He doesn't usually tell me he breaks things, I usually see later. I'm feeling sick to my stomach about all this.

react vs reach

Great. I was using different because I wouldn't think as someone as having a problem. We all "tick" differently and being different individuals we want to cope so that the "outcome" will be more socially acceptable. So you might have a few things to look into.

Pick your battle.
ADHD
Self Esteem
Anger management


So for example, I have heard like being Autistic, too much noise irritates them and that raises the irritability thing.

or ADHD might mean he is not understanding things as well as he should so he is "coping" by having a low self esteem, getting frustrated and taking it out on objects (which wont react back)

I can sense your dilema.... I too wish with all these things translating to whats going on in schools (eg. shooting, sick videos etc) psychologists and specialist shouldn't charge so much for the better good of mankind. Its like a different doctor really and many health plans help a little but there are far lower caps than regular doctors.

I understand it takes lots for these specialists to go through school but sometimes, you can't help but wondering if it really works. You throw money, have short hours, and they drive off in a BMW while you are left struggling to pay bills and having an old beat up chevy...


But nonetheless, I think you should try. its better to start young than when it gets out of hand. Especially the breaking things part. Does he self mutilate etc. How does he reach after the breaking things?

I agree. Our therapists said that right away, he said not to ask him anything about what they talk about.

My son's therapist graduated in 2008, he likes him.

PP, did counselling alone help with the depression?

The therapist shouldn't be reporting all the juicy gossip to the parents. If your kid thinks your therapist is going to run to you with confidences, then he won't develop a trusting relationship with the therapist and the therapy will be useless. A good therapist will want to talk to the parents, to get a rounder picture than what the teen might be saying, but that doesn't mean the therapist is passing on all the teen's secrets to the parents.

You might check into cognitive behavioral therapy (anxiety management skills, anger management, communication skills), depending on what the issue is.

Know also that therapy for teens has changed drastically over the past 10-15 years. Find somebody with recent training.

Also, if DC doesn't click with a therapist, then don't be afraid to change. DC has been in therapy for a year (major depression) and his first therapist, in retrospect, was a complete charlatan from the crime, punishment and bribery school that nobody thinks works anymore. Moving to the second therapist has been like night and day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends on the issue i guess. we all have differing issues to "fix" or work out so I guess there is no across the board duration?

Fair enough, but have you found it helpfuL?

Yes and no. Yes in the sense that you hear things that she would never ever have told you. So a "third person" is good insight. But no sometimes because I think all these talk, while supposed to get things out of the system doesn't really resolve anything. Or so it seems.

My teen son's therapist never tells me what they talk about.
Doesn't it teach you child things? Coping skills? Problem solving?

So in our case, there are sessions alone and there are sessions together..... That seemed to help a little and yes, generally coping and "problem" solving skills are often discussed to help her analyse the situation and cope. If I may ask, what do you suspect is "different" with your child?

Not sure "different " is the best word.
He has ADHD. I think his self esteem is low. He is irritable sometimes. The biggest issue is that he breaks things when he is mad. He needs to learn coping skills and self control. He is poor at verbalizing his feelings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends on the issue i guess. we all have differing issues to "fix" or work out so I guess there is no across the board duration?

Fair enough, but have you found it helpfuL?

Yes and no. Yes in the sense that you hear things that she would never ever have told you. So a "third person" is good insight. But no sometimes because I think all these talk, while supposed to get things out of the system doesn't really resolve anything. Or so it seems.

My teen son's therapist never tells me what they talk about.
Doesn't it teach you child things? Coping skills? Problem solving?

So in our case, there are sessions alone and there are sessions together..... That seemed to help a little and yes, generally coping and "problem" solving skills are often discussed to help her analyse the situation and cope. If I may ask, what do you suspect is "different" with your child?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends on the issue i guess. we all have differing issues to "fix" or work out so I guess there is no across the board duration?

Fair enough, but have you found it helpfuL?

Yes and no. Yes in the sense that you hear things that she would never ever have told you. So a "third person" is good insight. But no sometimes because I think all these talk, while supposed to get things out of the system doesn't really resolve anything. Or so it seems.

My teen son's therapist never tells me what they talk about.
Doesn't it teach you child things? Coping skills? Problem solving?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends on the issue i guess. we all have differing issues to "fix" or work out so I guess there is no across the board duration?

Fair enough, but have you found it helpfuL?

Yes and no. Yes in the sense that you hear things that she would never ever have told you. So a "third person" is good insight. But no sometimes because I think all these talk, while supposed to get things out of the system doesn't really resolve anything. Or so it seems.

Anonymous wrote:depends on the issue i guess. we all have differing issues to "fix" or work out so I guess there is no across the board duration?

Fair enough, but have you found it helpfuL?

what are you concerned with?

depends on the issue i guess. we all have differing issues to "fix" or work out so I guess there is no across the board duration?

Rathbone Associates in Bethesda, if that's near you.

Bump

Has anyone sent their teen to counselling. Was it effective? Why did you send them?
Does anyone have any stories to share? How many sessions were necessary?