Anonymous wrote:Yes. Dealing with this issue as well. MIL took a series of falls recently and has lied about them. She doesn't have any savings and has a limited fixed income. No one seems to want to talk about making plans for her care except me. So I guess we are going to wait for a crisis which will likely eliminate an ALF and skip right to nursing home care. Employee Assistance Program is a great idea -- I think my husband has such a program through his work. Maybe he will talk to them if he won't talk to his mother or me.

Your only option is a nursing home. We had to really push Adult Protective Services to get involved and help. I had to do all the work as my husband wasn't ready to accept his mom was bad off and I ended up being her full time caregiver and had reached my limit. We got lucky and a nurse reached out to us and did some paperwork and recommended a nursing home who has been wonderful via medicaid. If she is injured, take her to the hospital. That is the easiest way to get into a nursing home. Otherwise, go to the county and apply for long term care/medicaid (you can get the paperwork done in advanced but you cannot get pre approval) and then ask the county to get a nurse to give you a level of care. Then take that to the nursing homes. We only found one decent nursing home that would take my MIL. It was a nightmare. EAP may give advice but they aren't going to give you the support you need. We only got a bit of help from APS. If she has no savings, ALF will not take her. There are some for lower income, but that is still several thousand a month. If you get her from a hospitalization, medicare will pay for a limited amount of days then it will transfer to medicaid.

Yes. Dealing with this issue as well. MIL took a series of falls recently and has lied about them. She doesn't have any savings and has a limited fixed income. No one seems to want to talk about making plans for her care except me. So I guess we are going to wait for a crisis which will likely eliminate an ALF and skip right to nursing home care. Employee Assistance Program is a great idea -- I think my husband has such a program through his work. Maybe he will talk to them if he won't talk to his mother or me.

We are in this situation too - I was shocked at how little assistance there is available to the elderly. You basically get some assistance through Medicaid when you have only 6 months worth of finances left.

We ended up having to go the ER route to get into an assisted living facilty, which then provides 20 days of care maximum (through Medicare) for rehabilitation - it's really messed up, who came up with these ridiculous rules? Doesn't anyone care about the elderly?

Hospice is covered through Medicare once it gets to that point and when provided through the home, the primary caregiver can get 5 days of rest at a time when possible (you have to check all the boxes - we haven't done this but I have heard it's available)

I mentioned this on another thread as well, but I have an Employee Assistance Program through work - I don't know if this is common. They have been incredibly helpful in explaining how things work and figure out solutions. They are currently saving my sanity.

Room and board runs $5k to $7k per month in the greater DC area. But you pay for all of your medical care, medications, activities, hygiene items, etc. What you get is basically your college dorm and meal plan with an upgraded Resident Assistant for your $5k to $7k.

Anonymous wrote:So what do normal people do? we will be facing this soon with ILs. They have some money now but are in mid-80s and spending it fast. It won't be long before my FIL needs more help.
We are willing to help a bit but cannot afford $8K/month, or anywhere close.

Put them on the medicaid waiver NOW and when the time comes if they have few assets you go through the regular medicaid program (or it is for Maryland). Usually most people go to a nursing home via a hospitalization so just know it is harder but doable from home. Its a very difficult process.

So what do normal people do? we will be facing this soon with ILs. They have some money now but are in mid-80s and spending it fast. It won't be long before my FIL needs more help.
We are willing to help a bit but cannot afford $8K/month, or anywhere close.

$250-$300/day.

$4,000/month in small town midwest for AL

Anonymous wrote:OP, may be a terminology issue, but I don't think Medicaid covers assisted living. They will cover a nursing home, but not assisted living. Really sad as some folks have to basically have a medical or psychological emergency to get into a nursing home - ends up costing more than if they could've been in assisted living.

There is something called the Medicaid waiver which does pay for assisted living. There is a five year wait louts so put someone on very early. We did nursing home as it was the only option but are on the waiver waitlist.

OP, may be a terminology issue, but I don't think Medicaid covers assisted living. They will cover a nursing home, but not assisted living. Really sad as some folks have to basically have a medical or psychological emergency to get into a nursing home - ends up costing more than if they could've been in assisted living.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about 5 years away from probably having to move my MIL to an assisted living facility in the DC area and I'm trying to get a sense of what this will cost. Does anyone know what something like the sunrise facilities in DC cost - both as an ititial buy in and on a monthly basis?

Ballpark $5k-10k per month depending on services needed. Quite a bit can happen in 5 years, though.

This. If there is low or no income at least in Maryland, Medicaid will pay for it but its very difficult to do. We just moved my MIL here. Very few places take medicaid and most only take people out of the hospital. The county also claims to provide in-home care but we could not figure out how to do get it. To get assisted living, you have to get on the medicaid waiver, which is about a 5 year wait, so put your name on the list now. It took us about 8 months. We got on some wait lists about 5 months before bringing her here but was told she had to be an MD resident to get help. We brought her to live with us, established residency and then got her into a nursing home. It was not an easy process. If you private pay, there are lots more options.

Plus, if you go the Medicaid route many Homes that take Medicaid have separate Medicaid wings that are much less attractive and homey and higher patient loads.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about 5 years away from probably having to move my MIL to an assisted living facility in the DC area and I'm trying to get a sense of what this will cost. Does anyone know what something like the sunrise facilities in DC cost - both as an ititial buy in and on a monthly basis?

Ballpark $5k-10k per month depending on services needed. Quite a bit can happen in 5 years, though.

This. If there is low or no income at least in Maryland, Medicaid will pay for it but its very difficult to do. We just moved my MIL here. Very few places take medicaid and most only take people out of the hospital. The county also claims to provide in-home care but we could not figure out how to do get it. To get assisted living, you have to get on the medicaid waiver, which is about a 5 year wait, so put your name on the list now. It took us about 8 months. We got on some wait lists about 5 months before bringing her here but was told she had to be an MD resident to get help. We brought her to live with us, established residency and then got her into a nursing home. It was not an easy process. If you private pay, there are lots more options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are about 5 years away from probably having to move my MIL to an assisted living facility in the DC area and I'm trying to get a sense of what this will cost. Does anyone know what something like the sunrise facilities in DC cost - both as an ititial buy in and on a monthly basis?

Ballpark $5k-10k per month depending on services needed. Quite a bit can happen in 5 years, though.

I agree. We went through this with FIL. It's cheaper to hire a company to provide in-home care 24/7.

Anonymous wrote:We are about 5 years away from probably having to move my MIL to an assisted living facility in the DC area and I'm trying to get a sense of what this will cost. Does anyone know what something like the sunrise facilities in DC cost - both as an ititial buy in and on a monthly basis?

Ballpark $5k-10k per month depending on services needed. Quite a bit can happen in 5 years, though.

We are about 5 years away from probably having to move my MIL to an assisted living facility in the DC area and I'm trying to get a sense of what this will cost. Does anyone know what something like the sunrise facilities in DC cost - both as an ititial buy in and on a monthly basis?