Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 21:28     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry for all of the harsh responses op, as I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband is the complete opposite in child rearing in that he is way too strict with our kids. Sometimes I think he hates our kids too.
He expects them to sit up straight at all times, use perfect manners, don't interrupt, don't ask more than once, don't talk back, don't make a mess, don't talk loud, don't run, and on and on and on. Sometimes I wish for a husband like yours so my kids could have more of a life.

So maybe the pp was right, the grass isn't always greener for you?

Anyways, good luck!


OP here. I am not strict, I just want teeth brushed, showers two times a week, 80% of homework done. They can sit however they want, run if they want, and the house is a mess.
DH sees no reason to brush teeth, wear a bike helmet; bathing once a month is fine, homework is for losers.
Go figure.


OMG OP. I would be livid. So your DH would be ok with

1. cavities and paying for fillings/teeth pulling
2. trips to the ER
3. stinky children that perhaps their teachers would not want to be too close to (especially in the summer with all that sweat)
4. not be able to get into a good college

Sounds like your DH is just too lazy to be a parent. How was your DH raised? In a barn?
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 21:22     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
Anonymous wrote:Sorry for all of the harsh responses op, as I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband is the complete opposite in child rearing in that he is way too strict with our kids. Sometimes I think he hates our kids too.
He expects them to sit up straight at all times, use perfect manners, don't interrupt, don't ask more than once, don't talk back, don't make a mess, don't talk loud, don't run, and on and on and on. Sometimes I wish for a husband like yours so my kids could have more of a life.

So maybe the pp was right, the grass isn't always greener for you?

Anyways, good luck!


OP here. I am not strict, I just want teeth brushed, showers two times a week, 80% of homework done. They can sit however they want, run if they want, and the house is a mess.
DH sees no reason to brush teeth, wear a bike helmet; bathing once a month is fine, homework is for losers.
Go figure.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 20:45     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
It really sucks when your husband sucks as a father.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 20:32     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
Anonymous wrote:Sorry for all of the harsh responses op, as I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband is the complete opposite in child rearing in that he is way too strict with our kids. Sometimes I think he hates our kids too.
He expects them to sit up straight at all times, use perfect manners, don't interrupt, don't ask more than once, don't talk back, don't make a mess, don't talk loud, don't run, and on and on and on. Sometimes I wish for a husband like yours so my kids could have more of a life.

So maybe the pp was right, the grass isn't always greener for you?

Anyways, good luck!


I don't think the responses have been harsh. The comments from the OP make me want to cringe. I feel bad for her husband. He may not be the best dad, but it really sucks when your spouse doesn't respect you.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 20:21     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
OP, I knew someone who maybe was not a great husband, but a phenomenal father. He went to extremes (in a good way, not overboard) for his children, 24/7. He was an example for any father.

Alas, the wife took off with some other guy who could afford a townhouse in suburban hell.

So, which one is it?

Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 13:14     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
Sorry for all of the harsh responses op, as I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband is the complete opposite in child rearing in that he is way too strict with our kids. Sometimes I think he hates our kids too.
He expects them to sit up straight at all times, use perfect manners, don't interrupt, don't ask more than once, don't talk back, don't make a mess, don't talk loud, don't run, and on and on and on. Sometimes I wish for a husband like yours so my kids could have more of a life.

So maybe the pp was right, the grass isn't always greener for you?

Anyways, good luck!
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 13:04     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
OP, are you the one who started the thread about your DH about not helping teach your kids?

Either way, you should look into counseling.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 12:43     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
Watch this, OP. Good for you for admitting your feelings, but the grass always does appear greener, doesn't it? You never know what you are really seeing; and really, be careful what you wish for.

Sorry for all of the metaphors, but they are true, in this case.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 11:53     Subject: Re:I envy my friend's husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yowser! I mean this kindly OP, but I think you need couple's counseling. I wouldn't wait.


I know, but think it would be a waste of time and money. He is in my opinion a loser father that my kids like now (since the answer is always yes), but will not respect later.


I'm the person you quoted. I think you have two choices: (1) go to therapy, try to change/improve the relationship, or (2) get a divorce -- it's not fair to you or your spouse to stay in the relationship if there's no love or respect.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 10:18     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
I agree w/ the pp's re counseling and addressing your issues within your marriage.

Also, don't waste too much energy envying what you think you see in someone else's marriage. You never know what is going on inside a family, regardless of what you think you know from seeing them. Just sayin...
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 10:10     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
Your kids won't respect him because you don't. Fix it now before it becomes an issue later.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 09:11     Subject: Re:I envy my friend's husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yowser! I mean this kindly OP, but I think you need couple's counseling. I wouldn't wait.


I know, but think it would be a waste of time and money. He is in my opinion a loser father that my kids like now (since the answer is always yes), but will not respect later.


It sounds to me like you don't respect him. That's a huge red flag for your relationship in my eyes. Say 'yes' to counseling. (and maybe parenting classes later - I think that part is fixable)
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 09:05     Subject: Re:I envy my friend's husband
Anonymous wrote:Yowser! I mean this kindly OP, but I think you need couple's counseling. I wouldn't wait.


I know, but think it would be a waste of time and money. He is in my opinion a loser father that my kids like now (since the answer is always yes), but will not respect later.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 08:07     Subject: Re:I envy my friend's husband
Yowser! I mean this kindly OP, but I think you need couple's counseling. I wouldn't wait.
Anonymous
Post 09/04/2014 08:04     Subject: I envy my friend's husband
Because of the way he raises their kids.
Oh, what I would give for a husband who could control my kids, make them eat right, follow through....

The one thing I would never do with my husband again is raise kids. He is an irresponsible, passive, tuned out father.
I sometimes think he hates our kids.