OP here, Thanks for all the responses. I'm going to research ABA therapy and check out Kennedy Krieger.

We have had some success with telling her that if she hits we will leave the playground, and then following through. This hasn't really worked with playgroup though.

I know that people say that some kids just hit and will grow out of it, but after a year, it feels like more than a phase. And of course, even if it is just a normal developmental thing (that none of the other kids we know happen to have...) it still isn't okay to hit.

Thanks for letting me know that we're not alone and giving me some hope that she will grow out of it.

Kennedy Krieger Behavioral Clinic in Columbia, MD

This is probably a phase, even NT kids go through stages like this, but it's not acceptable either way.

I'm a parent of a SN kid with intermittent behaviour problems strongly considering, ambivilantly, ABA for the behaviours. Would love to see some more feedback on this approach because it seems insanely expensive to do it right and i've heard too many people say it didnt really help to leave me uncertain if it would really help my child. I do have a child for whom all kinds of therapies have not truly helped

We had all kinds of issues that came and went with the speech delays. We are just seeing speech at four and everything has significantly improved. You could try the ABA but we didn't find it helpful at all. I agree it is their form of communication. I would do a time out for the hitting and if you are out, immediately leave and go home. I'd drop the playgroup for a while too.

OP, I would suggest you try Child Find services. Not a lot of playgroups and preschools will tolerate hitting for long, even from an SN child.

I would also recommend you work with ABA-trained professionals. My son is speech delayed and was also a hitter at 3. They really helped figure out what triggered the behavior, work out his schedule, token/incentive system. He hasn't hit or pushed or hit anyone for 2 years now. ABA + CF preschool really helped him.

My DS, with many of the same issues (apraxia and hypotonia), did this for quite some time, particularly at 2 and 3. He is 4.5 now, and it is mostly better, but he is still quick to hit his brother if something isn't going his way--more than most 4.5 year olds would. We viewed it both as a method for seeking input and, like you said, as method of communication. He wasn't always communicating unhappiness or anger when he did these things. For a long while, if my 3 year old and his older brother were watching TV on the couch and something was funny, the 3 year old would smack his brother on the leg or arm (hard!). He would frequently do this with his brother, when the emotions he was really expressing were excitement or happiness. Of course, he used the same things when he was angry. And, when what he really wanted was a hug or to say hello, he would come up to the person and pinch their legs with both hands, while gritting his teeth.

We didn't use a therapist, but just continued with OT and it has improved greatly with maturity. This behavior was at its worst during the evenings after daycare/preschool. We made sure we provided him with lots of opportunities to burn energy and get deep input. We bought a massive 5ft. bean bag that he uses for crashes, and if he started hitting his brother, I often suggested that maybe he needed to get some energy out doing some crashes. I'm not sure this is helpful, but just wanted to share our experience with similar behavior.

My almost three-year-old child has Childhood Apraxia of Speech and receives speech therapy twice a week. She can use 4 word sentences, though she doesn't often. But she can communicate and she is generally outgoing and happy. She also receives PT and OT for hypotonia and developmental delays, though she gradually needs this less.

My issue is that for about a year now she has been hitting. She hits when she wants a toy that another child has, but also at seemingly random times. We've been seeing a child psychologist for this who believes that hitting has become a form of communication for her. The therapist has suggested praising her when she's good, doing child led play, sticker charts, and downplaying our reaction when she hits and not to do timeout, which didn't really work any way. We've been seeing the therapist for about two months and things are no better.

We've been part of a playgroup with the same few kids since before she was 1 and I'm about ready to drop out because she can't stop hitting these kids, no matter what we try. She really likes these kids and she obviously needs socialization so I know this isn't really a good idea but I can't figure out what to do. And, she’ll be starting preschool in the fall and I don’t want to get kicked out.

I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions on a therapist who might be more helpful than the one we are seeing, or any insight or ideas on how to get my child to stop hitting other children.