She's hitting up people for money to pay for her dogs surgery??

People should only hit up others for money if they are homeless, have a significant medical issue etc.

Her getting angry is insignificant.

OP, you won't make any progress, w/relationship problems of any kind, until you realize this.

MommaRN wrote:She has money for a cell and a dog (some would consider a dog a complete luxury when you're not working---either by choice or circumstance!). I think you know that all of your previous money will never be seen by you again, don't let anymore of your hard earned dollars fly her way

+1

She has money for a cell and a dog (some would consider a dog a complete luxury when you're not working---either by choice or circumstance!). I think you know that all of your previous money will never be seen by you again, don't let anymore of your hard earned dollars fly her way

Who cares if she's mad when you say "no." She is rude and manipulative with you. She owes you $1500 and laughed when your daughter was in an accident. Why would you care if a person like that was mad at you???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text her back:

I was upset that you found my daughter's accident funny, and I am angry that you did not follow through on your promise to repay the money for your dog's surgery.

You left out "I will no longer enable you so please do not ask me for money again."

Type these sentences exactly. Then, do not engage with her. If she calls, let it go to voicemail and listen later.

Notice what others in your family have done--they've set boundaries and stopped engaging with her. Follow their example. If you have a problem such as your child being in an accident, do NOT call her. Find others to support you. Again, NO ENGAGEMENT.

Listen to the above posters. They are right. When she calls, do not answer or if you do answer and she asks for money tell her you are still waiting for her to pay back what she owes you. Stop lending her money. She pushes you hard for it because you are a sucker. Stop being a sucker.

Oh, HELLS NO. Do not entertain any kind of money request from family or "friends". If you do, you better pay the source directly. If you don't, you would be smarter!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text her back:

I was upset that you found my daughter's accident funny, and I am angry that you did not follow through on your promise to repay the money for your dog's surgery.

You left out "I will no longer enable you so please do not ask me for money again."

Type these sentences exactly. Then, do not engage with her. If she calls, let it go to voicemail and listen later.

Notice what others in your family have done--they've set boundaries and stopped engaging with her. Follow their example. If you have a problem such as your child being in an accident, do NOT call her. Find others to support you. Again, NO ENGAGEMENT.

She calls in crisis because she hopes you will get so caught up too that you feel like you have to give her the money. Start delaying returning her phone calls until crisis is over. It's manipulation. With out explanation empathize but don't give her another dime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text her back:

I was upset that you found my daughter's accident funny, and I am angry that you did not follow through on your promise to repay the money for your dog's surgery.

You left out "I will no longer enable you so please do not ask me for money again."

Totally agree with these suggested texts. I would NOT agree to let your sister off the hook about the money, though. If she ever asks you for money again, I would simply say, "I am waiting for you to repay the last three loans. The total is $2300 [or whatever]. It makes me extremely uncomfortable that you keep asking for money from me when you do not pay me back for all the other times I loaned you money."

I'm sorry your sister is like this.
My SIL is similar. In the 20 years I'm been married to her brother, she has asked anyone and everyone for money and has used guilt to get it out people especially her mother.

"I need $500 to replace the rites on my car. You don't want Larla (her daughter) to be driving around in an unsafe car with bald tires, do you - especially in winter."

"I need $1000 to buy a therapy dog so I can feel better about myself and get a good job."

She's nothing but drama, drama, drama. Luckily we live 2500 miles away. DH gets close to falling for her tricks but I talk sense into him. (like get a job at Walmart in the evenings, or retail hires like CRAZY at Christmas time)

Anonymous wrote:Text her back:

I was upset that you found my daughter's accident funny, and I am angry that you did not follow through on your promise to repay the money for your dog's surgery.

You left out "I will no longer enable you so please do not ask me for money again."

Text her back:

I was upset that you found my daughter's accident funny, and I am angry that you did not follow through on your promise to repay the money for your dog's surgery.

Let go of the cash--lesson learned.

Stop sending your sister money, and pretty much let go of any notion of a normal relationship with her either.

Two weeks ago I got a frantic call from my sister -- her dog needed emergency surgery. I talked with the vet and researched it. The dog would die without surgery, but it was $1500. No one would loan my sister the money and the vet would not take a payment plan. My sister promised that she would pay me back for the surgery as soon as she got a check, which she got the next day. The surgery went well and the dog is recovering nicely, but no repayment.

After she got the check, but before I could ask her to pay me back, she started a big fight with me. It happened like this: My DD was injured in a car accident. I called my sister -- I was upset-- and she thought the accident was very funny. I could not believe that she was actually laughing. At the time I was too shocked to really say anything. It is obviously not funny, but it does serve the purpose of deflecting from her owing me money for the vet bill. Also being so inappropriate/ unbelievable/ unexpected that it is a kind of "shock bomb" technique that stopped me cold. There were other remarks -- really an attack. Afterwards I see why ... and why other members of he family have drawn a line with her. Then I look back over the past year and realize that I have been sending her money for this and that every few months, each time saying this will be the last time. She has been out of work for over a year, although she has been offered several jobs.

Now I am getting texts "what did I do?" "why are you annoyed" "I just don't understand" I know that she has not "forgotten" that conversation. And I understand that she is very mad at me for asking for the money back. I feel completely manipulated by this. I understand that she does not intended to repay me. But what to do now? Please no need to be snarky.