In general I just don't get it when couples start stipulating a lot of requirements for their wedding. This includes:

- destination weddings to exotic and expensive places
- special dress codes like black tie
- setting up gift registeries to fund your honeymoons, your house downpayment, etc.
- asking that guests make donations to your favorite charity

What ever happened to just a regular wedding? It's like every wedding now needs to be a "special expression of our uniqueness." Gag. Just get married, drink some champagne and dance a little. Then go on a trip and have a nice life. Done!

Many people our age (I'm assuming we are the older ones because we are slamming "the kids") already own the tux and a few appropriate dresses. Hopefully it's simple for some people. I agree with the PP that the heavy hors can be better anyway.

I'm also curious why you think there would be no food. If they aren't, asking for people to wear black tie and then not feeding them is extraordinarily thoughtless. Asking people to a party with no dress code and not feeding them is ridiculous too.

Are you assuming no dinner because no meal choice was given on the invite? I have been to 3 buffet weddings recently..

Visit 'rent the runway' if you want to see some dresses. I almost wish I had a black tie event to attend so I could rent a dress!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with black tie. Reminding everyone in an email is horrible.

Expecting people to spend the money to rent a tux, and rent/buy a ball gown so you've got some cool memories and pictures, but not having the decency to actually feed them a meal is pretty wrong. I get that not everyone can afford a wedding with a meal, which is fine, but in that case the whole event should match what you can afford.

op here - yeah, that's basically it. i feel like there are some mismatched expectations here.

for us, we are local, so at least we're not shelling out for a hotel and travel, etc. for us, it's just sort of irritating to be nagged about a dress code while also not being sure if we could come ready to eat or already full (already full, i am guessing).

but i do think that people are just bonkers about their weddings and how entitled they should feel to impose upon guests.

i will add to this: i am grumpy about getting dressed up on the best of days. and i loathe princess-y, ritualized kinds of things. so i am probably not the most sympathetic audience to the nonsense that attends even a normal wedding, forget about one where guests are reminded to put on fancy pants but aren't even going to get the benefit of a chicken dinner.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with black tie. Reminding everyone in an email is horrible.

Expecting people to spend the money to rent a tux, and rent/buy a ball gown so you've got some cool memories and pictures, but not having the decency to actually feed them a meal is pretty wrong. I get that not everyone can afford a wedding with a meal, which is fine, but in that case the whole event should match what you can afford.

I think black ties are fun. And hey, at a lot of the recent weddings I have ebeen to, the hors d'oeuvres have been better than the meal. I think i would prefer heavy hors d'oeuvres and drinks over a formal sit down dinner

Nothing wrong with black tie. Reminding everyone in an email is horrible.

Anonymous wrote:How can you have a wedding after 6 PM and not include a meal? Is it heavy hors d'oeuvres at least?

not sure. cocktails, i know. jeez, millennials!

How can you have a wedding after 6 PM and not include a meal? Is it heavy hors d'oeuvres at least?

Anonymous wrote:everyone,

if you don't like it, please RSVP with your regrets.

thanks,

the kids

feh, if only it were that easy. you know it's not.

everyone,

if you don't like it, please RSVP with your regrets.

thanks,

the kids

Black tie and no meal?

Sucks.

hey kids, yay you found love and want to get married. seriously, we're happy for you and we (well, i - husband doesn't care) love being a part of Your Big Day.

but sending around an email reminding guests that the wedding is black tie and that means that you do have to wear a tux and/or evening gown, when you aren't even feeding us an actual meal, is a little annoying.

love,
everyone