Anonymous wrote:Why don't you solve the problem of giving the child both last names. Do two separate last names, no hyphen and the child can drop on later on or choose to use just one right now. There is nothing wrong with your last name. Traditionally kids get their father's name. Nice is child has both names. If he is paying child support and on the birth certificate and having visits, it is nice to also make this about him too, and for some people the name is important. Just like the name is important to you, it is to him. So, you do Larla Eliza Johnson Smith. Simple.

I think this is a good suggestion because even though it's tempting to dig in to the death on things, the truth is that digging in is not in your child's best interest. Just like having paternity established and having child support is in your child's best interest, so is cooperating on fairly mundane matters like this.

I totally sympathesize that this guy is a jerk and he's jerking OP around. But he IS your child's father. (And believe me I have to remind myself all the time that my *sshole X is also my DC's father.)

I wouldn't do it. And I wouldn't add the fathers last name the way PP is suggesting.

Why don't you solve the problem of giving the child both last names. Do two separate last names, no hyphen and the child can drop on later on or choose to use just one right now. There is nothing wrong with your last name. Traditionally kids get their father's name. Nice is child has both names. If he is paying child support and on the birth certificate and having visits, it is nice to also make this about him too, and for some people the name is important. Just like the name is important to you, it is to him. So, you do Larla Eliza Johnson Smith. Simple.

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it.

I agree. What if you changed your child's last name and then his father is an absent one again? don't change to the father's last name

He doesn't have a chance at forcing that.

No. He is not married to you. He cannot force you to change child's last name.

I wouldn't pay a lawyer on this one (unless it becomes obi that you need to do so). I'd contact the women's law center or even the MoCo Family Court division and just ask about it. MoCo Family Courts have been incredibly helpful to me in the past (as much as I bitch about bureaucracy, etc., they have some amazing staffers that really do try to help people walk through the family court system even when they don't have legal representation).

He should have asked for that at the time paternity was established.

Just because he's a man does not mean that the child must take his last name. I can't see anyone but a terribly unfair, misogynistic judge forcing you to change the last name, especially this late in the game. I don't think you need to worry.

Don't do it.

Don't worry too much, OP.

No you both have to Agee
He can't force you to change it

You'd both have to agree to it, and clearly, you don't =) Stick to your guns---he's only doing this to impress someone, he'll disappear again...

I suspect he has no chance in hell. But ask a lawyer.

Absent father the first 3 years of my son's life keeps pressuring me to change the child's last name (my last name) to his. We have been through Montgomery County Courts and establish paternity... added his name to birth certificate ... set visitation which commenced a month ago..... and child support. I'd like to share the same last name with my son. I've told him his name is now on the birth certificate and he has now the opportunity to have the relationship... why change the last name ..what's wrong with mine...doesn't come to doctor's appointments.. sports... I have a feeling he will take this to court... Does anyone have experience with a matter like this in court? What is the courts/judges position. He left me when I told him I was pregnant after 4 years... then in court 3 years later states on paper he is a good married man father of 3.

I'd like to hear from anyone who has suggestions on how to support my son keeping my last name...anyone with the experience in court...
Should I give in.?