FruminousBandersnatch wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I mean we are not assholes if that is what you are saying. We treat other people as we wish to be treated. By undercover I mean that I put up lights on Christmas to decorate with the rest of the neighborhood, and give communion and confirmation gifts when we are invited to their parties. Maybe that does make us assholes?

No, that makes you normal and good neighbors/friends.

I'm an atheist, and we put up Christmas lights and a tree and have a wonderful holiday.

When a friend's son went through his bar mitzvah, I went to the ceremony, went to the lunch and gave a present. Objecting and saying, "I don't believe in your god and your traditions," would've made me an asshole.

Giving communion/confirmation gifts is celebrating something special in your friends/neighbors' lives. Standing up and saying, "I'm not going to participate because I don't believe in your god," would make you an asshole.

Live your life according to the Golden Rule - whether you believe in a deity or not.

There's no need for you to go out of your way to proclaim your atheism. You don't have to be militant and you don't have to "convert" the believers, but there's no reason for you to shy away from it if the topic comes up (it hardly ever does for me).

Well said. I'm a very religious person and I would be happy to be your neighbor and friend rather than someone of another faith trying to convert me.

I'm an atheist and I do find it's like "coming out" when I tell people. I'm often reticent to, even though I think it's important for us to be known. I heard someone liken being atheist to being gay a decade ago. I don't think atheists have to deal with anywhere near the amount of stuff gays do, but I could kind of see their point. It's hard sometimes. I am proud that I'm an atheist, but feel like I can't be proud in public or people will hate me, judge me, think I'm a bad person.

My DH and I are atheists and it's really never come up with our neighbors. If it does, we just say "we're not religious."

As an American, I very much enjoy the secular celebrations of Christmas and Easter. Hanging lights and participating in egg hunts certainly do not make you an "asshole"! Nor does kindly recognizing milestones in others' lives -- after all, I would give gifts to my friends' children when we are invited to a religious observance even if the friend knows for a fact we aren't jewish, christian, buddhist (DH is Asian, we get invited to a lot of 100-day ceremonies for babies and even death anniversaries for elders). It's just part of recognizing our plurality and diversity.

If I am asked -- which I have been a few times -- if I am atheist, I always just simply answer yes. But I don't think broadcasting what you do or don't believe is appropriate for anyone (heck, I hated that part of being christian when I was growing up and attended church). But honesty is the best policy and your neighbors will still like you if they find out that you are atheists. They would be hard-pressed to be good practicing Catholics or Protestants if they didn't!

Anonymous wrote:I guess I mean we are not assholes if that is what you are saying. We treat other people as we wish to be treated. By undercover I mean that I put up lights on Christmas to decorate with the rest of the neighborhood, and give communion and confirmation gifts when we are invited to their parties. Maybe that does make us assholes?

No, that makes you normal and good neighbors/friends.

I'm an atheist, and we put up Christmas lights and a tree and have a wonderful holiday.

When a friend's son went through his bar mitzvah, I went to the ceremony, went to the lunch and gave a present. Objecting and saying, "I don't believe in your god and your traditions," would've made me an asshole.

Giving communion/confirmation gifts is celebrating something special in your friends/neighbors' lives. Standing up and saying, "I'm not going to participate because I don't believe in your god," would make you an asshole.

Live your life according to the Golden Rule - whether you believe in a deity or not.

There's no need for you to go out of your way to proclaim your atheism. You don't have to be militant and you don't have to "convert" the believers, but there's no reason for you to shy away from it if the topic comes up (it hardly ever does for me).

I guess I mean we are not assholes if that is what you are saying. We treat other people as we wish to be treated. By undercover I mean that I put up lights on Christmas to decorate with the rest of the neighborhood, and give communion and confirmation gifts when we are invited to their parties. Maybe that does make us assholes?

When you say undercover do you mean not an ahole?

OP here. I think you are right about being honest and about representing the non believing community honestly, but it usually just opens up a can of worms for me.

We are not militant, we just don't buy it. However to us, it's immoral to indoctrinate children into religion, and the first communion dresses just horrify me, but I still give a card with $ when we are invited, and skip the service.

It always makes me feel bad to do so, but I do like my neighbors.

I think you would be surprised how many Catholics feel they are agnostic or atheist depending on where they are in life. Many people of all faiths or without faith have different ideas at different times in life. We all wonder about life and loss.

I think it's important to be honest. So many people have misconceptions about atheists, that I think it's important for people to see that we're not these amoral, unethical monsters that some people make us out to be.

A recent Pew poll found that more Americans would rather have a philandering, cheating president, than an atheist one. It's unsurprising, but so sad to me, that someone would rather have a leader that walks all over the trust and respect of their loved ones, than someone who just doesn't believe in a god. Just insane.

http://www.people-press.org/2014/05/19/for-2016-hopefuls-washington-experience-could-do-more-harm-than-good/

You don't need to get in debates or arguments with your Catholic neighbors, but you should answer truthfully. I trust that your Catholic neighbors would rather you be honest, than lie? At least I'd hope that's what they'd like. Just be a good neighbor, and be yourself.

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.”


? Neil deGrasse Tyson

My friends are undercover non-denominational Christians in a predominantly Jewish area.

Where do you live? I feel like where we live almost no one goes to church.

I don't really live undercover, but I just let people assume what they want and don't dispel the idea that we are believers. It's nobody's business. I'm not a militant atheist -- if people find joy and comfort in their religion, good for them. It's not my job to dissuade them.

Funny, my H is an undercover Atheist. I am Catholic and our kids go to Catholic school.

It has never come up and has never been an issue.

We live in a really friendly neighborhood where most everyone is Catholic for some reason. My husband and I are atheists, but we have been very careful not to bring it up. The Catholics assume we are Protestant, and the few Protestants assume we are Catholic. We do nothing to disabuse them of these notions.

Is anyone else living undercover?