You sound like a glutton for punishment. Clearly your sibling wants NO contact. Save your pennies and your sanity and send nothing else

Anonymous wrote:I know they didn't send gifts to your kids but did they send thank you cards? My mom always made sure we wrote thank you cards for every gift we received. I thought it was a pain back then but it was a good lesson.

After years of getting no acknowledgement that they even received the mailed gifts,

No

I know they didn't send gifts to your kids but did they send thank you cards? My mom always made sure we wrote thank you cards for every gift we received. I thought it was a pain back then but it was a good lesson.

It sounds like you were trying to be visible in your niece's and nephew's life although your sibling prohibited it. I don't fault you for trying. You heart was in the right place. I'm sorry they are a d*ck.

Anonymous wrote:Holy Shit, yes. Stop sending.

+1. Have you been sending unacknowledged gifts for all 10 years of the estrangement?

Anonymous wrote:By bigger gifts I mean I spent about $100 per kid - usually on stuff like playdoh, pop-up books, sippy cups, toddler silverware etc... when they were 2 years old. Books, clothing, art supplies, puzzles and games when they were 5.

By no means was I trying to show I was financially superior as it's really DH's money as I SAH. When my DC were born, we received something similar from an out-of-town relative. My kids thought it was so much fun opening all the different gifts the relative collected. It really meant a lot to me that this person thought so much for my kids. Not so much that they sent "stuff" but more that they thought of my DCs.

I mean, ever since my DCs were born, each year they receive a box of items from a relative. They love to see what this relative found and sent them.

It's been 10 years. You should respect their wishes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sibling, who lives 1500 miles away, stopped speaking to me about 10 years ago - I don't even know why!. For the first several years, I called a few times a year to see if they were ready to communicate but heard nothing. The very few family gathers we've both been to, they won't even come in the same room. I've come to terms with that and try to consider I don't have that sibling now.

They now have 3 children - my only nieces/nephews. When they were first born, I sent larger (in the monetary sense) gifts for birthdays and Christmas as they were struggling with day care and baby costs. DH and I are a few years older and financially on solid ground. We could afford to. After years of getting no acknowledgement that they even received the mailed gifts, I started sending cheaper items - usually a $10 book. But now I am wondering if I am just wasting my time and energy as they have never in the last 10 years sent even a birthday card to my children. I couldn't care less about them sending a gift - but a card which says "I know you exist on your birthday despite me hating your mother. We're thinking about you" would be thoughtful by my children.

What do you think - do I stop sending birthday and Christmas gifts to them and totally cut loose?

Your card doesn't literally say that, does it?

No - but I was trying to get a point across. Send something to your niece/nephew as they are your family but at this point I don't care what it says.

Holy Shit, yes. Stop sending.

Most likely they go unappreciated and at worst they mock you for whatever weird reasons they have.

By bigger gifts I mean I spent about $100 per kid - usually on stuff like playdoh, pop-up books, sippy cups, toddler silverware etc... when they were 2 years old. Books, clothing, art supplies, puzzles and games when they were 5.

By no means was I trying to show I was financially superior as it's really DH's money as I SAH. When my DC were born, we received something similar from an out-of-town relative. My kids thought it was so much fun opening all the different gifts the relative collected. It really meant a lot to me that this person thought so much for my kids. Not so much that they sent "stuff" but more that they thought of my DCs.

Anonymous wrote:My sibling, who lives 1500 miles away, stopped speaking to me about 10 years ago - I don't even know why!. For the first several years, I called a few times a year to see if they were ready to communicate but heard nothing. The very few family gathers we've both been to, they won't even come in the same room. I've come to terms with that and try to consider I don't have that sibling now.

They now have 3 children - my only nieces/nephews. When they were first born, I sent larger (in the monetary sense) gifts for birthdays and Christmas as they were struggling with day care and baby costs. DH and I are a few years older and financially on solid ground. We could afford to. After years of getting no acknowledgement that they even received the mailed gifts, I started sending cheaper items - usually a $10 book. But now I am wondering if I am just wasting my time and energy as they have never in the last 10 years sent even a birthday card to my children. I couldn't care less about them sending a gift - but a card which says "I know you exist on your birthday despite me hating your mother. We're thinking about you" would be thoughtful by my children.

What do you think - do I stop sending birthday and Christmas gifts to them and totally cut loose?

Your card doesn't literally say that, does it?

I would continue to send birthday cards.

You cant take a hint? Stop sending them stuff. Why dont you call sibling and ask why they havent spoken to you in 10 years

Yes, it is pretty clear they don't any relationship with you. The fact that you knew they were struggling financially (even though you hadn't spoken in years) so you sent big gifts because you thought it was "helpful" since you are older and better off could be a hint into why your sibling no longer wants contact with you

My sibling, who lives 1500 miles away, stopped speaking to me about 10 years ago - I don't even know why!. For the first several years, I called a few times a year to see if they were ready to communicate but heard nothing. The very few family gathers we've both been to, they won't even come in the same room. I've come to terms with that and try to consider I don't have that sibling now.

They now have 3 children - my only nieces/nephews. When they were first born, I sent larger (in the monetary sense) gifts for birthdays and Christmas as they were struggling with day care and baby costs. DH and I are a few years older and financially on solid ground. We could afford to. After years of getting no acknowledgement that they even received the mailed gifts, I started sending cheaper items - usually a $10 book. But now I am wondering if I am just wasting my time and energy as they have never in the last 10 years sent even a birthday card to my children. I couldn't care less about them sending a gift - but a card which says "I know you exist on your birthday despite me hating your mother. We're thinking about you" would be thoughtful by my children.

What do you think - do I stop sending birthday and Christmas gifts to them and totally cut loose?