Yes. Dated for 4. Married for 25. 1st love. Best decision of our lives...and we have had our share of disagreements and shouting and yelling as well.

Bonus - He is the most supportive spouse, most considerate son-in-law, and hand's down the most loving dad in the world!

So very much. We dated for 4 years, have been married for 8 and have one DD. He is far from perfect, does many things that annoy the crap out of me, but I would rather have our worst day than a day without him. I know I do things to annoy him as well, and I've been really working on that lately, and it's been helping a lot. I'm a bit controlling, and I've been letting go, and it's so nice

Unfortunately for us, DH didn't have the best influence in my FIL. DH obviously realizes it at this point, so he actively tries to do better than his cheating, abusive, selfish father (who apparently has gotten better himself, but knowing he's done all this rubs me the wrong way). Marriage is an active thing, you have to work or you'll get nothing out of it.

I have to brag for a moment, I have an amazing husband. I kissed a lot of frogs to get to my prince, but can understand how OP can feel this way. When I reflect back on past relationships, I can see me feeling this way if I had married some of the guys I dated.

My advice to you is become best friends. As suggested, find common interests or new activities to enjoy together. Look into relationship help courses or books. We took a course called 'Love and Respect'. It really opened my eyes into what basic needs a man has...he wants you to have his back, appreciate him and respect him. As women, we often forget to do this and focus on what DH is not doing. Men are wired differently and need to be treated accordingly. Tell your DH what you need emotionally and don't expect him to read your mind. I love my DH more with each passing day for the person he is and the way he loves me.

I wish you happiness and a better sense of love in your marriage. Hang in there and honor the great things you share with DH.

Anonymous wrote:Every day is a chance to think a different way. Start telling yourself how much you love your DH. Something that also works for me is to keep making myself someone that my DH would want to love. He responds instinctively to that and we get closer and closer.

Nice, I am going to actively try this. Thanks for the suggestion.

Every day is a chance to think a different way. Start telling yourself how much you love your DH. Something that also works for me is to keep making myself someone that my DH would want to love. He responds instinctively to that and we get closer and closer.

^^^PP here. I meant to say sometimes I will make the suggestion that we do the activity together, or be encouraging when he wants to do it with friends (without me).

Yes, I do. DH and I have very different interests. I have tried to take an interest in his things, and have explicitly told him that I know he likes [interest] but I don't know much about it, so it would help if he talked to me about it and let me ask questions. If it's an activity like hiking or watching football, sometimes I will make the suggestion.

This isn't going to solve all of your marital problems, but it is an easy place to start. As long as he isn't into sex clubs.

Yes, absolutely.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We've been married 28 years. I love him more now than I did the day we got married. I strongly believe that love is an action. It is not some magical thing that two people just feel all the time. I wake up every morning and actively choose to love my husband.

+1 Wise.

Anonymous wrote:Totally! We have two and I am pregnant with a third. I got a hankering for a complicated dish and he promptly packed up both kids and took them food shopping with him for the ingredients.

That's so sweet! What a loving husband.

Yes. We've been married 28 years. I love him more now than I did the day we got married. I strongly believe that love is an action. It is not some magical thing that two people just feel all the time. I wake up every morning and actively choose to love my husband.

Yes. You live with children for 18 years but have a husband for a lifetime.

Totally! We have two and I am pregnant with a third. I got a hankering for a complicated dish and he promptly packed up both kids and took them food shopping with him for the ingredients.

Yes. Very much.

Honestly I don't know if I love mine. We own a decent home, I am able to SAH with the baby (we have 2 kids) and he is a good father. I don't feel like I love him though. We had a very quick courtship before I got pregnant, and it has been rocky ever since. We've been together a total of 5 years. I have a good enough time with him when we are out on dates, but to be honest I'd probably have a good time with anyone on a date. At home we have different interests. For the sake of the kids I feel like it is best to stay. We argue a lot but nothing too extreme (then again, I don't know what other relationships are like).