Anonymous
Post 07/27/2014 09:52     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Anonymous wrote:Not my situation, but if it were, I'd think of it as consciousness raising -- teaching people something they didn't - but should - know about their religion.
Diversity is something people are faced with more and more these days. It's about time they recognize it in religion too.

Don't think of it as discrimination - just ignorance - and the next time it happens, inform them of what your religion is. Otherwise, you're passively contributing the the ignorance yourself.


OP here, I don't want this role for my kids.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 19:38     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
There are black Jews, Asian Jews, Persian Jews. I think you see these kinds of questioning looks in Reform Judaism, which claims to be welcoming but it's on their terms.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 19:30     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Anonymous wrote:Our decision to raise DC in X religion has a lot to do with trying to avoid "But you don't look Y!" comments. Grandparents on the Y religion side still don't understand despite the numerous nasty comments about people of a different race from within that community.


You could raise them as humanists
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 18:05     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Our decision to raise DC in X religion has a lot to do with trying to avoid "But you don't look Y!" comments. Grandparents on the Y religion side still don't understand despite the numerous nasty comments about people of a different race from within that community.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 18:02     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have this experience-- I am a minority and Jewish (converted-- over 10 years) and my kids are Jewish and biracial (and do not "look" Jewish). We have yet to start Sunday school so we'll see how that goes. I definitely get a second look at synagogues and it does get old. It's interesting what people feel like they can say when they are in a "comfortable" place.


I know what you mean, but it kind of is what it is, you know? I am Jewish, not minority, but I have a very non-Jewish first and last name. So from the Jews I constantly get "are you really Jewish? I mean were you born Jewish?" and from the non-Jews I get "I didn't know you were Jewish!" (And that's sometimes accompanied by a flick of the eyes as they quickly review anything they might have said in the past that could be offensive, which there usually isn't, thankfully.) Of course for me it's not obvious from my appearance so I don't get these responses unless I introduce myself (to Jews at Jewish functions) or it comes up somehow (to non-Jews), but if it's annoying for me, it must be much more so for you.

For what it's worth, there was an AA girl in my Hebrew school class when I was a kid -- I don't know if she was biracial or adopted or if her parents converted, or what. I did once hear a kid tell her she wasn't really Jewish, or didn't look Jewish, and the teacher shut that down fast. No one ever said anything like that again and as far as I could tell she participated as fully as any other kid. (Which wasn't much, since we all hated Hebrew school and resented having to be there, but that's another battle ...)


The Jews are one of those groups who don't actively convert people -- in fact, in my experience, they discourage people from converting.

The conversion usually goes in the other direction -- from Jew to something else (usually Christian) -- either willingly/secretively, to avoid discrimination (e.g., Madeline Albright's family) or unwillingly (e.g., the Inquisition)
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 16:30     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Anonymous wrote:I have this experience-- I am a minority and Jewish (converted-- over 10 years) and my kids are Jewish and biracial (and do not "look" Jewish). We have yet to start Sunday school so we'll see how that goes. I definitely get a second look at synagogues and it does get old. It's interesting what people feel like they can say when they are in a "comfortable" place.


I know what you mean, but it kind of is what it is, you know? I am Jewish, not minority, but I have a very non-Jewish first and last name. So from the Jews I constantly get "are you really Jewish? I mean were you born Jewish?" and from the non-Jews I get "I didn't know you were Jewish!" (And that's sometimes accompanied by a flick of the eyes as they quickly review anything they might have said in the past that could be offensive, which there usually isn't, thankfully.) Of course for me it's not obvious from my appearance so I don't get these responses unless I introduce myself (to Jews at Jewish functions) or it comes up somehow (to non-Jews), but if it's annoying for me, it must be much more so for you.

For what it's worth, there was an AA girl in my Hebrew school class when I was a kid -- I don't know if she was biracial or adopted or if her parents converted, or what. I did once hear a kid tell her she wasn't really Jewish, or didn't look Jewish, and the teacher shut that down fast. No one ever said anything like that again and as far as I could tell she participated as fully as any other kid. (Which wasn't much, since we all hated Hebrew school and resented having to be there, but that's another battle ...)
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 16:25     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Muslima wrote:I don't think there should be a "typical look'' for a religion. However, as you have noticed a lot of people like to judge and discriminate based on how you look or what they think you should look/do. You should just ignore them and teach your kids that they are an integral part of that faith and make them feel as comfortable as can be so that they grow up with a tough skin and feeling part of the religion even if they look "different", or maybe find other members who look like them so they don't feel so alone


Christians and muslims come in just about any ethnicity because of their long history of converting people through proselytizing or conquest. Religions that haven’t actively engaged in those kinds of conversion techniques though the centuries don't have much ethnic diversity, so of course members of those religions are surprised to see people with the same beliefs who look different. I wouldn't call it discrimination, just surprise.
Muslima
Post 07/26/2014 15:05     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
I don't think there should be a "typical look'' for a religion. However, as you have noticed a lot of people like to judge and discriminate based on how you look or what they think you should look/do. You should just ignore them and teach your kids that they are an integral part of that faith and make them feel as comfortable as can be so that they grow up with a tough skin and feeling part of the religion even if they look "different", or maybe find other members who look like them so they don't feel so alone
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 13:49     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
I have this experience-- I am a minority and Jewish (converted-- over 10 years) and my kids are Jewish and biracial (and do not "look" Jewish). We have yet to start Sunday school so we'll see how that goes. I definitely get a second look at synagogues and it does get old. It's interesting what people feel like they can say when they are in a "comfortable" place.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 13:27     Subject: Re:When you are not the typical member of a religion
I am sorry you and DC experience that kind of ignorance. Religion seems like it should be welcoming to everyone given the concept of its origin. But sadly some people destroy the ideal to cater to their own needs. But guess what? They are forgiven. Imagine that.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 13:23     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not my situation, but if it were, I'd think of it as consciousness raising -- teaching people something they didn't - but should - know about their religion.


It shouldn't be her/his job to educate the masses … that gets old … fast.


No, it's not his/her JOB, but if OP wants to see change, that's a way to work toward it.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2014 12:58     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Anonymous wrote:Not my situation, but if it were, I'd think of it as consciousness raising -- teaching people something they didn't - but should - know about their religion.


It shouldn't be her/his job to educate the masses … that gets old … fast.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2014 15:19     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
It's probably pretty frustrating to be a minority within one's religion. I know there's a group called Bechol Lashon for Jews of color. Every congregation and religious group should be welcoming, but it's probably nice to worship or gather from time to time in a place where you don't stick out.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2014 11:05     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
Not my situation, but if it were, I'd think of it as consciousness raising -- teaching people something they didn't - but should - know about their religion.

Diversity is something people are faced with more and more these days. It's about time they recognize it in religion too.

Don't think of it as discrimination - just ignorance - and the next time it happens, inform them of what your religion is. Otherwise, you're passively contributing the the ignorance yourself.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2014 10:31     Subject: When you are not the typical member of a religion
How does that feel.

My kids are not the typical look for their religion and the dumb cooments are a bit much. I sometimes feel sorry for them. I think they might walk away from it when they are grown up because of this.

Just the other day, I heard a woman talking about a camp that her kids enjoyed. I asked her what it was called, but before she answered, she said "It is a camp for ---". Then I asked again for the name and she reluctantly told me. My kids are a member of that religion, but I did not tell her.
It is discrimmination within your own group, and must be annoying.

So, if you are blonde and Muslim, Black and Jewish or Mormon, Hispanic and Episcopalian, does the surprise from others wear you out?