Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a (young) single mother, and women with your attitude bother me. You can't force someone to be a parent and even if you could, it wouldn't be good for your child to have a father figure in his life that flat out doesn't want to. Secondly, birthdays aren't about the parents, it's about the child. Your child can have a great birthday without him. I advise you to:

1) face reality
2) get child support
3) raise this child to be the best man on your own
4) find another father figure when you are ready
5) stop bitching

I would go for all of the above.

People like you bug me. I don't know when it became wise for women to always be strong and never complain. She's "bitching" on an anonymous board. That's actually healthy in my book. She's probably putting on a smile for her son IRL. You could always ignore this thread altogether.

And you can ignore my post.

I'm OP. I can't speak for PP but I will ignore.like I said post back in few years after bottling it all up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a (young) single mother, and women with your attitude bother me. You can't force someone to be a parent and even if you could, it wouldn't be good for your child to have a father figure in his life that flat out doesn't want to. Secondly, birthdays aren't about the parents, it's about the child. Your child can have a great birthday without him. I advise you to:

1) face reality
2) get child support
3) raise this child to be the best man on your own
4) find another father figure when you are ready
5) stop bitching

I would go for all of the above.

People like you bug me. I don't know when it became wise for women to always be strong and never complain. She's "bitching" on an anonymous board. That's actually healthy in my book. She's probably putting on a smile for her son IRL. You could always ignore this thread altogether.

And you can ignore my post.

Notice it's "deadbeat dad" and not Ex husband. Not that it must be mutually exclusive. I'm just wondering how long they were together and if they had a relationship or if they were just having sex.

I'm tired of women picking losers and then whining about it when the loser didn't step up. Sorry Ladies, you need to use your brains and choose the right guy for yourself and your child(ren). I feel so sorry for the child(ren) that have to grow up with only one parent. Especially since they KNOW that the other parent didn't want them. How awful.

OP, make sure your child is well loved.

You can do your best to make him pay child support through the courts if need be. You cant make him be a parent.
Don't keep trying, involve lots of male and female positive role models in your kids life. They will do better than spending time with someone who can't be bothered.

Sorry OP. My kid's deadbeat dad just passed 3 years of no contact and refusing to pay child support despite the order (so 'young single mother at 20:00, it's not always straightforward).

We're both much, much better off without him in our lives, I'm happily remarried and DH is an amazing father figure to DC, but it still sucks to answer questions from my 6yo about why her 'other' dad doesn't visit or see her anymore.

I don't understand XH at all. I can't imagine completely abandoning my child like that.

"man up" "grow a pair"

Not very respectful ways to speak about men. If a man spoke about the mother of his child this way people would be yelling misogyny.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a (young) single mother, and women with your attitude bother me. You can't force someone to be a parent and even if you could, it wouldn't be good for your child to have a father figure in his life that flat out doesn't want to. Secondly, birthdays aren't about the parents, it's about the child. Your child can have a great birthday without him. I advise you to:

1) face reality
2) get child support
3) raise this child to be the best man on your own
4) find another father figure when you are ready
5) stop bitching

I would go for all of the above.

People like you bug me. I don't know when it became wise for women to always be strong and never complain. She's "bitching" on an anonymous board. That's actually healthy in my book. She's probably putting on a smile for her son IRL. You could always ignore this thread altogether.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a (young) single mother, and women with your attitude bother me. You can't force someone to be a parent and even if you could, it wouldn't be good for your child to have a father figure in his life that flat out doesn't want to. Secondly, birthdays aren't about the parents, it's about the child. Your child can have a great birthday without him. I advise you to:

1) face reality
2) get child support
3) raise this child to be the best man on your own
4) find another father figure when you are ready
5) stop bitching

I would go for all of the above.

Post back in 10 years "young" one.

I've certainly learned that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Actions speak louder than words. You control what you can control and do the best you can. Try to leave the bitterness behind. I know how hard it is to do that but you will feel so much better if you do.

I have to coparent with a father who tries to limit my time with our son & make my life miserable by any means possible. I have endured 10 years of this & have at least 6 more to go. Count your blessings if he is leaving you both alone, it could be much much worse.

I'm a (young) single mother, and women with your attitude bother me. You can't force someone to be a parent and even if you could, it wouldn't be good for your child to have a father figure in his life that flat out doesn't want to. Secondly, birthdays aren't about the parents, it's about the child. Your child can have a great birthday without him. I advise you to:

1) face reality
2) get child support
3) raise this child to be the best man on your own
4) find another father figure when you are ready
5) stop bitching

I would go for all of the above.

Sorry, OP. I know it sucks when you have such a "winner" for a co-parent. You can see how amazing your kid is and you will never understand how his own father can choose not to be his biggest fan and supporter. Hang in there.

A 3 year old is better off without that guy. Try coparenting with a closet alcoholic and batterer. Fun times.

I'm confused.

So you are missing the 3rd birthday? These are your options:
1) man up, grow a pair, and be a father to this child
2) explain to this 3 year old why you can be a father to this one
3) explain to a grown man why you weren't here
I'd go with one or 2 because he'll be big and strong and you'll be very old by then AND broke.
Vent over. Thanks all for you patience.