Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll put out more when I'm less tired and less irritated by DH. For most women, the body and mind are connected so if I'm annoyed with DH, it's hard to be in the mood. Same goes for being tired.

Annoying I can work on. My wife chooses to be tired inasmuch as she takes on a lot of discretionary tasks and responsibilities. For example, if she'd said, "would you like to have a garden or have sex?" I would have happily gone without the garden. But she makes time for the garden and makes it a priority. (And, no, helping with the gardening doesn't get me laid.)

Sorry but she is making an excuse NOT to have sex with you. I would always choose sex over chores. You have other issues. Talk to her. And listen. Some men forget that part.

Anonymous wrote:I'll put out more when I'm less tired and less irritated by DH. For most women, the body and mind are connected so if I'm annoyed with DH, it's hard to be in the mood. Same goes for being tired.

Annoying I can work on. My wife chooses to be tired inasmuch as she takes on a lot of discretionary tasks and responsibilities. For example, if she'd said, "would you like to have a garden or have sex?" I would have happily gone without the garden. But she makes time for the garden and makes it a priority. (And, no, helping with the gardening doesn't get me laid.)

I'll put out more when I'm less tired and less irritated by DH. For most women, the body and mind are connected so if I'm annoyed with DH, it's hard to be in the mood. Same goes for being tired.

The stats show that your best bet for sex frequency is to live with someone but not marry them.

jooos, I mean when I WASNT married

I think it's a factless based article

I clean house 50% and do all the grocery shopping / cooking. I get 10% of the sex when I was married.
Listen. If you have a spouse with a very low sex drive ......... you can't do shit about it when they're selfish on top of that.

Nothing sexy about my DH doing chores. What I find sexy is a confident man. A man who can take charge. Him doing or not doing chores has nothing to do with my drive.

As a matter of fact, I've been fucking his brains out lately. There is this other woman we know who is clealy after him. It has been such a turn on. Of course I've not told him, but we have had sex every night since Friday. For some reason this woman throwing herself at him has my panties all wet. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying "the ride".

Anonymous wrote:I think the author misstates the narrative around how the chore/sex link gained currency. She suggests that the narrative was "too often, sex is treated like a reward that women dole out to men for performing their chores well."

That turns the advice that was being given five or so years ago on its head. The popular narrative was that women needed an extra incentive to have sex - that if a husband did chores, his wife would be more likely to have sex. See, e.g., this 2008 article from Diane Mapes "Gals make passes at guys who wash glasses": http://www.today.com/id/23015839/?GT1=10856#.U9kXKbHNAZ1

"“When a man is willing to step up to the plate — and wash it for you — you’re going to think about him in a very different way. It’s not just that he’s domesticated. It’s that he recognizes that these things have to get done. That they’re not just automatically going to be done for him. And that’s hot.”"

In any event, the upshot is that sex and chores don't have much of a correlation one way or the other. Have sex if you want to. Do chores if you want to.

In my house, my SAHM DW has low drive. I see zero corelation between chores and sex. I do tend to feel like helping out on the domestic front if the sex is there, so there may be an inverse relationship.

I think the author misstates the narrative around how the chore/sex link gained currency. She suggests that the narrative was "too often, sex is treated like a reward that women dole out to men for performing their chores well."

That turns the advice that was being given five or so years ago on its head. The popular narrative was that women needed an extra incentive to have sex - that if a husband did chores, his wife would be more likely to have sex. See, e.g., this 2008 article from Diane Mapes "Gals make passes at guys who wash glasses": http://www.today.com/id/23015839/?GT1=10856#.U9kXKbHNAZ1

"“When a man is willing to step up to the plate — and wash it for you — you’re going to think about him in a very different way. It’s not just that he’s domesticated. It’s that he recognizes that these things have to get done. That they’re not just automatically going to be done for him. And that’s hot.”"

In any event, the upshot is that sex and chores don't have much of a correlation one way or the other. Have sex if you want to. Do chores if you want to.

This is not our case.

I wonder what we're doing wrong?

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/07/30/sex_and_housework_study_sharing_chores_doesn_t_make_couples_have_less_sex.html

Turns out the data claiming otherwise was almost 30 years old, based on couples from the 80s.

DH gets plenty of sex, because we each do about half the work at home and that means more energy for us both to be frisky.