Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talk with my seven year old son about "vulnerable" people. Very young children, people who can't effectively stand up for themselves... We talk about how it is our responsibility to protect people where we can, and to treat every person with dignity and kindness.

We also give specific strategies and scenarios not only to protect ourselves from bullying, but also how to protect others. I was bullied in school, and my brother with special needs was bullied so badly that it deeply affected his self esteem. I remember watching a friend being bullied and just standing there because I had no strategies and little courage to help. It's a shame that follows me to this day.

Such strategies should be incorporated into the curriculum to mold good citizens for our society.

Often, school staff including the Administration does not record complaints of bullying and has a Don't Ask/Don't Tell approach to bullying. In MCPS - it takes filling out a formal "Bullying and Harassment Complaint Form" before staff get involved and actually investigate what is going on. Do they tell kids that this is how to resolve issues? No. Do they even tell parents? No.

This ostrich with its head in the sand approach by schools only causes incidences to escalate and extreme cumulative harm is done to the victim, the bystanders, and also the bully. There can be no true justice for the victim because what done has been done and the girls involved in the case will pay a life long price for their actions. Loose-loose all around.

This is a worse case scenario. I teach in a middle school in which staff are likely to be the ones alerting parents to bullying, not the other way around. Our admin is not going to tolerate a staff member who tolerates bullying. We do have an anonymous reporting system to allow students to clue staff in about things (including cyber-bullying) that we might miss.

Anonymous wrote:I talk with my seven year old son about "vulnerable" people. Very young children, people who can't effectively stand up for themselves... We talk about how it is our responsibility to protect people where we can, and to treat every person with dignity and kindness.

We also give specific strategies and scenarios not only to protect ourselves from bullying, but also how to protect others. I was bullied in school, and my brother with special needs was bullied so badly that it deeply affected his self esteem. I remember watching a friend being bullied and just standing there because I had no strategies and little courage to help. It's a shame that follows me to this day.

Such strategies should be incorporated into the curriculum to mold good citizens for our society.

Often, school staff including the Administration does not record complaints of bullying and has a Don't Ask/Don't Tell approach to bullying. In MCPS - it takes filling out a formal "Bullying and Harassment Complaint Form" before staff get involved and actually investigate what is going on. Do they tell kids that this is how to resolve issues? No. Do they even tell parents? No.

This ostrich with its head in the sand approach by schools only causes incidences to escalate and extreme cumulative harm is done to the victim, the bystanders, and also the bully. There can be no true justice for the victim because what done has been done and the girls involved in the case will pay a life long price for their actions. Loose-loose all around.

I talk with my seven year old son about "vulnerable" people. Very young children, people who can't effectively stand up for themselves... We talk about how it is our responsibility to protect people where we can, and to treat every person with dignity and kindness.

We also give specific strategies and scenarios not only to protect ourselves from bullying, but also how to protect others. I was bullied in school, and my brother with special needs was bullied so badly that it deeply affected his self esteem. I remember watching a friend being bullied and just standing there because I had no strategies and little courage to help. It's a shame that follows me to this day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of this case, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger

Different age and circumstances, but some children are more vulnerable.

Not at all the same. Its like worrying that something like what happened to Elizabeth Smart will happen to your child. Bad things happen, but some things are not preventable.

Also, those boys tortured the poor little boy, then murdered him. These girls behaved very badly and made the boy do dangerous things, but did not try to kill him.

I agree the two stories are not similar aside from they were both horrendous ... But urging a kid to walk on thin ice and not help him when he falls through could easily have ended up as murder. He was lucky.

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of this case, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger

Different age and circumstances, but some children are more vulnerable.

Not at all the same. Its like worrying that something like what happened to Elizabeth Smart will happen to your child. Bad things happen, but some things are not preventable.

Also, those boys tortured the poor little boy, then murdered him. These girls behaved very badly and made the boy do dangerous things, but did not try to kill him.

Reminds me of this case, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger

Different age and circumstances, but some children are more vulnerable.

For children who are so vulnerable like the boy in the abuse case, they continue to be at risk into adulthood. For the long term, your child will need protective supports in place for his or hers entire life. I would suggest reaching out and forming connections now with parent support groups and public and private assistant agencies. The Jewish Social Services Agency(in Rockville off of Montrose Road) is an outstanding support network that services the whole community, not just Jewish families. They can help navigate the system for people with disabilities and offer job training, counselors, and housing placement services that might be hard to get through public assistant programs. They also help to you to navigate the public system to get what support you can.

This case just painfully reminds us parents that for all our efforts to help our ASD kids, at some point they will have to go out into the world and cope with deranged people who will take pleasure in causing harm to others. Our kids, no matter how hard we try, are basically sitting ducks. Sorry to be so negative, but I am just truly distressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I missed that news. What happened?

A boy with ASD was sexually abused and almost drowned due to requests of two NT girls he believed were his gf and friend. One of the them has been charged as a adult. He still considers them his friends.

Thank you. Could someone please post a link? Am interested in all available details.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I missed that news. What happened?

A boy with ASD was sexually abused and almost drowned due to requests of two NT girls he believed were his gf and friend. One of the them has been charged as a adult. He still considers them his friends.

Yes, horrifying!
I mentioned it on a thread a few days ago.

I wonder if any social skills groups are addressing this.

I don't have a child on the spectrum, but I teach many kids with ASD. Most of them don't have more than one IRL friend and I can understand the eagerness of a parent to foster what seems like a close relationship with a NT peer.

As a teacher,I am hypervigilant about bullying of ANY student, but a lot of the bullying is now online and thus outside the classroom. For the child with ASD who may be more comfortable socializing online than in person, there's a vulnerability to verbal abuse or coercion into doing inappropriate things.

I'm sorry, I missed that news. What happened?

I know.

I'm sure this was already discussed long ago, but I am referring to those two MD girls who abused the boy in so many ways, including persuading him to walk out on thin ice. My son could so easily be manipulated in just the same way and would no doubt defend the girls as his friends ... Just keeps me up at night worrying. So sad that human beings can be so heartless to one another ... Sigh.