Anonymous wrote:Niece's wedding ceremony at the morning service (10). Dinner and dancing from 6 p.m to 10 p.m. that evening. So two nights in a hotel with 3 small children. Would you go? Is there a polite way to refuse?

Is this normal to spread this out this way?

I am confident your niece did not want this to be the schedule - rather it was probably the only time she could get the chuch. Put yourself in her shoes for a second.
Do you think she said to herself - I really want to get up on my wedding day at 5AM so I can get my hair and make-up done and be ready to walk down the aisle at 10AM?
Then let met hang out for 7 hours and start the party at 6PM?

Anonymous wrote:The spread out is not the problem. Kids are clearly not invited to the reception. As others have said, it's doable to attend the ceremony, sightsee during the day, and then you and DH go to the reception. But if there's no one to watch your kids that evening, then it's impossible for you to go.

This is really it. Although I think the schedule is strange and irritating. Even if I was single, I'd rather have the whole day to do whatever, and the wedding and the reception together in the evening. Sure, you can sightsee or something, but you either have to go back to your hotel and change and then go back to change again in the evening, or walk around all day in your dressy clothes. Sounds like a pain.

Unless you're really close to your niece, I'd just decline and send a nice gift.

For my niece I would go to both, but I'd be annoyed by the schedule of it too.

Of course you can refuse. I refuse wedding invitations all the time now that I have small children. It's not as easy as it used to be, and I send a nice gift.

The spread out is not the problem. Kids are clearly not invited to the reception. As others have said, it's doable to attend the ceremony, sightsee during the day, and then you and DH go to the reception. But if there's no one to watch your kids that evening, then it's impossible for you to go.

In your shoes, if you can't find babysitting in the city then you should go to the wedding by yourself and everyone else stays home.

Guys, this is family. Not some work associates kid!

I can't imagine skipping out on a close family member like a neice's wedding because it is too inconvenient.

Either go to it all or don't go and stay home.

The out of town aspect makes it very easy to decide.

Make sure kids are invited. It might be a no children wedding.

If you don't want to go, you don't have to go. You can politely decline, or consider some of the options listed above.

Go to the morning ceremony.
Change, visit something the kids will enjoy.
Go back to the hotel and get the kids good and tired at the pool.
Leave the kids with a babysitter and some pizza in hotel.
Go have fun.

I've gone to weddings like this, and they're fun. You go in the morning, go see something nice in the city you're visiting during the day, and go the party in the evening. However, I was single and childless.

Like any other invitation, if it doesn't work for you, you decline. But if you have other family members with kids, it could be time to meet up and hang out with them. Throw all the kids in the hotel pool in the afternoon. They can all nap before the evening event.

No. People are weird. Are you supposed to get all dressed up in the morning and then wait around for 6 hours? I hardly imagine you can do something fun with three young kids and get all of them dressed up (and you showered and dressed again) in that window.

Hotel? So this is not local? I'd skip and send a nice gift. Unless you are really really close or want to see other family for some reason.

I'd consider just the morning ceremony.

Go to one or the other, not both,

Niece's wedding ceremony at the morning service (10). Dinner and dancing from 6 p.m to 10 p.m. that evening. So two nights in a hotel with 3 small children. Would you go? Is there a polite way to refuse?

Is this normal to spread this out this way?