There can certainly be a lot of drama first year. I'm not sure so much about bullying. I was bullied in high school but not at all in college.

I think bullying is lifelong. Adults are better equipped to deal with it. And bullying based on race, religion, national origin, and gender is illegal.

It diminishes, but doesn't vanish. Freshman dorms can be bad because you often don't have a choice as to roommates or who is on your floor. Once you are able to choose who you associate with, bullying mostly goes away, but the emotional scars remain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest that I bullied two girls in college. One was a romantic rival.

Were you a mean girl in high school too? What conversations about bullying do you have with your kids?

(no snark, genuinely curious)

I was bullied in HS by a group of wealthy girls. I have no excuses though for my own behavior. I mishandled my annoyance with one girl and my jealousy with the other. My kids know that I was both a victim and bully. We emphasize respect and empathy for others. Both have been bullied once or twice, but they seem to have refrained from becoming bullies so far.

Well, there are bullies in the workplace, on the sidelines at kids' sporting events, and in the line at the supermarket, so I'm guessing they're in college before that.

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest that I bullied two girls in college. One was a romantic rival.

Were you a mean girl in high school too? What conversations about bullying do you have with your kids?

(no snark, genuinely curious)

I'll be honest that I bullied two girls in college. One was a romantic rival.

no

Think of the Rutgers kid who committed suicide after a group of kids were spying on him and posting videos. Whatever else it may be, it was also bullying. I think a dorm floor could be a pretty awful place in the wrong conditions. I also went up a large school where it seemed like there were options for everyone. But I'm sure a dorm could also be a nightmare.

Some people on my floor freshman year tried to bully me, but I didn't notice at first, lol. I think they had been big shots on the high school campus, and thought that still meant something in college.

Anonymous wrote:You are college educated and seem to think that bullying didn't happen because you didn't see it? Not very rigorous thinking there.

Actually, I don't know whether it happens or not. I witnessed bullying (on a day to day basis) in a high school that was tiny compared to the college I attended where I did not witness bullying once in a four year period. I can't rule out that bullying occurred in my college, but I am confident that any bullying that did occur was far less prevalent than in my high school. That said, I have one data point and am curious to know what others experienced.

You are college educated and seem to think that bullying didn't happen because you didn't see it? Not very rigorous thinking there.

Anonymous wrote:I think it changes names to "hazing."

Hazing is different (to me) because it is associated with the voluntary act of joining a group (fraternity, team etc) and most know what to expect when they join. Hazing occurs as an initiation ritual and has a defined period (usually first year) after which the person that was hazed may haze others. Bullying is quite different, I think.

I think it changes names to "hazing."

I went to a large school and saw no evidence of bullying. The school was large enough that everyone cold find their niche and people didn't bother one another. I've wondered whether the absence of bullying is a characteristic of just large schools or even small colleges (that are more like high school)? Do children all mature than fast? or does leaving home have an impact on bullies? Has anyone witnessed bullying in college?