Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here, unfortunately, money is a bit of an issue with us (more specifically, lack of). We just want to make sure we will be able to have the finances to give DS all that he needs for his future.

PP here. I have two boys on fetal alchool spectrum. With one, I knew early on though the doctors were not inclined to put a label on it until middle of elementary school. With the other, it blind sided me and we didn't see it until high school. I really don't find that I spend that much money because of it. It is going to limit them in the future in that I doubt one of them will go to college - the second I am not sure yet. I have paid for some therapy co-pays, tutoring and some summer school due to failing classes in school. If anything, it's more of a time suck in that I have a lot of school meetings (IEPs, meetings with teachers, etc.) and extra driving (summer school and therapy, which was only for one and that ended before he started kindergarten). But, I know that others have a very different experience. The most common thing I've seen others spend money on are tutors.

my mom drank when she was pregnant. It was the 60s. She also smoked. She wasn't an alcoholic and she was young (being young helps, imo). We were all both healthy but small (5 pounds). After that fine (more than fine). There is a level of alcohol that is ok, they just don't know what the level is which is why they say don't do it. I think temperament is MOST important. Intellectual capacity might determine professional possibilities, but it won't determine happiness or trouble. I'm not sure when temperament is set in stone, but I'd think by 7-9? So far his temperament sounds promising.

9:29 here. The learning issues really showed up around 2nd-3rd grade, when students are generally reading to learn instead of learning to read. Before that time, classroom activities were a lot more supported by the teachers.

If you do a lot of reading activities with him starting now, it'll not only help him later on regardless of whether or not he has FAS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the time our daughter was in kindergarten it became obvious that she had learning issues - she is probably of just average inherited intelligence and was diagnosed with a learning disability the summer after kindergarten. It is an expensive proposition hiring tutors for her to just keep up with her classmates but it didn't stop us from adopting her brother.

OP here, unfortunately, money is a bit of an issue with us (more specifically, lack of). We just want to make sure we will be able to have the finances to give DS all that he needs for his future.

I completely understand - the extra tutors are an expense. And the shuttling of DD to her added lessons is difficult. And we are doing this just to have her keep up with her peers.

Have you noticed any delays so far? Thinking back, we should have realized that DD was going to have learning issues by her lack of attention span. I would certainly have your child evaluated before embarking on another child simply due to the cost factor. Our DD will also need a private middle school and high school just so she isn't shuttled thru in a large public school.

Thank you! We haven't noticed any delays so far (and his teachers haven't either). His attention span seems normal to us and he listens really well. He's very laid back. Thanks so much for understanding. We would love to adopt again, but we just don't want to be scrimping for money and not being able to provide him with help like tutoring/private schools/etc. if he does end up needing it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, does your DD have any signs at all of FAS, such as low height or weight, medical problems, etc.? My son who was not diagnosed until much later is in the first percentile for height and weight, which is a significant indicator. It's been awhile since I've done any reading on it, but if I'm recalling correctly, anything below the tenth percentile can be associated with FAS.

No medical problems at all, except he is prone to eczema. He was actually on the high end of the percentiles, he was 10.6 pounds at birth, and his head was large, 99th percentile. He's evened out now and is around 60th percentile for height and weight, and 80th percentile for head (upon last pedi visit December of last year)

OP, does your DD have any signs at all of FAS, such as low height or weight, medical problems, etc.? My son who was not diagnosed until much later is in the first percentile for height and weight, which is a significant indicator. It's been awhile since I've done any reading on it, but if I'm recalling correctly, anything below the tenth percentile can be associated with FAS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the time our daughter was in kindergarten it became obvious that she had learning issues - she is probably of just average inherited intelligence and was diagnosed with a learning disability the summer after kindergarten. It is an expensive proposition hiring tutors for her to just keep up with her classmates but it didn't stop us from adopting her brother.

OP here, unfortunately, money is a bit of an issue with us (more specifically, lack of). We just want to make sure we will be able to have the finances to give DS all that he needs for his future.

I completely understand - the extra tutors are an expense. And the shuttling of DD to her added lessons is difficult. And we are doing this just to have her keep up with her peers.

Have you noticed any delays so far? Thinking back, we should have realized that DD was going to have learning issues by her lack of attention span. I would certainly have your child evaluated before embarking on another child simply due to the cost factor. Our DD will also need a private middle school and high school just so she isn't shuttled thru in a large public school.

Anonymous wrote:By the time our daughter was in kindergarten it became obvious that she had learning issues - she is probably of just average inherited intelligence and was diagnosed with a learning disability the summer after kindergarten. It is an expensive proposition hiring tutors for her to just keep up with her classmates but it didn't stop us from adopting her brother.

OP here, unfortunately, money is a bit of an issue with us (more specifically, lack of). We just want to make sure we will be able to have the finances to give DS all that he needs for his future.

Can show up later. For some, including my son, it doesn't show up until middle or even high school. My son is extremely bright, but really has some significant issues as a result of prenatal alcohol exposure. Also, some of us have noticed that when our kids lost their baby teeth and their adult teeth grew in, the facial signs of FAS were evident when they had not been in the past.

By the time our daughter was in kindergarten it became obvious that she had learning issues - she is probably of just average inherited intelligence and was diagnosed with a learning disability the summer after kindergarten. It is an expensive proposition hiring tutors for her to just keep up with her classmates but it didn't stop us from adopting her brother.

Anonymous wrote:Could show up once he hits school. That's what happened with my cousins - they looked fine physically but had a lot of learning difficulties.

How was it diagnosed that the disabilities were related to fas and not something else?

Anonymous wrote:Could show up once he hits school. That's what happened with my cousins - they looked fine physically but had a lot of learning difficulties.

OP here, this is what we are afraid of. We want to adopt again, but are afraid DS could end up needing so much extra care that maybe adding another child wouldn't be a good idea.

At what grade did your cousins start showing signs? Was it early, in K or 1st, or not until elementary?

Could show up once he hits school. That's what happened with my cousins - they looked fine physically but had a lot of learning difficulties.

Yes, I think we have a touch of it. For us, when there aren't facial features, you pretty much get blow off. They only look for classic features. They slapped an autism diagnosis on ours when I think there is much more to it.

My DS is almost 4 years old and is adopted. We know that the birth mother did drink and use drugs during pregnancy, but DS does not have any of the facial deformities associated with FAS. He was a super easy baby, and as a toddler seems very bright, is well behaved and very easy too.

If he does indeed have FAS or FASD, would we be seeing signs of it by now, or could it show up later?