Anonymous wrote:What you are having OP is called passive suicidal ideation. About 10% of the population has passive suicidal ideation. Sometimes it is part of your coping - having this mental escape route - that you could (not that you would) kill yourself to end how you feel if you wanted to. Passive suicidal ideation is thoughts of death or wishing you were dead or thinking of how you might die - with NO intent to actually act on it.
If you have any thought of acting on it - you actually make a plan, you start thinking in detail about what you would do, you set a time or a day, you start to make decisions based on your suicidal ideation, you no longer focus on reasons to live....that is active suicidial ideation and you need to get help immediately. That is an emergency.
Passive suicidal ideation is a good indication that your current coping strategies aren't working and that you need more help with the depression and anxiety. Some people know for sure that they will never kill themselves and that the passive ideation is just part of their coping and how they feel and they don't seek help because they know they can manage those feelings. Some people live for years with passive suicidal ideation. It is always good to talk to someone about it, in the context of how your mental health is worsening. Mental health professionals are very very used to hearing about passive suicidal ideation and how it is intertwined with your mental health.
Anonymous wrote:Just wondering what type of symptomatic thinking should be considered... clinical (?) enough to be reported to the physician.
I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for the most part of my life. Right now I am several weeks postpartum, which have exacerbated my anxiety. On the one hand, I have been thinking about how nice it would be not to be alive anymore. On the other hand, I know for a fact I would never attempt a suicide. First of all, I am too much of a chicken shit, or my survival instinct has too firm of a grip on me. Second, I would never think of leaving my infant without a mother. Finally, I would never do something so devastating to my husband and parents.
Now, the question is: Am I having suicidal thoughts? I don't want to DO anything. I just catch myself wishing I would not wake up in the morning. I am on medication. (It may need adjustment and soon; I am looking into that.)