Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 11. I remember my boy cousins (I'm about 9 years older than then) not being able to carry on a conversation from about 11 to 20, let alone say please or thank you. Boys are gross.

Signed,
mom of a 2 year old boy who will someday be gross

I just find this completely unacceptable

+1, who says things like that??? are you ten?

+1

SOME people will always excuse boys' bad behavior as "boys will be boys." It is unacceptable.

OP, continue to model good manners but don't expect your nephew to pick it up. You can do nothing because it's not your child. Perhaps your DH could speak to his sibling on another occasion, in a non confrontational manner.

I know when I was a teacher, I always modeled "please" and "thank You." You would think most of the kids today were raised in a barn....

Anonymous wrote:I know I can't do anything about my nephew but it is having an impact on my child. This is DH's family and short of limiting time with them I am really at a loss for what to do. We follow through with consequences and I just think it stinks that my nephew has no expectations.

When I'm in a position where another kid we can't get away from is negatively affecting DD's behavior, I pull her aside and talk to her about not sinking to that person's level, and challenging her to do better and do what she knows she's supposed to despite what's going on around her. If I have to keep reminding her we establish a signal so she's not getting embarrassed in front of others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 11. I remember my boy cousins (I'm about 9 years older than then) not being able to carry on a conversation from about 11 to 20, let alone say please or thank you. Boys are gross.

Signed,
mom of a 2 year old boy who will someday be gross

I just find this completely unacceptable

+1, who says things like that??? are you ten?

Intervening or correcting would technically be rude. So if you care about manners, that's completely off the table.

Myob except if it directly and only involves you. Ex. if he says "I want some chips" you can humorously say "That's interesting" and then give a significant pause. Then if he says please, humorously lavishly praise or react positively.

Myob

I make a point of saying "You're welcome" which usually prompts a belated "thank you."

You can't correct, but you can model.

Anonymous wrote:I know I can't do anything about my nephew but it is having an impact on my child. This is DH's family and short of limiting time with them I am really at a loss for what to do. We follow through with consequences and I just think it stinks that my nephew has no expectations.

Not your child...

Anonymous wrote:He's 11. I remember my boy cousins (I'm about 9 years older than then) not being able to carry on a conversation from about 11 to 20, let alone say please or thank you. Boys are gross.

Signed,
mom of a 2 year old boy who will someday be gross

I just find this completely unacceptable

I know I can't do anything about my nephew but it is having an impact on my child. This is DH's family and short of limiting time with them I am really at a loss for what to do. We follow through with consequences and I just think it stinks that my nephew has no expectations.

He's 11. I remember my boy cousins (I'm about 9 years older than then) not being able to carry on a conversation from about 11 to 20, let alone say please or thank you. Boys are gross.

Signed,
mom of a 2 year old boy who will someday be gross

My dd is 11. If she doesn't say please when asking for something she can't have it. If she doesn't say thank you *with eye contact* I make her give it back. Make sure you and dh are heavily modeling the manners you want used around you but otherwise since it's not your kid you can't do anything else.

It's not your kid.... I thought it would be about your child. So you are wanting to parent another adults child?

Myob.

My husband and I are on "vacation" with his family. Things have been really fine and he and I are able to go off and do our own thing. I am struggling with my SIL's son who is 11. He never says please, thank you, and appears to be unable to hold a simple conversation. His mother doesn't do anything to help him, which is driving his grandmother crazy. He plays on his IPad, watches tv, and not much else. My DH and I are committed to raising our child with manners and I am finding it really difficult not to intervene. I'm afraid I am going to say something and start a problem. So, am I being overly critical? He is 11.