Anonymous wrote:I'd email the teacher and/or the counselor. Phrase it as concern about your daughter, not blame on the other kids. "Suzie has been coming home telling me that she can't find anyone to sit with at lunch/play with at recess. Could you please take a look to see how she's interacting with the other kids?"

At least at my public, the counselor will do that.

Yes. Don't even need to name the trouble child. Just say "she's having problems with some of the other girls" or something along those lines.

I'd email the teacher and/or the counselor. Phrase it as concern about your daughter, not blame on the other kids. "Suzie has been coming home telling me that she can't find anyone to sit with at lunch/play with at recess. Could you please take a look to see how she's interacting with the other kids?"

At least at my public, the counselor will do that.

I would talk to the teacher and potentially the school counselor about how to handle it, but I would not go have lunch with her. (She needs to foster her own independence at school.)

The goal is for her to handle most of these things on her own, but the school to have an inclusive environment and not intentionally exclude kids.

Does the school talk about bullying and including others? I know mine does all the time. It's normal behavior but kids should be hearing from their teachers and parents regularly about how to treat others fairly and nicely.

AT our elementary school, the counselor invites children to bring their lunch to her office and talk about issues. She also does presentations in the classroom. I emailed ours last year when DD said she wanted to talk to her about an issue she was having. The counselor immediately responded and met with her that day. I would reach out to the counselor. Let the counselor figure out what's going on with the girls - and then he/she can talk to the teacher if necessary if there's anything that could be implemented in the classroom / at lunch without alerting the other girls that your DD had an issue.

my daughter is in first. honestly, encourage her to play with the boys too. at this age it's fine. it's odd to me you are counting and focusing on girls only.

as the year progresses the other girls will be more open to her. there will be tons of girls to play with on the playground.

just be careful you aren't fueling this. I agree moms and girls can clique at this age through girl scouts etc. but that isn't everyone.

check yourself a bit. you truly sound to me like you are going to make this worse for your daughter. maybe tough to hear but true possibly?

there is nothing wrong with boys!!

OP here. I am up for emailing the teacher/counselor, but I'm kind of at a loss for the best way to phrase it. I don't want to seem like I am attacking the other girls or being dramatic. Can anyone suggest how to phrase it? I don't know the teacher very well yet. She has a good reputation at the school but is younger (6th year teaching) and single/childless.

FWIW, my DD had a fantastic group of girls in her class last year (same school) - NO cliques - but sadly they ALL have other teachers this year (5 total.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd let the teacher know and maybe also let the school counselor know. It is early, but if they have lunch bunches or something similar, they will have your daughter on their radar screen.

Totally agree. You might also try joining your DD for lunch once a week if you can swing it. At that age, all the kids clamor for adult attention and some of your glamor will cover her when you're not there.

I had 1st grade drama and went there just to see how nasty the other girls were.. it helps to see. I am so glad DD is not at that school with that nasty group anymore! She did go to 2nd grade there which she had and has a buddy but got into AAP and we moved her to a center.

Anonymous wrote:I'd let the teacher know and maybe also let the school counselor know. It is early, but if they have lunch bunches or something similar, they will have your daughter on their radar screen.

Totally agree. You might also try joining your DD for lunch once a week if you can swing it. At that age, all the kids clamor for adult attention and some of your glamor will cover her when you're not there.

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn't the teacher be seeing this and stopping girls from excluding one girl (for nothing?) after only a week? In first grade? I would email the teacher letting her know what was happening and ask her if she can get the girls to be inclusive.

Hopefully your teacher is sensitive - my DDs 1st grade teacher and she considered anything outside of her classroom (including specials etc.) as not her responsibility. I would consider talking to the school counselor - they are good at tailoring the talks about certain topics impacting the class dynamics.

Shouldn't the teacher be seeing this and stopping girls from excluding one girl (for nothing?) after only a week? In first grade? I would email the teacher letting her know what was happening and ask her if she can get the girls to be inclusive.

Tell the teacher kind of as an FYI. Meanwhile, tell DD to focus on the kids who are kind (even if they're boys).

Anonymous wrote:What school?

This is happening at every DMV school everyday.

Why does is matter what school?

What school?

I'd let the teacher know and maybe also let the school counselor know. It is early, but if they have lunch bunches or something similar, they will have your daughter on their radar screen.

So it begins. DD has been coming home telling me the other girls don't want to sit with her or play with her (lunch/recess.) there are only 8 girls in the class (out of 23.) she says they all want to be with this one girl, lets call her Molly. I ask what happens if she tries to sit with them anyway and she says they scoot over so there is no room. She says she plays alone at recess, or plays with girls in other classes (which sometimes is allowed, other times not.)

So, my 2 questions are:

What should I say to my daughter?
Should I say anything to the teacher yet? It's so early still...

FWIW, my daughter has not had any trouble making/keeping friends until this point. None of the girls from her K class are in her 1st grade class.