It is hard for me. I have kids, we are from different countries. I am very unhappy. still, we can't make the step. We keep going to therapy. DH seems to have faith in it, but then he kind of goes with the flow. I tell him we are not getting anywhere, he says we are working on it.
I am very sad today. Very lonely always.

For me, the court made it hard by dragging it out for a year.They were either off to vacation though were were schedule to appear or too busy to get it all done at once.We had nothing to fight about, but took still a year to get the divorce.
Getting rid of the idiot not hard at all.

Because divorce represents a bunch of things rolled up into one. It's the public admission that you're no longer in love with the person you swore yourself to forever. It's acknowledgment of a failure in your personal life. It's a blow to your ego that someone doesn't want you enough to change/be the old person/not cheat/work through the cheating/whatever. It's the dissolution of your life with someone else. It's the uncertainty of your (and your kids') future. It's change.
Divorce is so many things happening at once. No matter how long you beat around the bush to get to it, it still hurts and causes anguish when you finally arrive at it. But...you will get through it and over it.

Anonymous wrote:No, sorry not the poor schmuck who married your ex. Just an unfortunate guy who got hitched to the wrong woman.

Sorry to be so snarky in that answer ; I gave a more serious answer at 9:10, and I agree with those who say that it is a grieving process.

I guess the thing I would take away from my story is that these things can be put behind you ultimately but they can be miserable and suck at the time you are going through them. Profound, I know. Good Luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I want the divorce and DW does not. Life with DW has become untenable but she does not see it this way. She says I am betraying my kids by wanting divorce, but I can no longer live with DW who is not only unsupportive, but outright hostile to me on a daily basis, poisons the atmosphere of the marriage and will not see her responsibility for the bad state of things. For her, I am the evil one.

You are the evil one, but she doesn't want you to leave (divorce). Riiight. Dude, I have an ex-gf like this; for your children's sake, if not your own, GTFO now. DTMFA. Your kids deserve to spend at least half their time in a sane stable, non-manipulative environment, if not more. Good luck.

Oh, and if you're the poor schmuck who started dating my ex like a couple of weeks after she told me she couldn't stand to live without me, and then married her like the second the ink was dry on your divorce from the woman you were married to when I my ex put the spell on you: I'm sorry. I would've warned you but you wouldn't have believed me. Did you not get a load of her mother? Don't feel bad, I ignored all these warning signs too.

Still: DTMFA, for the sake of the kids.

Sorry, but this is hysterically funny.

Because you once loved someone, planned a future with them, shared yourself with them, took an oath, and now have to come to grips with the fact that it failed. Also, there is no marriage where 100% of the problems are from one person so there is a more personal sense of defeat.

No, sorry not the poor schmuck who married your ex. Just an unfortunate guy who got hitched to the wrong woman.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I want the divorce and DW does not. Life with DW has become untenable but she does not see it this way. She says I am betraying my kids by wanting divorce, but I can no longer live with DW who is not only unsupportive, but outright hostile to me on a daily basis, poisons the atmosphere of the marriage and will not see her responsibility for the bad state of things. For her, I am the evil one.

You are the evil one, but she doesn't want you to leave (divorce). Riiight. Dude, I have an ex-gf like this; for your children's sake, if not your own, GTFO now. DTMFA. Your kids deserve to spend at least half their time in a sane stable, non-manipulative environment, if not more. Good luck.

Oh, and if you're the poor schmuck who started dating my ex like a couple of weeks after she told me she couldn't stand to live without me, and then married her like the second the ink was dry on your divorce from the woman you were married to when I my ex put the spell on you: I'm sorry. I would've warned you but you wouldn't have believed me. Did you not get a load of her mother? Don't feel bad, I ignored all these warning signs too.

Still: DTMFA, for the sake of the kids.

Well, I want the divorce and DW does not. Life with DW has become untenable but she does not see it this way. She says I am betraying my kids by wanting divorce, but I can no longer live with DW who is not only unsupportive, but outright hostile to me on a daily basis, poisons the atmosphere of the marriage and will not see her responsibility for the bad state of things. For her, I am the evil one.

Because in the end, it is a LOSS.

And every loss is very painful.

Even though the loss is the only solution for both parties involved and the only way for everyone involved to move forward, it still hurts to see any former entity separate and go it's separate ways.

Why is divorce so hard?

Because if it was easy, everybody would do it LOL

Change is scary, plain and simple. We are hard-wired that way.

You are grieving the loss of the future you thought you were going to have with the spouse and marriage. You probably emotionally divorced a while ago.

I amazed that some people find it so easy to become a couple and get married. Maybe getting married should be much harder.

You have tried, really tried to hold the marriage together. You have been to counseling, therapy, etc. and nothing works. You know that the decision to divorce is the right one, but it is still so hard and you are still so angry, afraid, etc. Why?