homework like her brother and emulates all he does - as a result, she has an academic level beyond her age, which is not uncommon for competitive little siblings!

A 5 year age gap has proven wonderful, in short. No jealousy, and a strong bond between them.

This is SO wonderful to hear! We are due in January with a little girl who will be five years younger than her brother. I am so excited. Thank you!

This is pretty much our experience too.

I have three kids - 10, 9, and 5 - and the all share a room (the middle child is a girl). They get along pretty well, though my daughter and younger son have periodic fights over various things. The hardest part is when my daughter has friends over - my son feels left out and everything evolves into screaming between the two. Other than that, they enjoy each other most of the time.

I have a girl 5 and a boy almost two. 3.5 years apart. They have shared a bedroom since DS was about 9 months or so. We recently moved into a bigger place where they could each have a room but DD wanted to share so they still sleep in the same room. They argue a little bit (like a pp mentioned, DS will knock down block towers, etc., on purpose) and DS pulls DD's hair to get her attention but they really love each other and get along pretty well overall. its pretty cute.

Anonymous wrote:
I have a boy and girl 5 years apart. They are now 9 and 4.

They adore each other and get along great, perhaps because my son, the eldest, is patient, encouraging and non-possessive! He can both play with her at her level yet deal maturely with her little tantrums without retaliating.

They enjoyed sharing a room for two years, especially as they both had the same bedtime (DD needs less sleep than DS at the same age). Now DD requested her own room, but they still routinely get into each other's beds, and share all the books and toys.

Outings and entertainment are usually chosen with the oldest in mind, with the expectation that the youngest will follow and not be too traumatized, which has worked well for us but may not be appropriate for every little sibling. It depends on the kid. Thus she is dressing as Voldemort for Halloween and presented the Spinosaurus for Show and Tell - she got that from her brother's expounding of the National Geographic mag. DD wants to have homework like her brother and emulates all he does - as a result, she has an academic level beyond her age, which is not uncommon for competitive little siblings!

A 5 year age gap has proven wonderful, in short. No jealousy, and a strong bond between them.

This is SO wonderful to hear! We are due in January with a little girl who will be five years younger than her brother. I am so excited. Thank you!

I have an older DD (7) and a younger DS (3). The do not share a room. They love each other, but there is a lot of fighting and general conflict. They play tag and other playground games together, but in the house I have to keep things separate or the little one will knock over the big one's blocks, Legos. barbies etc to get her attention and them all hell breaks lose.

Argh. I just typed a long answer and then accidentally erased it. Long story short, DS and DD are 3.5 years apart, they love each other, and I love the gap.

They didn't share a room, but DS (older) wanted to and talks about it like it might happen one day. He wants to get bunkbeds so that DD can "sleep over" in his room.

I wore DD everywhere from the first week we were home (emergency trip to the ER on day 1 with DS, who we thought had broken his ankle --fortunately, he hadn't). I played whiffle ball with her in the ergo, we went to freezing cold Nats games in April, etc. She loved everything about being out and about, and about being strapped to me. And I had hands free to interact with DS. If you don't like babywearing, or your baby doesn't like it, your calculus might be different.

We were aiming for a two year age gap but the stars didn't align, but I wouldn't have it any other way now.

We have a boy and girl 4.5 years apart. Our daughter is only 9 mo, so she still uses our room. They play together as much as a baby and a kid can.

My brother is about 4 years older than me. Sorry to share a less positive story, but we never got along well, and he was pretty mean to me, I think abusive is probably an appropriate term. Never shared a room but we bathed together old enough that I remember it, which I think was super inappropriate. I would be very cautious about things like sharing a room.

Mine are 3 yrs, 3 months apart. Never shared a room. He has the perfect personality to be a big brother so it's worked out well. Minimal competition, maximum encouragement.

I have a boy and girl 5 years apart. They are now 9 and 4.

They adore each other and get along great, perhaps because my son, the eldest, is patient, encouraging and non-possessive! He can both play with her at her level yet deal maturely with her little tantrums without retaliating.

They enjoyed sharing a room for two years, especially as they both had the same bedtime (DD needs less sleep than DS at the same age). Now DD requested her own room, but they still routinely get into each other's beds, and share all the books and toys.

Outings and entertainment are usually chosen with the oldest in mind, with the expectation that the youngest will follow and not be too traumatized, which has worked well for us but may not be appropriate for every little sibling. It depends on the kid. Thus she is dressing as Voldemort for Halloween and presented the Spinosaurus for Show and Tell - she got that from her brother's expounding of the National Geographic mag. DD wants to have homework like her brother and emulates all he does - as a result, she has an academic level beyond her age, which is not uncommon for competitive little siblings!

A 5 year age gap has proven wonderful, in short. No jealousy, and a strong bond between them.

DD 3 yrs 9mo older than DS. They shared a room we moved when she was 6. She has sweet memories of her baby brother throwing his stuffed animals from his crib to wake her up. She would throw them back at him. They talk about this now that they are older -again, talk very sweetly about it. When DS was an infant I had his crib in a corner of the living room behind a partition. I often slept on the couch. Maybe the first 3 months before moving him into "their" room. DD was a HS senior when DS was a HS Freshmen. They had many of same teachers, knew each others friends, cheered each other's sports. I'd say they are quite close

Yes we too have a boy 7 and girl 3. I think it is a good mix. He is old enough to understand her limitations and can sometimes be a teacher or helper to her. She looks up to him and wants whatever he has. They are different enough that their toys don't necessarily overlap - princess vs. Star Wars etc.
It is frustrating for him when she can't understand games, but it doesn't come up that often.
They haven't shared a room. She doesn't mind being carted around to his activities at all. She is a homebody who just wants to hang out with Mommy right now.

Mine are just over 4 years apart. Never shared a room, the baby stayed in our room In her own bed til around nine months and then we moved and she has her own room. She mostly got dragged around as an infant to her brothers activities. But he was in preschool full time not long after her birth and then elem school so she gets lots of undivided attention too. They play a good deal at three and seven but the older gets frustrated at her sometimes freezes r things like it understanding how to play hide and seek correctly. Fun times.

Did they or do they share a bedroom? Have much in common or able to play together? How has the age gap impacted activities or deciding on entertaining outings?