I think your idea of going out with the family to brighten your Mom's life during this sad time is important. I am assuming that you would not be staying where your grandfather is living as that could be an awful lot to expect. Also, it would be nice if you could spell your Mom a bit in spending time with your Dad. PC can move very quickly so you might be of assistance if you could ask your Mom if there is anything you could do to help with future final preparations to relieve her of some of those tasks as she will be mourning the loss of her Dad. You are right the 2-year old will be a welcome visitor at this sad time. Do remember that your grandfather has lived a full life.

DH grandfather had this. When we visited I think (particularly his grandmother) hated the feeling that we were all there visiting to say our goodbyes. Having kids around is such a good distraction to the reality. That said, quickness can be key. Sorry you are dealing with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the difficult one here and say go by yourself and go as soon as you can. My father was diagnosed with cancer, 2 weeks later had surgery to remove it, a week later they opened him back up and it had spread. He was dead 6 days later. I am so glad I had time alone with him, without anyone relying on me to do anything besides drug him. I sat in a chair next to him for 5 days coming to terms with what was happening. While it would be nice to have your wife and kid there in theory, it's a long trip with a child that age, you're going to get anxious to get there, and it goes downhill quickly. Get on the plane, get there, and take care of the family.

+1 You can make a second trip with the family, if there is time.

+2. It can be very, very quick.

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the difficult one here and say go by yourself and go as soon as you can. My father was diagnosed with cancer, 2 weeks later had surgery to remove it, a week later they opened him back up and it had spread. He was dead 6 days later. I am so glad I had time alone with him, without anyone relying on me to do anything besides drug him. I sat in a chair next to him for 5 days coming to terms with what was happening. While it would be nice to have your wife and kid there in theory, it's a long trip with a child that age, you're going to get anxious to get there, and it goes downhill quickly. Get on the plane, get there, and take care of the family.

Though it's a grandfather not a father. I think I'd opt for family, especially since you are only talking about a week or so later.

If you can afford it, I'd fly out this weekend, then in a couple weeks.

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the difficult one here and say go by yourself and go as soon as you can. My father was diagnosed with cancer, 2 weeks later had surgery to remove it, a week later they opened him back up and it had spread. He was dead 6 days later. I am so glad I had time alone with him, without anyone relying on me to do anything besides drug him. I sat in a chair next to him for 5 days coming to terms with what was happening. While it would be nice to have your wife and kid there in theory, it's a long trip with a child that age, you're going to get anxious to get there, and it goes downhill quickly. Get on the plane, get there, and take care of the family.

+1 You can make a second trip with the family, if there is time.

I'm going to be the difficult one here and say go by yourself and go as soon as you can. My father was diagnosed with cancer, 2 weeks later had surgery to remove it, a week later they opened him back up and it had spread. He was dead 6 days later. I am so glad I had time alone with him, without anyone relying on me to do anything besides drug him. I sat in a chair next to him for 5 days coming to terms with what was happening. While it would be nice to have your wife and kid there in theory, it's a long trip with a child that age, you're going to get anxious to get there, and it goes downhill quickly. Get on the plane, get there, and take care of the family.

He's 90. It's pancreatic cancer. Take the family. This may very well be the last time he sees your child--or the last time he sees the child while he's feeling anything like well.

But also be prepared for a quick solo trip if he goes downhill or in another few weeks if you can swing it.

My best to you. I saw my ninety-one-year-old grandfather ten days before he passed by sheer luck. He was not in great shape at the time, but got a respiratory infection and was gone in less than a week.

Driving can be fun or it can be a trip from Hell. It's all in your attitude and remembering that the kid is 2 and you will need frequent stops for changing/feeding/stretching. As long as you are good with that, no reason why you can't drive.

You could also fly them all to the mid west and rent a vehicle there. It would take less time to fly than to drive, so it's really a personal preference.

Sorry about your grandfather. 90 Wow! mine died at 59. (The other was dead long before I was ever around.)

I vote for the family trip as well. Another one with a grandfather who died of pancreatic cancer in the Midwest, but this was when I was in college. I think he was ill for at least three or four months before he died.

Assuming he doesn't go downhill too quickly, I would go out with the whole family.

My father in law had Lou Gehrig's disease. He lived in another country and had never met my son, his youngest grandchild. We were able to fly out for a two week visit and he died while we were there, as if waiting to see his eldest son and his youngest grandson one last time. While that's sounds sad, I think our visit (son and grandson) made his whole family a little happier....or at least better....that the whole family could rally around FIL and MIL at such a hard time. I think it would be touching to many if your family could make the trip.

My grandpa just died of this. From diagnosis to death was 3 weeks (I don't know when it metastasized). I flew out to spend his last two weeks with him and help care for him at home. All of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren were there. One of my last memories of my grandpa was seeing him with my cousin's 8 month old. So old and so young, one just beginning life and the other ending! there were so many people there that caring for the little kids wasn't an issue.

Not to be a buzz kill, but my other grandpa died of pancreatic cancer as well. He only lived about 3 days.

Take family, maybe even do both.

And I am so very, very sorry. My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer.

My grandfather is in his 90s, and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a week ago. It hasn't metasized yet. The doctors haven't given him an estimate of how long he has, but he's feeling ok and walking with a walker. I'm trying to decide between flying out to the Midwest to visit my family by myself at the end of June for a long weekend or driving out with my wife and 2 year old for a week in early July (we would see other family too during this longer trip). The 2 year old is a typical 2 year old--can be a bit wearing, but we can take him outside if he gets to be too much for my grandparents. My mom has been really sad, and she's crazy about our DS and seeing him would definitely cheer her up.

Any advice on flying out by myself or the three of us driving out?

Thanks!