I am very sorry to hear about this.
We just found out that our first IVF did not work, and male factor is also an issue for us.
It hurt very badly in the beginning. I wanted to crawl into a deep hole and never wake up, but we have slowly begin to regroup and plan the next steps.
Maybe reach out to your SIL and let her know that you are thinking about them. It is hard for us to discuss with others, since nobody we know has struggled like this. It is very generous of you to help them with money. Can you converse via your mom? They are probably in a raw state now, so it may help to wait a little.