bar mitzvah means son of a the commandment - IE someone who has reached the age where they are responsible to follow jewish law - before that age, if they violate the law, responsibility is on the parents.

So correctly, one becomes bar mitzvah, and has a ceremony/party to celebrate becoming a bar mitzvah. However as people lost interest in the status, and more concerned with the rite of passage, the usage shifted.

Anonymous wrote:Technically it is become. But in conversation it's pretty common to say have. I'm Jewish and I even say that sometimes, or worse, so-and-so is "being bar mitzvah'd."

This. Older folks will even say that so-and-so "is a bar mitzvah." But I don't know anyone younger than 60 who says that.

Either

Technically it is become. But in conversation it's pretty common to say have. I'm Jewish and I even say that sometimes, or worse, so-and-so is "being bar mitzvah'd."

Try this explanation

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1048736/jewish/The-Laws-of-Bar-Mitzvah.htm

A lot of my friends have tweens that are have their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. I always thought it was "have a bar/bat mitzvah", but I've been seeing a lot of posts saying "so and so BECOMES a bar/bat mitzvah today". Which is it? Google did not help me much, so any explanation is great (or links to explanations would be helpful)- I'm worried I've been saying it wrong all these years!