Anonymous wrote:OP, if you have a nice time with the guys you're seeing, keep seeing them casually until you know one way or the other "yes, I want this guy in my life" or "nope, not a chance, uh-uh." And keep your options open on the online sites and when you're out.

there is some gray area between "keeping an open mind about someone" and "stringing someone along", so you have a little room before you're doing anything wrong. Also, someone you are kind of "meh" about at first might tell you something on the next date that makes them much more interesting and attractive to you. I literally met my daughter's dad twice and didn't remember him; the third time we were introduced at a party, I ended up talking to him the entire night. (and ended up dating him.) 6 years later, he's still one of the most interesting people I know; he just didn't "grab" me right away.

your daughter's dad? He's interesting but not interesting enough to marry? Huh?

OP, if you have a nice time with the guys you're seeing, keep seeing them casually until you know one way or the other "yes, I want this guy in my life" or "nope, not a chance, uh-uh." And keep your options open on the online sites and when you're out.

there is some gray area between "keeping an open mind about someone" and "stringing someone along", so you have a little room before you're doing anything wrong. Also, someone you are kind of "meh" about at first might tell you something on the next date that makes them much more interesting and attractive to you. I literally met my daughter's dad twice and didn't remember him; the third time we were introduced at a party, I ended up talking to him the entire night. (and ended up dating him.) 6 years later, he's still one of the most interesting people I know; he just didn't "grab" me right away.

OP
Goodness you folks are harsh. I'm acknowledging there might be an issue and struggling with whether this particular nice guy is just not the guy or if there is something going on with me that I find someone like this unexciting. I'm not some 18 year old who does not appreciate good men/people. I think I've found myself in relationships where I am the calm, reasonable, good one and my partner is great in some ways but high maintenance in many ways. Struggling to break this pattern. And yes, assume it has something to do with my own family.

How old are you, OP?

Anonymous wrote:Broke up with someone 6 months ago. Fell for him fast.
Been dating.
One guy seems good: nice, lives close, easy to chat with, lots of shared interests, he seems interested....just having a hard time getting excited about him. Don't feel that spark...have only seen him 3x. Nothing like when I met my last boyfriend. Questioning whether I feel like good guys are boring.
Another one is wrong for me but at least I feel attracted..although maybe for the wrong reasons. I seem to have a history of falling for super smart, charismatic neurotic kinda crazy guys. Maybe not the best type for me.
Not sure if I should keep looking or play out the good guy...

Sorry to be harsh, but when you're in an unhappy relationship a few years from - married or not - look back at your choices. And you'll be wondering 'where are all the good guys' - they find great women who deserve them, and they go on and lead great lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drop the nice guy for a woman who deserves and will appreciate him.

This is how you turn a good man into an asshole.

+1

+1 more.

What you must understand is first and foremost OP is that ultimately you will be attracted to guys that you are comfortable with and are familiar with.

Meaning?? Meaning = Think of your childhood. What type of home/childhood did you have? Was it chaotic? Unstable? Dramatic? If so, then that is what is familiar to you. What is comfortable to you....What is normal + secure to you.

So therefore when seeking out a romantic relationship, you will be automatically drawn to what you learned as a child to mean "love." If love was defined to you as a child as chaotic or instability, then yes, I would say you are drawn to neurotic and crazy-type men like you stated in your post. And that is NEVER a good thing.

So to break the habit, you need to acknowledge why you fall for these bad boys and then proceed to rid yourself of any bad dating habits and move on to healthier relationship choices.

Hope this helps.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

Anonymous wrote:Drop the nice guy for a woman who deserves and will appreciate him.

This is how you turn a good man into an asshole.

+1

Drop the nice guy for a woman who deserves and will appreciate him.

This is how you turn a good man into an asshole.

Anonymous wrote:Another one is wrong for me but at least I feel attracted..although maybe for the wrong reasons. I seem to have a history of falling for super smart, charismatic neurotic kinda crazy guys. Maybe not the best type for me.

I know what you should do, you should definitely let this guy knock you up.

How old are you, OP?

What will a "bad guy" do for you? Love you and leave you or cause you heartache?

Why waste your time. You really need to think about what you want out of life and go after it.

As you get older and your self-confidence grows, the bad guys will become boring.

Both keep looking and keep dating the good guy.

Broke up with someone 6 months ago. Fell for him fast.
Been dating.
One guy seems good: nice, lives close, easy to chat with, lots of shared interests, he seems interested....just having a hard time getting excited about him. Don't feel that spark...have only seen him 3x. Nothing like when I met my last boyfriend. Questioning whether I feel like good guys are boring.
Another one is wrong for me but at least I feel attracted..although maybe for the wrong reasons. I seem to have a history of falling for super smart, charismatic neurotic kinda crazy guys. Maybe not the best type for me.
Not sure if I should keep looking or play out the good guy...