You agree that your daughter should get plastic surgery??? Do you tell her you agree she needs ps?

Jesus, no wonder she is screwed up.

Please answer 23:48's question.

Anonymous wrote:There is a thread like this just about once a year, I think. It's usually someone posting about her two daughters, though.

I haven't seen it, but it wasn't me. We have two daughters and one son.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, your poor daughter. Be her advocate and stand up for her. This is traumatizing for her. Say no to the portrait. Your MIL is a selfish f'ing cow.

+1
WTF is wrong w your family? STOP hurting your daughter. You are both shitty parents. Keep that sweet child away from MIL.

There is a thread like this just about once a year, I think. It's usually someone posting about her two daughters, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, did she have some sense when she was 4 that she was "unphotogenic". What has been said in front of her to make her think this way? I agree with pp - this seems like the tip of a horrible iceberg for her self-esteem.

Our other two kids are traditionally gorgeous - strangers in the supermarket stop us to suggest we get them into child modeling. So since she was a little girl she's heard "Oh, your son is going to be SUCH a heartbreaker! Gush, gush gush..." and then they turn to her and say "Your dress is adorable!" or "Your hair looks so cute!" and she's not stupid. Kids judge other kids based on looks. Kids pick up on their parents actions and words. I've had other mothers whisper to each other in front of DD "what do you think happened there?" Her brother and sister are invited to a birthday party almost every weekend. DD has gone to three this year. She's smart, she's sweet and kind, has a great sense of humor, all these fabulous attributes. But as time goes by and she gets made fun of (both directly and in subtle ways) and rejected, she is less and less outgoing. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes her sister will be playing outside with her, a neighbor will play with them, then invite my other girl over to her house and if she says "Can my sister come too?" the neighbor will say no. And this is multiple kids in the neighborhood, not just one kid.

What do you say in response to the people who say these things in front of your child?

Trollicious. Valiant effort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, did she have some sense when she was 4 that she was "unphotogenic". What has been said in front of her to make her think this way? I agree with pp - this seems like the tip of a horrible iceberg for her self-esteem.

Our other two kids are traditionally gorgeous - strangers in the supermarket stop us to suggest we get them into child modeling. So since she was a little girl she's heard "Oh, your son is going to be SUCH a heartbreaker! Gush, gush gush..." and then they turn to her and say "Your dress is adorable!" or "Your hair looks so cute!" and she's not stupid. Kids judge other kids based on looks. Kids pick up on their parents actions and words. I've had other mothers whisper to each other in front of DD "what do you think happened there?" Her brother and sister are invited to a birthday party almost every weekend. DD has gone to three this year. She's smart, she's sweet and kind, has a great sense of humor, all these fabulous attributes. But as time goes by and she gets made fun of (both directly and in subtle ways) and rejected, she is less and less outgoing. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes her sister will be playing outside with her, a neighbor will play with them, then invite my other girl over to her house and if she says "Can my sister come too?" the neighbor will say no. And this is multiple kids in the neighborhood, not just one kid.

Ask your kids to make friends with Indian kids. Indian kids will be in big trouble with their parents if they exclude any child. This is just not tolerated.

Lol, thanks for the tip!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, did she have some sense when she was 4 that she was "unphotogenic". What has been said in front of her to make her think this way? I agree with pp - this seems like the tip of a horrible iceberg for her self-esteem.

Our other two kids are traditionally gorgeous - strangers in the supermarket stop us to suggest we get them into child modeling. So since she was a little girl she's heard "Oh, your son is going to be SUCH a heartbreaker! Gush, gush gush..." and then they turn to her and say "Your dress is adorable!" or "Your hair looks so cute!" and she's not stupid. Kids judge other kids based on looks. Kids pick up on their parents actions and words. I've had other mothers whisper to each other in front of DD "what do you think happened there?" Her brother and sister are invited to a birthday party almost every weekend. DD has gone to three this year. She's smart, she's sweet and kind, has a great sense of humor, all these fabulous attributes. But as time goes by and she gets made fun of (both directly and in subtle ways) and rejected, she is less and less outgoing. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes her sister will be playing outside with her, a neighbor will play with them, then invite my other girl over to her house and if she says "Can my sister come too?" the neighbor will say no. And this is multiple kids in the neighborhood, not just one kid.

Ask your kids to make friends with Indian kids. Indian kids will be in big trouble with their parents if they exclude any child. This is just not tolerated.

Anonymous wrote:So, did she have some sense when she was 4 that she was "unphotogenic". What has been said in front of her to make her think this way? I agree with pp - this seems like the tip of a horrible iceberg for her self-esteem.

Our other two kids are traditionally gorgeous - strangers in the supermarket stop us to suggest we get them into child modeling. So since she was a little girl she's heard "Oh, your son is going to be SUCH a heartbreaker! Gush, gush gush..." and then they turn to her and say "Your dress is adorable!" or "Your hair looks so cute!" and she's not stupid. Kids judge other kids based on looks. Kids pick up on their parents actions and words. I've had other mothers whisper to each other in front of DD "what do you think happened there?" Her brother and sister are invited to a birthday party almost every weekend. DD has gone to three this year. She's smart, she's sweet and kind, has a great sense of humor, all these fabulous attributes. But as time goes by and she gets made fun of (both directly and in subtle ways) and rejected, she is less and less outgoing. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes her sister will be playing outside with her, a neighbor will play with them, then invite my other girl over to her house and if she says "Can my sister come too?" the neighbor will say no. And this is multiple kids in the neighborhood, not just one kid.

So, did she have some sense when she was 4 that she was "unphotogenic". What has been said in front of her to make her think this way? I agree with pp - this seems like the tip of a horrible iceberg for her self-esteem.

Anonymous wrote:You've got much bigger problems than the one you're asking.

+1. Sorry, OP.

You've got much bigger problems than the one you're asking.

Jesus, your poor daughter. Be her advocate and stand up for her. This is traumatizing for her. Say no to the portrait. Your MIL is a selfish f'ing cow.

Each summer, the extended family gets together. Each year, my MIL insists on a professional family portrait. One of my daughters is ... unphotogenic. We have spent every single summer since she was three with her hysterically crying and screaming that she doesn't want to be in the photo shoot because she hates how she looks. Each year MIL insists she be in it, each year we force her to be in it. Each year my MIL bitches to DH and I about how DD looks terrible and ruined the portrait and have we considered plastic surgery, she's found a great surgeon, etc. MIL also talks to other adults in the family about it. So she wants her to be in the photo but complains she wrecks it.

To be frank, DD wants plastic surgery (but she's 12, so too young), and we understand why. Our genes just didn't mix in the same way for her that they did for our other two kids. The problem is, now DD doesn't even want to go on the family trip which is a week long, solely because of the portrait, even though she loves and misses her cousins and otherwise has a great time. Last year she had an upset stomach the whole night before.

We just got the email from MIL about the dress code for this summer's portrait, and DD has already cried hysterically last night about hating how she looks and not wanting to go at all. She never wants to be in pictures at all and we force her once a year in case she's ever kidnapped and we have to give a picture to police (slightly paranoid, I know). She has felt this way since she was about 4.

Is there any solution to this we haven't seen? It hurts me to see my daughter so miserable.