Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!

Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.

I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.

LOL, if only life were that black and white! Family relationships are complicated. My family drives me up a wall, and I'm always glad to see them go when they leave, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them. Insisting they stay in a hotel just isn't practical at this stage of the game. We don't live all that close to a decent hotel, and anything remotely convenient is expensive. My siblings all have small children and I know it would be hard for them to all squeeze into one hotel room, even if they could afford it. Not to mention my kids LOVE the sleepovers with their cousins, and I think those relationships are important to foster. I also feel a strong sense of obligation/guilt, since my family members are not bad people, they're just annoying as shit. And I do love them. I could "be an adult" and refuse to have them, but that would be sad in its own way. Life is not so simple...

Seriously. Who are these people who refuse to see their annoying family? What next, giving up your children for adoption because they became super annoying teenagers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!

Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.

I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.

LOL, if only life were that black and white! Family relationships are complicated. My family drives me up a wall, and I'm always glad to see them go when they leave, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them. Insisting they stay in a hotel just isn't practical at this stage of the game. We don't live all that close to a decent hotel, and anything remotely convenient is expensive. My siblings all have small children and I know it would be hard for them to all squeeze into one hotel room, even if they could afford it. Not to mention my kids LOVE the sleepovers with their cousins, and I think those relationships are important to foster. I also feel a strong sense of obligation/guilt, since my family members are not bad people, they're just annoying as shit. And I do love them. I could "be an adult" and refuse to have them, but that would be sad in its own way. Life is not so simple...

Yes I burst into tears after telling my mother goodbye and leaving town. I think it's guilt because can't stand being around her and she doesn't realize it.

Of course, OP! You're totally normal. Try to have your mother over less often.

The only reason I have a good relationship with my mother is because the ocean is between us and we meet in person only a few days once a year. I can handle phone conversations, because I know all I have to do is hang up if she starts going crazy.

My father is here now and driving me nuts. He behaves more like a playmate then a grandfather and it drives me nuts. He also says the most riduculous things. For example my son is very handsome little guy. Friends and strangers alike comment on his looks. He has 2 tiny bumps on his face, probably from sunscreen and sweat and what does his grandfather say? "why does he have blemishes on his face?" I was so pissed. I said "obviously b/c I am a terrible parent". He has spent the past several days teaching my son how to wash his hands and body. B/c clearly I have never taught him these things. I know it may sound innocent enough but it never is w/ my father.

My son adores him so I allow the visits but more often than not I prefer to let his uncle pick him up and bring him to my parents in NY to avoid the stress so I don't have to deal with him.

Not sure I will cry on Wed but I will be relieved for sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!

Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.

I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.

NP here. I would love to not 'voluntarily' host my In-laws every month for 1-2 weeks. But they are retired and apparently have nothing better to do. So...we end up having them up. Luckily they are not as bad as most- but there are quite a few hassles that come along with it.

Holy shit.

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!

Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.

I don't get it, either. That's one of the things I love about being an adult! As much as possible, I do what makes me happy (i.e., if I'm at a boring movie or lecture, I can leave! If I don't want people to visit, I don't invite them! If I'm at a too-long party, I can go home!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had family in town for the past week. Some of them stayed with me, some of them stayed with members of my husband's family.

When I dropped the last of the 11 of them off at the airport yesterday, I actually cried tears of relief. Mostly it's my mother who stresses me out. I have issues with her and just get tense around her, and am much more comfortable having a relationship with her from a distance.

Anyway, I guess this is more of a vent -- has anyone else ever cried tears of relief after family members left? It doesn't help that my husband and I are introverts, so it was really hard for us to have people around constantly for a whole week.

11? I would die. That is way too many in one house for a week.

OP here -- only 2 of them stayed with me. It was still a lot of coordinating, driving around, etc. The rest were staying with in-laws for a big family event. Oh man, no way would I have 11 stay with me, though honestly I think some of them would have done it that way if I had allowed it!

Anonymous wrote:I have had family in town for the past week. Some of them stayed with me, some of them stayed with members of my husband's family.

When I dropped the last of the 11 of them off at the airport yesterday, I actually cried tears of relief. Mostly it's my mother who stresses me out. I have issues with her and just get tense around her, and am much more comfortable having a relationship with her from a distance.

Anyway, I guess this is more of a vent -- has anyone else ever cried tears of relief after family members left? It doesn't help that my husband and I are introverts, so it was really hard for us to have people around constantly for a whole week.

11? I would die. That is way too many in one house for a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!

Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.

I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.

NP here. I would love to not 'voluntarily' host my In-laws every month for 1-2 weeks. But they are retired and apparently have nothing better to do. So...we end up having them up. Luckily they are not as bad as most- but there are quite a few hassles that come along with it.

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain them in the future!

Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.

I agree with this. I would never voluntarily put myself through that. It's one of the perks of being an adult.

I get this. Was just at a family wedding in Las Vegas, and was completely thrilled when I had a delay (in ATL on my way back to DCA. Also, eat at One Flew Over. I can't believe it's in an airport!) on my way home. I was able to have a nice dinner ALONE and think about how glad I was that I don't have to see them again for a while.

Don't entertain them in the future!

Don't understand why people INTENTIONALLY make themselves miserable.

Yes. My mother comes every two weeks to visit the grandkids and "help" me. I am always so stressed while she is here that any assistance I receive from her is usually a draw at best and in negative territory most of the time.
My mother is a difficult person. She is seldom satisfied for more than a few minutes and I'm not sure I've seen her actually happy in the past two decades. She doesn't understand that we have chosen an easy going home life so that we can be highly active in work, school, and church. She sees a snapshot of our lives and thinks she sees the whole picture. I dread her coming and then feel guilty.
So, yes, I totally understand your tears of relief. I found it easier to insist we visit other people in the summer rather than hosting. That way, a specific short block can be scheduled with breaks to decompress. Sometimes, even running out the car because I "forgot something" is enough to get me through the remaining hour of a two-hour visit.
Don't beat yourself up!

I have had family in town for the past week. Some of them stayed with me, some of them stayed with members of my husband's family.

When I dropped the last of the 11 of them off at the airport yesterday, I actually cried tears of relief. Mostly it's my mother who stresses me out. I have issues with her and just get tense around her, and am much more comfortable having a relationship with her from a distance.

Anyway, I guess this is more of a vent -- has anyone else ever cried tears of relief after family members left? It doesn't help that my husband and I are introverts, so it was really hard for us to have people around constantly for a whole week.