What state? Call police. Report to head manager (who may just be an employee - there may be a board above). Call your state's health department and find out where in your state you file a complaint against the nursing home. Then start checking out the home's reputation via the state records, Yelp, here, online, BBB, etc. You may want to move your mom pronto. I went through nine years of this and discovered even with expensive in-home care 24/7 people, some of them have not been trained in even the basics, such as the Heimlech maneuver. You need to be her eyes and ears. It's hard, I know, to be everywhere at once.

OP, once you have a new person assigned to care for your GM, develop a "relationship" with her or him. Bring cupcakes, gift cards, etc (whatever they are allowed to take) for any more or less appropriate occasion.
Talk to him or her.
It does make a difference (as I see in my kid's daycare). No abuse, of course, but subtle difference is there...

Where are you and where is your grandmother? How much care does she need? (Could she live in someone's home, anyone's home, or does she need skilled nursing care?)

OP, I am sorry for your grandmother and you. I was the primary person who took care of my grandmother when she was in assisted living and it sounds like you are doing all the right things. You have to remain vigilant. I have a small family and was the primary visitor and caregiver. I made friends with the gals at the front desk and would constantly call and check in because I couldn't always be there either.

This is terrible - I hope everything works out and you can move her to a better place closer to you or I hope that person is dismissed tomorrow! Good luck, OP. This is making me teary eyed and I'll be thinking of you and your grandmother and wishing you well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting this off your chest?? WTF -- call the police. Are you that dense?

Done already before I posted.

I should add, it is the emotional aspect I am struggling with here. Knowing she has been dealing with this and going through this daily and I didn't protect her.

I would feel the same way. I read somewhere that residents who had visitors were less likely to be abused. I already posted this but make sure they know you are complaining. Tell them you won't allow that one particular worker in her room. That will probably help a lot of other residents too.

She has about 4 family visits per week however they can be nice to you when there and horrid once you leave. I just wish I had asked my grandmother more questions and made her tell me why she disliked this woman so much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting this off your chest?? WTF -- call the police. Are you that dense?

Done already before I posted.

Good. I would make a huge stink at the facility too -- make sure they know you do not approve of how they are treating her. Can you bring her to your house until you figure this out?

I also immediately emailed the facility director and asked that the specific person not be allowed near my grandmother for the time being and that the lift in question not be used (there is a far more appropriate lift to use as she is non weight bearing). The lift they were using was for people who weight bear.

I unfortunately can not bring her to my place as I have stairs and am gone during the day however I did put a call into another LTC right near my home and I want to go see it tomorrow and see if I can move her. I know many places have issues due to underpaid staff and being short staffed. But I feel sick even leaving her there now. The nurse on as of midnight is an absolute gem so I will call her once she is on, not sure what she can do but at least put up a sign telling the workers what lift to use.

As this happened after office hours, i will have to deal with it in the morning - all I could do tonight was leave messages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting this off your chest?? WTF -- call the police. Are you that dense?

Done already before I posted.

I should add, it is the emotional aspect I am struggling with here. Knowing she has been dealing with this and going through this daily and I didn't protect her.

I would feel the same way. I read somewhere that residents who had visitors were less likely to be abused. I already posted this but make sure they know you are complaining. Tell them you won't allow that one particular worker in her room. That will probably help a lot of other residents too.

Talk to the head of staff at the facility immediately about what you saw. Tell her you are reporting the incident to authorities. Investigate other options for care. In the meantime insist that the nurse who injured her not be allowed to care for her anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting this off your chest?? WTF -- call the police. Are you that dense?

Done already before I posted.

Good. I would make a huge stink at the facility too -- make sure they know you do not approve of how they are treating her. Can you bring her to your house until you figure this out?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting this off your chest?? WTF -- call the police. Are you that dense?

Done already before I posted.

I should add, it is the emotional aspect I am struggling with here. Knowing she has been dealing with this and going through this daily and I didn't protect her.

Anonymous wrote:The care worker shouldn't be lifting her alone. This should be a two person job. You could complain to the management but most of these places cut corners/staff so there probably aren't enough staff.

I would speak to her doctor about the pain. It doesn't sound like she's being abused; it sounds like physically she's fragile and she shouldn't be living in pain.

The care worker wasn't lifting her, the lift was lifting her. It was how she was (wrongly) positioned in the lift that was causing 100% of the pain at that moment. Was the pain exacerbated by preexisting conditions - absolutely. All the more reason to not cause her additional pain.

Anonymous wrote:You are getting this off your chest?? WTF -- call the police. Are you that dense?

Done already before I posted.

The care worker shouldn't be lifting her alone. This should be a two person job. You could complain to the management but most of these places cut corners/staff so there probably aren't enough staff.

I would speak to her doctor about the pain. It doesn't sound like she's being abused; it sounds like physically she's fragile and she shouldn't be living in pain.

You are getting this off your chest?? WTF -- call the police. Are you that dense?

Tonight I witnessed a situation that made me sick to my stomach. My grandmother is in a long term care home and has been there for 10+ years. Until a year or so ago she was fairly independent and able to do her own care. Over the last years she has lost much of that independence and in the last few months she has been unable to transfer herself and required mechanical assistance (Staff using a lift). My grandmother is a staunch stoic woman who does not complain. She has been telling me the lift is very uncomfortable and asked me to come in every night and put her to bed myself. Unfortunately that isn't possible and I am only there typically one evening a week (I live 2 hours form her). There is also one staff worker who she states very clearly she doesn't like however she hasn't stated why. My grandmother can be quite opinionated so I figured they had clashed.

Tonight I saw this worker use the lift completely inappropriately in a way that put my grandmother in an extremely painful position, forcing her joints into unnatural and painful positions and having her entire body weight hanging from her arms. She already has severe osteoarthrities and she can't even move her arms into the position they were forced into. As soon as the lift put her entire body weight onto her arms she began to cry out in pain, and saying ow, stop, its hurting, and she sounded like a wounded animal - it was like she was being tortured. I immediately asked her to get her out as it was obviously extremely painful and the worker basically just looked and me and told me no one likes the lift and that she leaves her hanging like this while she provides care (probably 5+ minutes). I became very agitated and so to appease me, she lowered her back down.

I can't believe that has been happening every night. I feel like throwing up. That my frail little old grandmother has been hanging in agony for 5+ minutes a night and perhaps at other times when she is transferred with someone causing that pain and being totally indifferent to her cries of pain.

A month or so ago another resident at the LTC came to me and told me that she thought my grandmother was being abused and that she often hears her crying out in pain and saying please stop and you are hurting me. I am assuming it is whenever she was being hung like this. I tried to follow up on it then but my grandmother wouldn't say anything and I couldn't get details and it was brushed aside. I did file an official complain but have yet to even hear back.

Anyways, I guess this is a more off my chest post as I am somewhat wracked with guilt and sick that this has been happening to her. She is so vulnerable.