Tell her not to be offended but for next year if she gets a 2 bedroom condo you will stay with her.

OP here. DH's family is a 5 hour drive. We don't ever stay for a week; just 2 and 3 day weekends. She comes down to visit us as well and stays with us. My DH is equally uncomfortable staying in her condo. I don't think it will "hurt" my baby but I do know my baby is a light sleeper and won't do as well in the living room with people going in and out of the bathroom and the tv blaring.

OP, I've been staying at a hotel when visiting my parents since before my kids were born. I got to an age where I have no desire to sleep in the living room -- especially because my dad would stay up late watching tv -- or share a small bathroom with 6 people (including other siblings). I need my rest!

And as a mother of a baby, you need your rest, too.

Tell MIL that once your baby is a toddler he/she can spend a night or two at her place.

I totally see both sides of this. Can you do one night with your MIL just so she can have her son and grandchild at her home? It's just one night, and then go stay somewhere comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You stay with family to spend time with them, living with them for a short time. It is not like being in a hotel. I understand why your MIL is upset. If you want a nice vacation, go on one. If you want to spend time with relatives, stay with them.

Why does one have to sleep at someone's house to spend time together?

Because they are family. Because the MIL misses having her child wake up in her house and have breakfast, go to bed at night in her house etc. Family time.

Then she should have bought a two bedroom condo if having her son, his wife, and their child stay with her. Because there's no room at her place!!

You are totally in the right.

OP, stay strong, she's being ridiculous.

You pp's are nuts. It's a one bedroom! Mil's home isn't big enough for a family of three to stay there. They can have a nice visit without sleeping over. Seriously, that would just be nutty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You stay with family to spend time with them, living with them for a short time. It is not like being in a hotel. I understand why your MIL is upset. If you want a nice vacation, go on one. If you want to spend time with relatives, stay with them.

Why does one have to sleep at someone's house to spend time together?

Because they are family. Because the MIL misses having her child wake up in her house and have breakfast, go to bed at night in her house etc. Family time.

I don't think you are crazy at all. Three adults and a baby shouldn't have to stay together if there are other options.

Anonymous wrote:You stay with family to spend time with them, living with them for a short time. It is not like being in a hotel. I understand why your MIL is upset. If you want a nice vacation, go on one. If you want to spend time with relatives, stay with them.

Why does one have to sleep at someone's house to spend time together?

OP we need more details. How far away does this family live and how far do you have to travel to see them? How often do you visit this town? If you are in town for a week, can you not stay at your MILs one night to make her happy?

Sorry, but I tend to side with the PP who says you need to suck it up. It won't hurt your baby and yes, everyone will have to be quiet after 7:00 but so what?

What does your DH say? Why is this 100% your decision ... or are you just the one complaining?

What is your MIL's response when you say that everyone will have to be quiet after 7pm when the baby goes to sleep??

You stay with family to spend time with them, living with them for a short time. It is not like being in a hotel. I understand why your MIL is upset. If you want a nice vacation, go on one. If you want to spend time with relatives, stay with them.

DH's family lives out of town. God forbid we stay in a hotel on visits. This leaves us with a choice of staying with (1) his fun dad and stepmom in their big, comfy house; (2) his brother's family in their house where we my DH, me, and baby must share one bedroom and there is only one bathroom for everyone; and (3) his mother's one bedroom, one bath condo. We choose option 1. MIL is upset that we don't stay with her. Even though intellectually I know this is unreasonable (there is nowhere for baby to sleep quietly and husband and I have to sleep in an air mattress in living room) I feel guilty. We always make sure to visit with everyone when we are in town but MIL displays no ability to understand why we won't sleep at her place. Am I crazy? Do I need to suck it up and throw her a bone or is my position understandable? FWIW, DH doesn't want to stay there but he feels guilty too. I just feel, as a self-sufficient adult, that it should be okay that I don't want to have a miserable night's sleep and tiptoe around so as not to wake the baby. Right?