Not everyone with a difficult personality has BPD. Please don't armchair diagnose. Without a formal diagnosis you are simply speculating.

Anonymous wrote:People, borderline personality disorder is caused by childhood abuse -- it is not something to throw around. There is no cure. There is a school of thought that borderline personality disorder is mostly diagnosed as an insult. I highly doubt that all these MIL suffered from childhood (sexual) abuse.

Mine was. I'd like to hear more about this school of thought you mention. Can you reference it?

Anonymous wrote:People, borderline personality disorder is caused by childhood abuse -- it is not something to throw around. There is no cure. There is a school of thought that borderline personality disorder is mostly diagnosed as an insult. I highly doubt that all these MIL suffered from childhood (sexual) abuse.

Often there is abuse in the background but not always.

Agree your life can improve 100 percent by learning ow to deal with the BPD person. Try "Walking on Eggshells."

Recovery is possible though I wouldn't count on it. The creator of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Marsha Linehan, rocked the psych world a few years ago when she revealed that she had borderline personality disorder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of Dialectical Behavior therapy, but I don't know much about it. We're pretty sure my MIL has borderline, but she'd never believe anything is wrong with her. It's incredibly difficult.

Honestly, your best bet is to find a good therapist with whom you can consult about how to manage her. DBT helps manage symptoms, but it doesn't change character, and that's the core issue with BPD.

No, not character. Personality.

Anonymous wrote:People, borderline personality disorder is caused by childhood abuse -- it is not something to throw around. There is no cure. There is a school of thought that borderline personality disorder is mostly diagnosed as an insult. I highly doubt that all these MIL suffered from childhood (sexual) abuse.

1 in 5 girls experiences sexual abuse. Why is it not possible that people posting here have MILs that have gone through this?

People, borderline personality disorder is caused by childhood abuse -- it is not something to throw around. There is no cure. There is a school of thought that borderline personality disorder is mostly diagnosed as an insult. I highly doubt that all these MIL suffered from childhood (sexual) abuse.

I agree with the everything everyone else has said. I know a few people with BPD and the best thing has been to just change the way I deal with them. One person I know receives the best treatment available and she's still incredibly dramatic and manipulative. Don't get sucked into the drama and know when you are being manipulated.

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of Dialectical Behavior therapy, but I don't know much about it. We're pretty sure my MIL has borderline, but she'd never believe anything is wrong with her. It's incredibly difficult.

I have a borderline MIL as well. She refuses to seek treatment for it, and you're right, it's extremely difficult. We had to cut ties with her for a while because she would treat DH's much younger sibling poorly (refusing to pay for asthma meds, screaming and crying to her) when DH or SIL wouldn't return her calls immediately, and next weekend is her first time visiting us in four years. I'm so anxious about the visit. SIL swears she's much better now, so maybe she's in therapy now.

From what DH's therapist has told us, BPD is extremely difficult to treat, largely because of resistance from the person who has it. PP, I'd love to hear what kind of coping methods you and your spouse have, and how it's affected your spouse as an adult.

OP, who is it that you know who has it?

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of Dialectical Behavior therapy, but I don't know much about it. We're pretty sure my MIL has borderline, but she'd never believe anything is wrong with her. It's incredibly difficult.

Honestly, your best bet is to find a good therapist with whom you can consult about how to manage her. DBT helps manage symptoms, but it doesn't change character, and that's the core issue with BPD.

Some not so great psychiatrists diagnose this too much, especially in hard-to-treat patients--I know of two people with this diagnosis, one of whom was just depressed, and the other who has bipolar disorder and had substance abuse problems. I would get a second opinion if you're at all questioning this diagnosis.

Read books on how to deal with them. Its easier to change your approach than theirs...

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of Dialectical Behavior therapy, but I don't know much about it. We're pretty sure my MIL has borderline, but she'd never believe anything is wrong with her. It's incredibly difficult.

That's the problem, in a nutshell. You can't get Borderlines to therapy.

I've heard of Dialectical Behavior therapy, but I don't know much about it. We're pretty sure my MIL has borderline, but she'd never believe anything is wrong with her. It's incredibly difficult.

DBT has been developed for BPD. It is probably the most effective treatment.

which treatment was most effective? (Wondering if it can be successfully treated at all.)