OP, if they bring it to the point of a showdown, then have a showdown and set the boundaries. Also set the precedent that in your house, it's your rules. Dogs on furniture are a pretty easy point on which to feel like you are within your rights. Make the dog get down, and tell your parents that it's your house, and in your house, animals don't get to sit on the human's furniture. Perhaps they could bring a dog bed with them when they visit, so the dog can lie on its bed.

Does she bring her IPAD as well?

OP, MIL is like this, in reverse: it is fine for strangers to bring a dog to her house/beach rental, or her to bring a dog to anyone else's house without asking, but she is actually "selective" - in that we can not bring our well-behaved, non shedding dog. So, I don't know what to tell you.

Some ILs are bat shit crazy, that's all.

Anonymous wrote:ILs brought their dog to visit twice. They and the dog were poorly behaved. We told them we didn't want the dog coming. They found dog sitters after that.

Your ILs don't have NPD. If you haven't dealt with it you will have trouble understanding. I do watch many boundaries with them and it's exhausting. It's like dealing with 5 year olds.

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

As a hopefully financially-independent adult, it might be best for you to risk offending your parents rather than to have to put up with their unpleasant personalities.

The dog is just an expression of their disdain for you. Stand up to your parents, and accept the consequences.

Yep - I'm 100 percent financially independent. One of the nice things about having parents with the disorder is you learn to fend financially for yourself from an early age.

ILs brought their dog to visit twice. They and the dog were poorly behaved. We told them we didn't want the dog coming. They found dog sitters after that.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - What if the family members are your parents? Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the acronym above.

Then you don't invite them over, parents or not. It's your house, your furniture, your rules.

OP,

As a hopefully financially-independent adult, it might be best for you to risk offending your parents rather than to have to put up with their unpleasant personalities.

The dog is just an expression of their disdain for you. Stand up to your parents, and accept the consequences.

You have the problem. Why do you let family member walk all over you?

OP here - What if the family members are your parents? Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the acronym above.

Anonymous wrote:Then family member doesn't get to visit.

What is NDP?

Near Dog Problem

If the family member does not respect the house rules the family member is not welcome in the house.

Then family member doesn't get to visit.

What is NDP?

Family member does not have a problem, you do.
Sorry, but in my house I get to make the rules. After the first time , the dog does not get past the front door.
It may not be easy, but it is that simple.

I find this behavior terribly rude. Family member just ignores me when I say dogs are not allowed on our furniture. Family member has NDP. There is no use reasoning with family member but I need a place to vent.