Anonymous wrote:to help your mom save face, you might say, I know, I know..things were so different when I was a kid, but we worry a lot..etc..

Yes -- this

Anonymous wrote:Pay for help that you can boss around. Free labor, keep your mouth shut.

Oh please. You people who can't have a normal, important conversation to save your life absolutely puzzle me.

No, this is not about "free labor = keep your mouth shut". OP this is your mother, she cares about your DS, you care about your DS, and these days it's not safe to leave him at the house of someone you don't know. Period, end of story. But there is NO reason you can't discuss this in an appreciative way with your family OP. And most grandparents would want to know how you see this because, indeed, depending on how they grew up and how/where they raised you, they may not realize that this isn't ok these days (and sometimes wasn't when they were raising you!)

Anonymous wrote:I would go about it like this - "So fun that DS has a little friend. I would love to meet him and his parents to thank them for having him over. Which one is his house and/or do you have their phone num so I can text them? I want to deliver cookies to them this weekend."

NP - Totally disagree with this approach. It does nothing to explain to Mom that it's not ok to leave Aidan at the houses of people that none of you know. You can still couch it all in a "So great that DS has a friend" language, but at some point OP has to - however delicately - explain to her mom that things are different these days and Aidan can't be left at the home of a friend that you or your DH don't know and haven't approved of. That is the bottom line, and the approach above skirts that issue completely. If OP takes the above approach, nothing has been said to Mom to not then leave Aidan at the next stanger's house.

Pay for help that you can boss around. Free labor, keep your mouth shut.

No. I would agree with you if the issue was that the mom was letting the kid watch too much TV, feeding him junk food etc. But letting him go to a stranger's house alone is something you should raise, politely and respectfully.

Pay for help that you can boss around. Free labor, keep your mouth shut.

I would go about it like this - "So fun that DS has a little friend. I would love to meet him and his parents to thank them for having him over. Which one is his house and/or do you have their phone num so I can text them? I want to deliver cookies to them this weekend."

Is your Mother becoming better acquainted w/school families than you?

Or it could be that your Mother has the view point from a different era.

Or her judgement may be affected due to her age.

to help your mom save face, you might say, I know, I know..things were so different when I was a kid, but we worry a lot..etc..

Thanks. I don't mean to sound immature - my mom is just very touchy so I appreciate your suggestion on the way to phrase it.

This is your mother not some stranger or colleague or someone you just met. Just tell her.

"Mom, let's make sure we know the families before sending Aidan to play. I trust your judgement or you can just call me first so we can talk about it. thanks so much for all of your help."

We are incredibly lucky that my mom lives nearby and is retired, so she can pick DS up after K three days a week (she takes classes the other two days). Yesterday, when I called her, she said that she didn't have DS with her and that he was playing at a classmate's house nearby. I have no idea who this classmate is or who the child's parents are. All that my mom knew was the kid's first name. I really don't think my mom should have just dropped him over there and left with us knowing nothing about these people. I want to say something, but very nicely - I do greatly appreciate her help in picking DS up, but this just seems unsafe. How would you raise this issue?