YES! Mine is 16. Great kid but where did the sweetness go?

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a phase that many kids go through. Maybe boys more than girls?

FWIW, my brother was this way from age 12-16. Fully functioning and engaged with the rest of the world, but sullen, angry, antisocial, and withdrawn at home. We'd always been very close, but he was often hard to be around during that period.

Happily, he started coming out of it towards the end of HS and really bloomed in college. No signs of that sullen teenager since then. He's really a joy!

Not the OP, but this is a wonderful story.

Many times your teen doesn't even know him/herself anymore. Some struggle more than others to find their identity and they may pull back in order to do so.
This book was recommended to me:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Help-My-Teenager-Alien-Situation/dp/0718149718

Can be a sign of drug use.

Defiantly! I have 2 teens 1 preteen 1 child at home. My 2 older ones are defiantly like this.

The HS counselor at our school said boys will pull away at this age and seek independence.

The parents should allow it but not take it personally. They should find ways to connect to your child on a regular basis. Shoot hoops, go to a baseball game, go to a Star Wars convention ... Or whatever it is. Show interest but don't stalk them. Keep a connection that is real.

They will come around eventually. But eventually the will be men with their own families and we will not and should not be their focus.

He said it more eloquently... And it took him 20 minutes... But it was interesting.

I started that phase and never grew out of it. Not close at all with my parents.

I think it's a phase that many kids go through. Maybe boys more than girls?

FWIW, my brother was this way from age 12-16. Fully functioning and engaged with the rest of the world, but sullen, angry, antisocial, and withdrawn at home. We'd always been very close, but he was often hard to be around during that period.

Happily, he started coming out of it towards the end of HS and really bloomed in college. No signs of that sullen teenager since then. He's really a joy!

My 14 year is old is definitely not the same happy go lucky kid of 3 or 4 years ago. I was going through some pictures recently and all his pictures from baby up until 12ish years old were of the kind where the kid is cheezing and posing for the camera. The more recent ones are starkly different, most of the smiles are those half smiles that look like smirks. He's not loosey goofy or smiley fun looking. He's serious/annoyed/angry/bored looking. Every once in a while I can manage a good picture but I have to explicitly say "no smirking, I want to see teeth"

I read, I think here on this board, that at around this age boys just stop talking. I finding this to be true. I am very much looking forward to this phase being over.

I hear you, and it often gets better when they hit their early 20s. My oldest son was almost unrecognizable (physically and in personality) from the sweet child I'd known since he was a baby. Sullen, secretive, angry, stubborn - it was pretty tough to think of him fondly, TBH. He's nearing the end of college now and I'm seeing a return of his best qualities. He's not the same little kid, but he's growing into a man I admire and respect. He's more open and lovable now. Believe it or not, being in his first romantic relationship has helped : )

I spend a lot of time with mine. I don't really want to play HORSE for two hours, but I do it because he'll stand in the driveway playing basketball and talking to me.

Hormones... it's like the wonderful baby that has reflux or is teething... Not the same.

The way he acts, the things he says, his attitude -- I just don't see him as the same person.

Older teen?? I'm starting to wonder who my 12-year-old is!

OP, was your DC communicative up to now? I'm wondering if there's a phase that has to start and end at some point but that WILL happen--the age is the only variable.

Anyone feel distant from their older teen?