Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but this is so odd to me. Delete FB because you can't control yourself?

OP is presenting a false dichotomy to relieve herself of the burden of taking responsibility for her own actions.

Sorry, but this is so odd to me. Delete FB because you can't control yourself?

In my country of origin, I had male friends and could chat without the idea of romance or something like that.
In the US I had to learn to say no to lunches and dinners to men I wasn't attracted to.

Anonymous wrote:And keeping that from progressing into areas that would be considered "cheating". It's pretty hard. I guess I have to delete facebook? How do you shut off evolutionary urges?

Charles Darwin is spinning in his grave right now.

You must think highly of yourself. Do you possibly misread cues into thinking people want you more than they actually might? Are you looking?

Conversely as opposed to going the pious route you can be a obtuse asshole and doesn't matter if you're attracted to others or not - no one will want to be with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:join a convent or the priesthood.

sarcasm aside, are you thinking/saying that you can't have any friends of the opposite sex b/c you can't control yourself and that's why you fear it will lead to cheating?

Yes. Even if it's not physical, some conversations can lead down a road that might be considered....inappropriate.

So don't have those conversations. Sheesh. Methinks you are looking for an excuse to not control yourself. "evolutionary urges"? WTF.

You are going to think I am missing you rpoint but I am actually being more useful than you think. DON'T HAVE THE CONVERSATIONS. You avoid temptation by avoiding it. If the convo starts: "I have to go." If you think it will start: change the subject or leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:join a convent or the priesthood.

sarcasm aside, are you thinking/saying that you can't have any friends of the opposite sex b/c you can't control yourself and that's why you fear it will lead to cheating?

Yes. Even if it's not physical, some conversations can lead down a road that might be considered....inappropriate.

then you need to get some help to figure out how you can control yourself, not put yourself in such situations.

if you're really in your mid-30s and not a HS student who ducked out of class early, you have some serious growing up to do, and fast.

Anonymous wrote:Curious, are you make or female and how old?

mid 30s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:join a convent or the priesthood.

sarcasm aside, are you thinking/saying that you can't have any friends of the opposite sex b/c you can't control yourself and that's why you fear it will lead to cheating?

Yes. Even if it's not physical, some conversations can lead down a road that might be considered....inappropriate.

What is a conversation that you've had that would be considered inappropriate? How could you have avoided that conversation, rather than indulging in it?

If my primary reason for wanting to spend time with a person is that I am sexually attracted to them, I do not spend any more time with them than is strictly required. If it's a colleague, I am pleasant but do not seek lunch encounters, do not ask to be staffed on projects with them, do not sit next to them at meetings, etc. If it's another parent at my child's school, I do not seek playdates with the family in question (unless we already have that kind of relationship, in which case, I would try to schedule playdates with multiple families, not have one-on-one time, etc.).

Basically, I do not make up reasons to be around someone I secretly want to sleep with. I have not found this to be a problem. Maybe it's because I don't believe that people are 100% controlled by these urges that the OP finds problematic.

Curious, are you make or female and how old?

Anonymous wrote:join a convent or the priesthood.

sarcasm aside, are you thinking/saying that you can't have any friends of the opposite sex b/c you can't control yourself and that's why you fear it will lead to cheating?

Yes. Even if it's not physical, some conversations can lead down a road that might be considered....inappropriate.

join a convent or the priesthood.

sarcasm aside, are you thinking/saying that you can't have any friends of the opposite sex b/c you can't control yourself and that's why you fear it will lead to cheating?

And keeping that from progressing into areas that would be considered "cheating". It's pretty hard. I guess I have to delete facebook? How do you shut off evolutionary urges?