I call to maintain as well. I think my DH is kind of an ass to his parents so I do my best to call so the relationship with the kids does not suffer.

I used to do it (she died) as a courtesy to my husband.
He called her too but if he got busy I'd sometimes call her to "maintain".

My husband is great about a lot of stuff I don't want to do that moms/wives usually do and he hates Christmas cards, present buying and small talk.

I'd tell her he'd call her later.

She'd often call me if she knew he was away. She was worried I'd be lonely.
We weren't friends, but there was effort there.

Keeping peace with her made his life less stressful, so yeah.

Sometimes. I travel with the kids and shoe times she meets us to help.

Yes, but not generally to chit chat - there is always a reason for the call; neither of us are the chatty type. OTOH, DH never calls my mom.

Not if I can help it!

She calls my husband usually, and only occasionally me. I much prefer it that way and don't really ever want to be the main one to communicate with her. I'd never call her if I didn't absolutely have too for some reason.

Nope. My husband takes/makes those calls.

I will email with her some, and will facilitate skype calls so she can chat with the grandkids, but I don't call her to chat.

No. We've been married almost 26 years and the only time I ever initiate a call is when I have a specific question or hubs is deployed - never to just chit chat. I love her, I just have nothing to talk about.

It's so coincidental that you posted, as I was just wondering this morning if her feelings are ever hurt by this, because she does mention that DH's sisters call her frequently just to talk.

I've only called her once. We aren't really pals. She lives close and talks to DH almost every night.

Yeah.

I do call my mother-in-law, but I think we have an unusually good relationship. DH is an only child, and I really do feel like I fill the daughter role for her. I'll call her every couple of weeks and fill her in on stuff DH probably hasn't talked about. I'm also on good terms with my own mom, whom I talk to more often.

I called pretty frequently when I was on maternity leave. Now DH does weekend Skype calls with her and I pop on for at least half the call if I'm home and awake. I plan on calling her at least once a week when on my next maternity leave.

She's like more frequent communication. I'm not sure how to fit more in - I talk to her more than I talk to my own parents, but we both try to adjust our expectations and behavior to meet somewhere in the middle.

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! She calls my husband. I've maybe spoken to her a handful of times during those calls. She has never called me individually nor I have called her. We do email, though, but my husband will pretty much always be copied on the email.

PP Here - I actually have a decent/happy relationship with her. But having an individual relationship with her is just something that doesn't need to happen. She will always be my husband's mother and my children's grandmother...nothing more.

no but she guilts me about it.

Oh no! She calls my husband. I've maybe spoken to her a handful of times during those calls. She has never called me individually nor I have called her. We do email, though, but my husband will pretty much always be copied on the email.

Hell no.

MIL calls DH at least once a week. Sometimes I chime in via speakerphone. For awhile I was trying to make an effort to call her occasionally, but talking to her on the phone is really difficult for me - basically she spends 30 minutes talking about herself, asks maybe 1-2 questions about DH (usually never questions about me) and allows me about 2 minutes to describe, then says she has to go and ends the convo. So I don't really feel like our conversations are meaningful. However she does talk to her other daughter in law quite a bit via phone.

Just wondering if my situation is out of the norm? Should I make more of an effort? I always imagined being close with my future in-laws but that is just not turning out to be the case at all. I talk to DH's aunt and grandparents much more frequently which I find odd.