I'm sure that violates occupancy and fire code regulations. Hopefully "someone" will report you. It will be hell. So divorce or let it go. Naps in stroller during the day; get DH to help during the night.

Cramming this many people in is illegal - honestly. There are occupancy standards for hotels / condos . The building may not enforce it, but it sure would be embarrassing if someone caught on. Would your DH care about that? (Also OP - I'm sure you have some leverage in your marriage, right? Or are you just expected to do everything your husbsnd says? Because - even if uncomfortable to do - you really have to put your foot down about this. If you can't , then divorce may not be a bad idea. Is this how you want to be treated for the rest of your life?)

How are all if those people going to use two bathrooms? That's going to get messy fast. I would tell my husband he's welcome to go but I'm staying home. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:I wish I was joking! OP here. I am telling you, I cannot book a room. My husband would completely lose it and so would his family. All of the daughter in laws think this is nuts but as is typical in a patriarchal, male dominated (South Asian) family, the guys are dictating terms here.

I think you have a bigger problem than a couple of days in a cramped condo at the beach. Where will you draw the line at having to take the advice of your in-laws? Your family may defer to elders, but US Society (and the occupancy rules of the condo association) will hold you and your husband responsible for the outcomes for your nuclear family.

Ugh--you need to get the SILs on your side as a united front.

Either that, or somehow contact the fire Marshall or something. 13 sounds like some sort of safety issue.

OP here. Yes, we are all South Asian - his family is from India. I was born in the US but am of Indian ancestry. His parents are extremely frugal and they set the tone for most gatherings.

We are all in our late 30s, early 40s. His parents are 62 and 63. The other kids are 11, 9, 9 and 6. DD is 3.

I guess I will have to drive DD around for her naps!

Sorry, 5:37 here again. OP, are you also South Asian? Where is DH's family from exactly?

^^5:37 PP

PP here. That is hellish. I'm not sure what's worse: sharing a room with another couple and their kids, or having to sleep out in the open living room on a pull-out. I'm guessing at least some kids will be bunking on the living room floor as well.

How old are you and your husband? I agree his parents will get the comfy king bed!

Your choice is just rebel or else decide that you will be in hunker-down survival mode and expect zero comfort. Focus on trying to make it fun for the kids. If you have to have your child nap in the car while you drive around, that might be an option. If the whole thing is a disaster, then you'll be able to rent a hotel room next time. And long in the future, you will remember this crazy weekend where everyone was crammed together and hopefully laugh about it.

Drive the kid around in the car for nap, and just accept that sleep will be messed up when you get home. My sympathies. I will never understand why people cram so many people into such small spaces.

Book a room. Let your DH lose it. Drag Jim to therapy if necessary. That sounds insane and miserable and I would not go or allow my child to go. It would be one thing if you were excited and your child could go with the flow, but it sounds like that's not the case. I'm not sure what you expect us to say, but it sounds like you are long overdue to stand up to your DH and his family.

I wish I was joking! OP here. I am telling you, I cannot book a room. My husband would completely lose it and so would his family. All of the daughter in laws think this is nuts but as is typical in a patriarchal, male dominated (South Asian) family, the guys are dictating terms here.

I have no idea how this will work. One room has 2 full beds and the other has a king bed. The living room has a pull out sofa. That's it. Because we are supposed to defer to the elders, I'm sure his parents will take the king bed. How everyone else gets shuffled is beyond me.

I really don't want to go! What could be a fun trip is turning into a major point of discomfort for me. I mean, why not make this enjoyable for all? Instead of being cheap? Oh that's right, that s how H's family operates.

PP. Meant to say that your DH is welcome to stay with his brother. Make it clear that you're not trying to take him away, just trying to look out for your child.

Is this a joke post?? How does the brother propose to organize the sleeping arrangements??

Put your foot down and book a hotel room in that building. Use your child as the excuse. Your sisters-in-law will be thrilled and the non-host SIL may take courage to do the same.

How crazy is this? DH's brother owns a condo at the beach - it is a 2 bedroom/ 2 bath.His entire family is going on a beach trip for 3 days/2 nights and we are all cramming into this place. That's his parents, his 2 brothers, their wives and 2 kids each and us and our kid. Our kid still naps so I have no idea how this is going to work. Though the condo is in a hotel building, the brothers refuse to get a hotel room because "it takes away from the family trip". I'm pretty sure having 3 unhappy wives will do that too.

Any tips on how to handle this? I can't refuse to go. I can't book a room for myself. These are just not options if I want to remain married. I'm really most concerned about the fact that the bedrooms are directly adjacent to the living area and our kid is a light sleeper. So while I don't mind to push her bedtime on vacation, she will be unable to sleep with his loud family up until all hours. And same goes for naps.

Help!