Anonymous wrote:So wait - everyone you engage with finds you offensive and inconsiderate? And you think the problem lies with them?

Some of us at track the clingy needy people more than others. I've since learned to disengage much sooner once I see the red flags but I used to get more of it because I always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt when they started acting crazy. People with abandment issues seek out those who make themselves available for this sort of drama. It doesn't mean OP is rude; she may just not be handling it well and needs to be firmer with boundaries so as to not attract the energy vampires.

I try to avoid these people at all cost. I personally, never assume someone is trying to offend me. If someone says something that is "questionable" I just chalk it up to being raised in a different culture, coming from a different family dynamic etc. I think how something is said vice what is said is a much more important.

Anonymous wrote:
And not just in families, but friends, acquaintances, colleagues...

It's a touchy world out there!

professional offense takers. Like they have antennae always sniffing, twitching ready to detect some ting to take offense about.

Anonymous wrote:So wait - everyone you engage with finds you offensive and inconsiderate? And you think the problem lies with them?

+1000

Oh, you mean my mother. Yeah, run.

Anonymous wrote:So wait - everyone you engage with finds you offensive and inconsiderate? And you think the problem lies with them?

LOL no. I was referring to one specific person who seems to having problems with everyone.

So wait - everyone you engage with finds you offensive and inconsiderate? And you think the problem lies with them?

OP here.

You're right.

Initially I used to feel bad, like how was I doing all this horrible stuff? How was I so oblivious and inconsiderate. But then it just kept going and getting bigger and spreading to other people and I feel like I'm constantly engaging with people who are living in a parallel universe. A parallel universe of CRAZY.

I just don't know what to do. I want things to get better. I want to give perspective and advice. But you're right, I guess it's better not to engage. It's sad.

Anonymous wrote:Just don't feed the monster. Don't engage with the complaining and guilt-tripping.

Family member=FM
FM: I can't believe how rude the waiter is at this restaurant. And these rolls are stale.
You: So do you think the Nats will go all the way this year?

Or
FM: Why didn't you call me? It's like you just don't care.
You: My phone battery died.
FM: But you could have done something more!
You: So do you think the Nats will go all the way this year?

+1 keep it positive and don't engage the negative. Sometimes a "hm", head nod and change of subject is the most appropriate response.

Just don't feed the monster. Don't engage with the complaining and guilt-tripping.

Family member=FM
FM: I can't believe how rude the waiter is at this restaurant. And these rolls are stale.
You: So do you think the Nats will go all the way this year?

Or
FM: Why didn't you call me? It's like you just don't care.
You: My phone battery died.
FM: But you could have done something more!
You: So do you think the Nats will go all the way this year?

This is my brother. I ignore him and don't visit unless I have to.

And not just in families, but friends, acquaintances, colleagues...

It's a touchy world out there!

This my sister in law. We just don't get along.

And you really just want to get along. How do you deal?