Anonymous wrote:We may call it a gratuity in this country, but if you do not pay it, you are stealing service. That waiter is not paid much and your failure to pay is being complicit in the inequity of the pay system. Adjust it a little up or down between 10 and 20%, but to leave nothing is being cheap and petty. If you're that type of person, you're probably getting bad service for a reason.

OP here. I can't think of a time when I left less than 10%. But we should not feel obligated to leave more than 10% if the service was not great. If the service was downright awful, we should not have to leave a tip. You are not stealing service if you choose not to tip. Tipping is supposed to be optional. Anyone who takes a job waiting tables should know this.

Don't even get me started on the automatic tip. We recently went out to eat with a group of 11. We had a reservation and there were not even enough chairs at our table. The waiter stood there while we brought chairs from another table. He ended up coming to our table 3 times - took our order, brought us drinks, delivered food. Never refilled drinks, cleared plates or offered desserts. Automatic 18% tip, so apparently he didn't see any point in working hard to maybe get it bumped up to 20%. We always have the worst service when there is an automatic tip.

I'm starting to feel better about not eating at places where I can tip more than a couple times a year.

Anonymous wrote:OP totally missed the point of the article and used the wrong story to illustrate points of good service. This story is about a jerk who left a server who reportedly did provide adequate service a 20 cent tip on a $60 bill. That's more insulting then leaving nothing at all. Also while OP is aware of the fact that servers make around $3 per hour with the expectation that they earn tips that bring them up to at least minimum wage, s/he conveniently leaves out the fact that servers are taxed on a percentage of their sales (when I was a server many years ago it was approximately 8%) based on the same assumption. When you don't tip it actually costs the server money. How to address poor service in a FULL SERVICE restaurant, OP, is another discussion entirely.

OP here. In my original post, I said "for the sake of argument, let's assume the service was bad." Maybe it wasn't. Maybe he was just being a jerk. I don't know and neither do you.

We may call it a gratuity in this country, but if you do not pay it, you are stealing service. That waiter is not paid much and your failure to pay is being complicit in the inequity of the pay system. Adjust it a little up or down between 10 and 20%, but to leave nothing is being cheap and petty. If you're that type of person, you're probably getting bad service for a reason.

PS, Black people don't tip. Boo if you want, y'know I'm right. That's what happened here.

OP totally missed the point of the article and used the wrong story to illustrate points of good service. This story is about a jerk who left a server who reportedly did provide adequate service a 20 cent tip on a $60 bill. That's more insulting then leaving nothing at all. Also while OP is aware of the fact that servers make around $3 per hour with the expectation that they earn tips that bring them up to at least minimum wage, s/he conveniently leaves out the fact that servers are taxed on a percentage of their sales (when I was a server many years ago it was approximately 8%) based on the same assumption. When you don't tip it actually costs the server money. How to address poor service in a FULL SERVICE restaurant, OP, is another discussion entirely.

Waited on tables yet it wasn't full service restaurant? Huh?
You are pointing out the obvious things.

Thank you captain obvious for your mediocre contribution at the steak buffet joint...next

Other tips I learned waiting tables:

Never refer to a table full of people as "guys", as in, "How are you guys today?"

Say, "May I take that plate out of your way for you?" instead of "Are you done eating/working on that?" Some people hate to have a dirty plate in front of them and some hate when you clear their plate and others are still eating, as PP noted above. If you ask if you can take it away, they can say no, they would prefer to wait. Most restaurant servers are told that a dirty plate should never remain on a table, though.

OP here. Thank you PPs, but most of these were not my original ideas. I had a boss who ingrained these in us. This was at a buffet steakhouse, so not exactly fine dining. I think he was good about figuring out these little things because he would actually sit and eat like a regular customer with his friends and family on a regular basis. He was constantly looking for ways to improve the customer experience. For example, he realized that his wife always needed to ask for an extra cup of ice with her tea. From that point on, we were expected to give everyone a cup of ice for their tea. You would not believe how much people appreciated that. When their own kids were toddlers, they realized that the one wet wipe and plastic bib that came wrapped in the highchair tray did not cut it, so that's when we were told to start bringing extras.

I don't know that a lot of restaurant owners truly attempt to experience their restaurant from the customer's perspective. But they really should.

Anonymous wrote:OP, will you be my server for the rest of my life?

Also, if I may add Don't ever say "Are you still working on that?" Eating out isn't work. I enjoy it.

Wow OP, you sound amazing! You should submit these to Tom Sietsema so lots of restauranteurs can see it.

My personal pet peeve is when they take away my husband's plate (without checking) and I'm left eating alone. Oh hi, I don't feel rushed or anything. I'll just shovel this food in alone, OK?! My husband is wonderful though and keeps his plate or slows down for me.

OP, will you be my server for the rest of my life?

Also, if I may add Don't ever say "Are you still working on that?" Eating out isn't work. I enjoy it.

PP that's my point! When I got a crappy tip, it was almost always because I deserved a crappy tip from that table! also, it's not always the servers fault. At the restaurant I worked at, the cooks were not supposed to put a plate in the window until the entire order was ready. They kept it under a warmer if it was done early. So it would have the film on it before I could even get to it.

Didn't click the link but I can tell by the tone of your post that no one deliberately gave you a crappy tip. You got what you actually deserved. Also, if food is sitting long enough to congeal then you are failing as a server.

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/09/10/restaurant-owner-refuses-to-apologize-for-tip-shaming-a-nfl-player/

After reading about this, I would like to talk about restaurant service. McCoy is either a complete jerk, OR he got really crappy service that day. For the sake of argument, let's assume the service was poor. If that's the case, I think he had every right to stiff the server. I am sooo sick of this mindset that we are obligated to leave a decent tip no matter what. Yes, servers receive a cruddy wage, but if they are good at their job, they can earn a very decent living.

I waited tables for several years in college. We were trained that tips were to be earned, not expected. We were supposed to impress each and every table. Well, we all have our bad days, and I would occasionally get the dreaded penny tip. It was usually the kick in the pants I needed in order to realize that I better get my act together if I didn't want to leave empty handed. Sometimes, I didn't even realize that I was not coming across well to customers until I got a few poor tips. Overall, the tip truly reflected the quality of the service. sure, you would occasionally get some jerkface who would stiff you for no reason, but that's life. And it would eventually be countered by someone who leaves a tip that was way beyond generous for no reason. Leaving a tip that hasn't been earned is like paying a salesperson commission without buying their product.

We were not even a full-service restaurant (customers ordered and paid at register), but we were trained to keep a mental list of all the "little things" we could do to impress customers. That's what's missing these days. They never seem to do the little things. Here's my mental list. Maybe others will add to this list and we will help out some servers who happen to read this!

Bring extra napkins and wet wipes to a table with small children. Don't ask, just do it.

Iced tea is brewed pretty warm so ice melts fast. bring an extra cup of ice. Don't ask, just do it.

When you bring the meal, serve women first and make sure the entree (not a side item) is closest to the customer.

Master the art of checking on a table without interrupting conversation. More often than not, walking by the table and pausing long enough for them to get your attention if needed is better than asking "is everything ok?" fifty thousand times. You should only need to ask that once, after everyone has tasted their food. After that point, you will return enough times (refilling drinks, clearing plates, asking about desserts) that they will let you know if something's not ok.

Master the art of changing your question to a yes/no question if you realize mid-sentence that they have food in their mouth.

Almost everyone pushes their plate away, lays utensils across it, or places trash on it when they are done. If they have done none of these things, DO NOT even ask if they are done! And certainly don't take the plate without asking.

Bring the soda refill and THEN take the old glass. If there is still some left in the glass, they may want to finish it while waiting for refill. If the glass is empty, you still want to leave it so that they know you are giving them a fresh glass. It's unsanitary to refill a dirty glass.

If a meal has been sitting long enough to develop a thin film on the sauce or gravy, have the cook freshen it up before serving. Customers notice and it's a dead giveaway that the meal has been sitting there awhile.

If someone puts cream and/or sugar in their coffee or iced tea, don't top it off constantly. You are messing up their formula! Wait until it is at least halfway empty. If you think the coffee might need topped off because it's cold, just ask first. better yet, learn how to approach the table and kind of hold the coffee pot up in a way that indicates you are asking if they want it filled, trying not to interrupt, if possible.

Never comment about how much or little someone ate.