I have used adult shampoo and conditioner (Bumble and bumble thickening shampoo and conditoner) on my girls' fine hair and it works very well.

VO5 makes a good one that is cheap (children always use lots) and gets the tangles out of mine and DDs hair. It's light blue. Mane and Tail makes a good leave in for after the pool.

Use a good adult conditioner.

[quote=mabodie]OP here: thank you for the quick responses

Cutting the hair would be an obvious solution but DH really likes his girl having longer hair and it's really the only area he's expressed a preference. DD would prefer a crew cut but knows that Daddy likes the longer hair. I've also pointed out to her that if she didn't have long hair, she would be totally responsible for it on her own and that there would be no tv time on school mornings. (She gets to watch tv while I do her hair before school.)

I didn't realize shampoo/conditioner combos didn't work as well. I think I still want that though for her use. My thought is to try to get her to wash her hair after swimming (like other girls at the pool do) and that I will still do the once a week wash (when I can use a separate conditioner.) I will still be braiding her hair so maybe I just set the goal at washing it and I will continue the comb out. Tangles are not as much of a priority for us because her hair is always braided except when it is being washed.

She recently turned 8 but has some developmental challenges including motor planning that are likely to make this more difficult than it might be for some other children. (I thought about posting this in the special needs forum but then decided that long fine hair was a more universal challenge.)[/quote]

I may vomit. Rein in your DH.

[quote=mabodie]OP here: thank you for the quick responses

Cutting the hair would be an obvious solution but DH really likes his girl having longer hair and it's really the only area he's expressed a preference. DD would prefer a crew cut but knows that Daddy likes the longer hair. I've also pointed out to her that if she didn't have long hair, she would be totally responsible for it on her own and that there would be no tv time on school mornings. (She gets to watch tv while I do her hair before school.)

I didn't realize shampoo/conditioner combos didn't work as well. I think I still want that though for her use. My thought is to try to get her to wash her hair after swimming (like other girls at the pool do) and that I will still do the once a week wash (when I can use a separate conditioner.) I will still be braiding her hair so maybe I just set the goal at washing it and I will continue the comb out. Tangles are not as much of a priority for us because her hair is always braided except when it is being washed.

She recently turned 8 but has some developmental challenges including motor planning that are likely to make this more difficult than it might be for some other children. (I thought about posting this in the special needs forum but then decided that long fine hair was a more universal challenge.)[/quote]

The first paragraph is so weird.

[quote=mabodie]OP here: thank you for the quick responses

Cutting the hair would be an obvious solution but DH really likes his girl having longer hair and it's really the only area he's expressed a preference. DD would prefer a crew cut but knows that Daddy likes the longer hair. I've also pointed out to her that if she didn't have long hair, she would be totally responsible for it on her own and that there would be no tv time on school mornings. (She gets to watch tv while I do her hair before school.)

I didn't realize shampoo/conditioner combos didn't work as well. I think I still want that though for her use. My thought is to try to get her to wash her hair after swimming (like other girls at the pool do) and that I will still do the once a week wash (when I can use a separate conditioner.) I will still be braiding her hair so maybe I just set the goal at washing it and I will continue the comb out. Tangles are not as much of a priority for us because her hair is always braided except when it is being washed.

She recently turned 8 but has some developmental challenges including motor planning that are likely to make this more difficult than it might be for some other children. (I thought about posting this in the special needs forum but then decided that long fine hair was a more universal challenge.)[/quote]

What the???? Your husband gets a say in his 8yr old daughter's hair length? She will have to do it all herself and not get tv time if it is shorter? Stop playing mind games and just tell her she can not make her own decision about her own body and that you and DH will. Ugh, awful how low DC moms hover.

All of my girls have long hair and I agree those 2 in 1 products are not great. I have taught them to apply a good conditioner only on "the ponytail" part of their hair, leave on for a few minutes while they do a last body rinse and then rinse their hair while running fingers through it. It can't get in eyes that way. They don't tousle it all up while drying either (they wrap in a turbie towel) and it stays pretty snarl free. We have some wide tooth combs they use when hair is still wet as well as a "wet brush" that is pretty good.

I really like Mixed Chicks kids shampoo and leave in conditioner. I've used it on my hair when I've run out of my stuff and it's great.

OP, if you'd like her to wash her hair everyday after swimming, maybe she should just use conditioner. It has very mild cleaning agents and will give her hair slip, so it won't tangle so much and will be easier to brush. And it won't be stripping (taking all the oil out of her hair), the way shampooing daily will be.

OP here: thank you for the quick responses

Cutting the hair would be an obvious solution but DH really likes his girl having longer hair and it's really the only area he's expressed a preference. DD would prefer a crew cut but knows that Daddy likes the longer hair. I've also pointed out to her that if she didn't have long hair, she would be totally responsible for it on her own and that there would be no tv time on school mornings. (She gets to watch tv while I do her hair before school.)

I didn't realize shampoo/conditioner combos didn't work as well. I think I still want that though for her use. My thought is to try to get her to wash her hair after swimming (like other girls at the pool do) and that I will still do the once a week wash (when I can use a separate conditioner.) I will still be braiding her hair so maybe I just set the goal at washing it and I will continue the comb out. Tangles are not as much of a priority for us because her hair is always braided except when it is being washed.

She recently turned 8 but has some developmental challenges including motor planning that are likely to make this more difficult than it might be for some other children. (I thought about posting this in the special needs forum but then decided that long fine hair was a more universal challenge.)

Cut it!!

Combos suck big time. It is just an extra step to use a shampoo and then conditioner. She is capable, I'm sure. After shampoo, condition, and then use a leave in conditioner.

I would suggest the most silicone-laden conditioner you can find, applied generously. Or a leave-in conditioner.

My fine hair was basically impossible until I hit puberty, when it changed enough that a condititioner would work on it. She's not destined to have knots in her hair forever.

You didn't say how old she is. Regardless, I find that the combos never EVER work well in terms of conditioning.

Also, my DD is 11 and STILL has a hard time brushing out ALL the knots. We did find however, that her hair gets less knotted up if she brushes it both in the morning and before she goes to sleep.

One of my goals this summer is to start working with DD on washing/combing her own hair so I need to find a combined shampoo/conditioner product that will most increase the chance of success.

To date I've used Dolphin Organics or California Baby super sensitive but those have conditioner as a separate step from shampoo and don't have the ingredients that make it easier comb out afterwards. I will continue to braid her hair but would like her to be able to towel dry her hair and run a comb through it on her own.

At this point, I am open to all ingredients (i.e. not trying to avoid ones that some might view as potentially harmful) but it does need to be "tear free" as I expect it will occasionally get in her eyes as she is learning.

Thank you.