Set up 429's for their children.

Anonymous wrote:Judging from the poor response I realize it's almost impossible.

Yes, a poor response at 4 am. LOL. Need to work on your own reasoning skills before you lecture your relatives.

OP, you are likely to give the impression that you don't respect them. People want to be respected more than they want your money.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this sounds like it is more for you than them. You cannot change someone to make them into a mini-you. Accept them for who they are and then do as you see fit.

This.

I am your poor relative. I'm not poor because of bad decision-making, but because of circumstances beyond my control that cause me to only be able to attain a low level of education which in turn leads to a lower paying job.

But I'm not actually poor. It's just that you're really rich and normally only surround yourself with people just like you, so my lifestyle seems VERY sparse in comparison.

I manage the small amount of money I have very wisely. I don't need a money management class. That's for people who have things like 401Ks and ... assets.

Honestly, this sounds like it is more for you than them. You cannot change someone to make them into a mini-you. Accept them for who they are and then do as you see fit.

op here.

I began to gave money away a long time ago when I was still poor. One relative used the money to rent cars every month for several years before I bought my first car. Another one used the money to eat out everyday. I am not surprised that they have became even poorer by now.

As for luck, the only luck I have is that I was born relatively smart but I attribute success (if any) to my hard working , often 10 hours day and often without breaks on weekends.

I am not going to teach them the virtue of hard working but am thinking about giving them real stuff not cash in the future. I have tried to teach one young relative skills that i think are important but so far he has shown no interests. Hence the frustration.

Just based on what you wrote, no you shouldn't do it. It sounds very jerky. Either you give money free of strings or you do not. Unless they are your children, I don't thnk you should be in the business of "teaching" them things. That is very condescending and isn't going to make for a harmonious extended family life.

We have family members who are much less well off than we are. We give generously for things like weddings, showers, holidays, etc. If there was a serious emergency (health, disaster, etc), we of course would step up and cover things. But short of that, it isn't our place to try to rework their lives unless someone expressly asks for that sort of help.

Another thing to think about is how your success was based in part on a lot of luck. Maybe that will help you be a little more kind spirited.

We buy school clothes, pay for educational needs like field trips, school supplies, an extra pair of glasses, after school enrichment, etc. for our poor relatives. No more cash gifts. I do it and try not to get annoyed when I see they have more expensive smart phones than I do or go out partying after claiming they have no money.

Poor is a relative term and different for everyone. The need varies greatly. I would do tangible things such as buying toys, clothing and other necessities for the kids. Pay for an activity or summer camp directly. Buy gift cards meant for specific things.

Anonymous wrote:

I have more than my share of poor relatives, whereas I am relatively well-off. I want to help them, but they seem to be only interested in the money. The problem is that if I give them the money they will spend on something stupid (part of the reasons why they are poor). I want to teach them some skills, or give them money to improve their standard of living, which they are not interested in.

Is this hopeless? or is it possible to make arrangement that my efforts and money are not wasted like before?

Don't do it. Managing someone else's money for them is a certain way to end a relationship.

Invest in their kids. Either education or enrichment classes or take them places they might not be able to go. People are more willing to accept that kind of gift.

I'm not exactly sure what your post is asking. Are your relatives simply on different financial footing than you? So what? Are they actually asking for money, in which case you grow a spine and say no.

Or is this just some pie in the sky, oh poor me, Lady of the Manor bullshit? Are you serious? You don't think poor people have survival skills and money management skills? You try surviving on $500 a month when your rent is 450 and your kids need groceries.

You think they are not "interested." Let me guess. You want to help them budget and open a savings account. HAHAHAHAHA.

Judging from the poor response I realize it's almost impossible.

I have more than my share of poor relatives, whereas I am relatively well-off. I want to help them, but they seem to be only interested in the money. The problem is that if I give them the money they will spend on something stupid (part of the reasons why they are poor). I want to teach them some skills, or give them money to improve their standard of living, which they are not interested in.

Is this hopeless? or is it possible to make arrangement that my efforts and money are not wasted like before?