Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any respect for your current partner? It doesn't sound like it. You should end one relationship before you start another. Yes, you're taking a risk that it won't work out with your colleague and then you'll be alone, but it's completely unfair to your current partner to keep them in the wings while you test out someone else. Why are you with someone you clearly don't give a f-k about?

For gosh sake, please clam down I asked what you would do. I haven't done anything but am weighing my options. That I'm being thoughtful about this and haven't done anything with my coworker means I do respect my partner.

If you really respected your partner you wouldn't be posting here asking about this.
You would know that it's disrespectful to your partner to pursue someone else while you keep them in the wings...period.
But the fact that you are considering this tells me you are not fulfilled in your current relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it a few dates/sleepovers, if there is chemistry break off the other relationships and do your thing.

Sorry if I sound naive but do you mean cheat on our significant others to test the waters and see if we want to dump them to date each other? It feels a little cold but that's what the kids are doing now...

If you are having sex with your SO, then ignore the coworker or break it off. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and you can't go wrong.

+1

Anonymous wrote:If you can't go into this get-together with purely amicable intentions, then I wouldn't do it until you've decided what to do about your current relationship. If you want to be with that person, then don't get together with your coworker. If you're dissatisfied with your current partner (and you don't have to justify why, your feelings are your own), then break up with them cleanly before pursuing anyone else. Even if you date former coworker, there's no guarantee it'll go anywhere, so make sure you're okay giving up your current partner regardless of the outcome with former coworker before you do anything.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give it a few dates/sleepovers, if there is chemistry break off the other relationships and do your thing.

Sorry if I sound naive but do you mean cheat on our significant others to test the waters and see if we want to dump them to date each other? It feels a little cold but that's what the kids are doing now...

If you are having sex with your SO, then ignore the coworker or break it off. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and you can't go wrong.

Are you "dating" your current guy or Ina a relationship with him? I think that would sway what I'd suggest doing. If you go for drinks, dinner, and casual sex with him a few times a month, that's different than having a drawer at each other's places and spending most nights together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any respect for your current partner? It doesn't sound like it. You should end one relationship before you start another. Yes, you're taking a risk that it won't work out with your colleague and then you'll be alone, but it's completely unfair to your current partner to keep them in the wings while you test out someone else. Why are you with someone you clearly don't give a f-k about?

For gosh sake, please clam down I asked what you would do. I haven't done anything but am weighing my options. That I'm being thoughtful about this and haven't done anything with my coworker means I do respect my partner.

Not the PP, but you clearly have no future with the current guy if you're in "considering other guys" mode. In the absence of other info, it seems like you're keeping the current guy available as a stand-by.

FWIW- I say end your current relationship and totally go for it with the ex-coworker. If that's where your heart is, take the risk and go all in. But quit this pussy halfway stuff.

If you can't go into this get-together with purely amicable intentions, then I wouldn't do it until you've decided what to do about your current relationship. If you want to be with that person, then don't get together with your coworker. If you're dissatisfied with your current partner (and you don't have to justify why, your feelings are your own), then break up with them cleanly before pursuing anyone else. Even if you date former coworker, there's no guarantee it'll go anywhere, so make sure you're okay giving up your current partner regardless of the outcome with former coworker before you do anything.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any respect for your current partner? It doesn't sound like it. You should end one relationship before you start another. Yes, you're taking a risk that it won't work out with your colleague and then you'll be alone, but it's completely unfair to your current partner to keep them in the wings while you test out someone else. Why are you with someone you clearly don't give a f-k about?

For gosh sake, please clam down I asked what you would do. I haven't done anything but am weighing my options. That I'm being thoughtful about this and haven't done anything with my coworker means I do respect my partner.

Do you have any respect for your current partner? It doesn't sound like it. You should end one relationship before you start another. Yes, you're taking a risk that it won't work out with your colleague and then you'll be alone, but it's completely unfair to your current partner to keep them in the wings while you test out someone else. Why are you with someone you clearly don't give a f-k about?

No the kids are not doing that... If you are in a monogamous long term relationship you have to make a decision. Friendly meeting up is cool. But don't have multiple hookups while you "test-drive" him/her. The person you are dating still deserves respect even if you aren't married.

And if this coworker is someone you then want to be in a real relationship with, what would be your thoughts if after a year he/she was test driving someone else?

Anonymous wrote:Give it a few dates/sleepovers, if there is chemistry break off the other relationships and do your thing.

Sorry if I sound naive but do you mean cheat on our significant others to test the waters and see if we want to dump them to date each other? It feels a little cold but that's what the kids are doing now...

Give it a few dates/sleepovers, if there is chemistry break off the other relationships and do your thing.

Anonymous wrote:If neither of you are married or dating anyone else. Absolutely go on a date and see where it goes.

That's the problem, we're now both dating other people. Is it worth all the break ups to see where it goes?

If neither of you are married or dating anyone else. Absolutely go on a date and see where it goes.

When I was separated, I met my coworker and there was instant chemistry. I chalked it up to general crazy feeling surrounding my imminent divorce. Plus hello coworker. So we became great work buddies and never pursued anything. Fast forward two years later to the present: I'm divorced, dated a few people, and have been dating someone for a year. My coworker is also dating someone. I left my job about a month a ago and the now former coworker really wants to get together. Should I date my former coworker? We're still really attracted to each other after all this time. It's maybe not nice to our significant others to leave them to see each other but no one is married. I'm 33 if that matters. What would you do?