OP, most of us parents are a tad nervous about sending our 17 or 18 year olds to college. It is normal, I think, but it is usually the case that kids this age are smarter than we give them credit for. Also, for what it's worth, most colleges provide a bit of a safety net for students compared to that they'll find once they are out in the real world. Campus police, the student health center, the counseling center, rape crisis center, etc. are there to help. The primary responsibility still rests with the student, of course, but there's some back up. Also, I agree that kids by college age should be able to look out for one another. Lastly, parents are available by phone, internet, etc. for emergencies. Hopefully our kids will come to us if they are really in trouble.

At the end of the day you cannot eliminate all of the risks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if your child is a normal 17 or 18 year old, he or she will have friends who do care whether he or she makes it back to the dorm, stops eating, etc.

My friends in college took better care of me than my mother ever did.

What were your parents preoccupied with?

The neglect was largely from my mom. She had health issues but mostly just distracted by her telenovela/Greek tragedy of a divorce from my cheating dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we have to point fingers back at the parents for whether or not their kids are responsible enough. I graduated college 6 years ago and the kids who were the most unprepared were the kids whose parents helicoptered and were over protective therefor not letting the kid learn responsibility or independence

...or "natural consequences"?

Ah yes, that was the other phrase I was thinking of. You either had kids who were so naive it was scary or so dependent on others they couldn't function on their own.

Mine are in college in three different states. I worry about a lot of things, but not their safety. These are not children. They are young adults.

Either you are over anxious and infantalizing your DC or your DC isn't ready for college.

At some point they live without a chaperone.

Safe for MY kid: yes
Safe for ALL kids: no
Safe for YOUR kid: probably not, based on your question

Anonymous wrote:Actually, if your child is a normal 17 or 18 year old, he or she will have friends who do care whether he or she makes it back to the dorm, stops eating, etc.

My friends in college took better care of me than my mother ever did.

What were your parents preoccupied with?

I put my 16 yr old on a campus across the country. Worked out fine, probably because she was given bursts of independence all through high school.

What's your question?

Actually, if your child is a normal 17 or 18 year old, he or she will have friends who do care whether he or she makes it back to the dorm, stops eating, etc.

My friends in college took better care of me than my mother ever did.

Anonymous wrote:I think we have to point fingers back at the parents for whether or not their kids are responsible enough. I graduated college 6 years ago and the kids who were the most unprepared were the kids whose parents helicoptered and were over protective therefor not letting the kid learn responsibility or independence

...or "natural consequences"?

I think we have to point fingers back at the parents for whether or not their kids are responsible enough. I graduated college 6 years ago and the kids who were the most unprepared were the kids whose parents helicoptered and were over protective therefor not letting the kid learn responsibility or independence

Funny, we all managed to do it.

Yes...safe, and a great experience (for most.)

No one there cares much about their basic safety, if they return to their dorm room at night, or not.

Fewer and fewer kids are prepared to cope with that degree of responsibility.