I was raised Episcopalian (baptized as infant) and DH was raised Southern Baptist (baptized as young adult). DC is not baptized, they can be baptized when/IF they decide that they want to. We are raising her in a church.
"We discussed and we feel strongly that this is an individual commitment, and LO can make that decision for themselves, that way it has more meaning to them." End of discussion.

I'm an atheist and was raised Catholic. I wouldn't do it. The parents and godparents promises to raise the child as a Catholic and promise to "renounce Satan" during baptism. Unless you mean it when you say it, don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:Baptizing doesn't necessarily say you are going to raise your child in that religion. All Christian religions recognize the same baptism so it really only is saying your child is Christian -- not any one denomination.

Don't know if this helps you or not. . . .

This is absolutely not true.

Parents take vows at baptism, promising to raise their child in the Christian faith. Not specific to the denomination necessarily, but you make promises before God and the congregation. Sort of like your wedding vows.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baptizing doesn't necessarily say you are going to raise your child in that religion. All Christian religions recognize the same baptism so it really only is saying your child is Christian -- not any one denomination.

Don't know if this helps you or not. . . .

Except if they don't even want to agree to identify their child as Christian, then that's a problem.

OP, I'm Catholic and my children are baptized but I wholly support your decision not to if it doesn't align with your beliefs and the way you will raise your child. I can almost guarantee this will turn into a 5pg thread, since it does every time the topic is raised, with some advocating that you let the ceremony happen even though it's meaningless to you. Personally I find that disrespectful to the people in the faith that you are committing your child to.

Thanks, PP, I appreciate hearing that. I hope this thread doesn't get crazy because I'm not trying to get into any arguments - just wanted to hear what others' experiences are. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Anonymous wrote:Baptizing doesn't necessarily say you are going to raise your child in that religion. All Christian religions recognize the same baptism so it really only is saying your child is Christian -- not any one denomination.

Don't know if this helps you or not. . . .

Except if they don't even want to agree to identify their child as Christian, then that's a problem.

OP, I'm Catholic and my children are baptized but I wholly support your decision not to if it doesn't align with your beliefs and the way you will raise your child. I can almost guarantee this will turn into a 5pg thread, since it does every time the topic is raised, with some advocating that you let the ceremony happen even though it's meaningless to you. Personally I find that disrespectful to the people in the faith that you are committing your child to.

I would not do it.

Heck, my own mother is religious, but when it came time for me to be baptized (our church did it when the child was old enough to choose for themselves), I had doubts and didn't do it. My mom, to her credit, has always respected my freedom to choose my own path/religion. I'm a non-believer now, too.

Baptizing doesn't necessarily say you are going to raise your child in that religion. All Christian religions recognize the same baptism so it really only is saying your child is Christian -- not any one denomination.

Don't know if this helps you or not. . . .

OP here. DH and I agree, though he doesn't care as much as I do about it -- but he's got my back on it.

I would let DH deal with your MIL on this. If he wants to baptise, then you and he need to work it out.

How does your DH want to handle it?

I don't think you have to baptize, but my religion does not say this has to be done as a baby, in fact it is supposed to be done when the child is old enough to make a conscious choice.

Maybe explain you would like your child to have the choice to choose for themselves? Although I doubt this will be popular.

DH is a little religious and I take an agnostic "I don't know what's next and I'm ok with that" approach to religion. My parents are strict Catholics but have laid off the baptism discussion for a while now. In the end, it's really your choice. MIL can kick and scream all she wants. It's not even worth a discussion with her because she's probably never going to see your side. The older people get, the less likely they're going to change. Avoid the topic. Really, you don't even owe her a discussion here. She had her children and did what she wanted to do for them. Now it's her son's turn and your turn. In my own situation, I didn't back down and if I do baptize my kid it will be my own choice, not my parents'.

Anonymous wrote:I'd maybe just look the other way and let MIL baptize the baby herself (in the bathroom sink kind of thing). I understand how MIL would feel if a baby were not baptized b/c I am religious (Catholic, if it matters) as well. At least let her do it as a -- "just do it just in case type of thing!"

OP here. I've thought about that, and I'm still just not comfortable with it. DH and I want to make sure that we're the ones making decisions for our child and establish boundaries early on that front.

I'd maybe just look the other way and let MIL baptize the baby herself (in the bathroom sink kind of thing). I understand how MIL would feel if a baby were not baptized b/c I am religious (Catholic, if it matters) as well. At least let her do it as a -- "just do it just in case type of thing!"

I'm a non-believer and DH is a go-to-church-on-Christmas-only-because-it's-important-to-my-mom kind of Christian. MIL is religious and is very involved with her church (my own family identifies as Christian, but they don't attend any formal church or anything). MIL's church practices infant baptism. I do not want to baptize my baby because I am not ok with vowing to raise him in the ways of any particular church. I'd rather him be exposed to faiths/religion in a less formal manner and allow him to choose or not choose religion when he's older.

Has anyone been in this situation? If so, how did you handle the conversations with the religious family members who believe that babies need to be saved by baptism? Did you just end up as the "heathen woman who doesn't believe in God" or did they understand your desire to raise a respectful, moral, well-rounded child but outside of religious structures - or somewhere in between? (For what it's worth, I am totally supportive of every parent's decision to raise their child in their own religion, so please don't think I'm religion-bashing. It's just not the choice for me and not the one I want to make at infancy for my child.)

Thoughts?