Anonymous wrote:Big deal. You took the facts as you had them and made the best decision you could. In retrospect it was wrong but that is not the same thing as making a bad decision. It cost you some money which you appear to have. It was a year ago so whatever trade offs you made are already done. Seriously I wouldn't give it another thought.

OP again--yes. I agree 100%, which is why I realize that I need to move on, as per my initial post! The issue is I'm having trouble doing that and would love some tips.

Big deal. You took the facts as you had them and made the best decision you could. In retrospect it was wrong but that is not the same thing as making a bad decision. It cost you some money which you appear to have. It was a year ago so whatever trade offs you made are already done. Seriously I wouldn't give it another thought.

The problem is we no longer have her old one, so if we sell this one, she won't have anything if she changes her mind. I think psychologically I hope she'll change her mind, which is my issue. It's just such a waste of a great talent. So I guess it's not just the money that bothers me...

OP again. We didn't pressure her into continuing-at the time she wanted to. Based on that, we decided to upgrade. So she didn't ask for it, no, but she was very happy about it. She doesn't have the personality where it could work to force her to continue, so we won't do that. I've thought about selling it but I think maybe we should keep it in case she changes her mind.

Another vote for selling the instrument. If she wants to keep playing it more casually, just make sure to keep it in good condition to sell later. The money probably isn't all lost, it's just tied up in the instrument.

Why don't you sell it?

Anonymous wrote:OP here-LOL. I think I wasn't clear-I'm not still thinking about it a year later; I took the action a year ago but just recently realized I'd been wrong. So I've only been ruminating for a couple of weeks.

The mistake is that DD is a very talented musician (think all-state, contest-winning, jaw-dropping good). So we upgraded and purchased an expensive instrument thinking it would be for the long term, and now she's decided that she no longer wants to continue.

WOW. If this were me, I'd make her. Actually, did SHE want the new, upgraded instrument and was she at the time interested in continuing with the music? If so, I would either 1.) make her stick with it, or 2.) have her pay off the cost of the instrument.

If YOU pressured her into it when she didn't really want to then I think you should sell the instrument and then just suck up the loss. It's too bad that she doesn't want to continue, especially if she's that good!

You shouldn't feel bad... She should and she will and it will benefit her in the long run. I still think about and feel bad about dropping an instrument. I wish my parents had pushed me for one more year at least. I had talent. My teacher died and I gave up instead of looking or a new teacher.

OP again-the judgment error is that DD can be fickle, which we know, so I should have realized that there might not be a long term.

OP here-LOL. I think I wasn't clear-I'm not still thinking about it a year later; I took the action a year ago but just recently realized I'd been wrong. So I've only been ruminating for a couple of weeks.

The mistake is that DD is a very talented musician (think all-state, contest-winning, jaw-dropping good). So we upgraded and purchased an expensive instrument thinking it would be for the long term, and now she's decided that she no longer wants to continue.

Anonymous wrote:Op you gotta give us the mistake in order to receive dcum absolution

+1

Op you gotta give us the mistake in order to receive dcum absolution

What was it related to? PLastic Surgery? A boat? time share?

Botched plastic surgery? Kid got kicked out of camp? Gave money to an addict? ER visit when nothing was wrong? The advice you get is going to differ based on the kind of mistake it was. If it's just a parting of money that isn't going to hurt you financially, you wouldn't still be thinking about it a year later.

I made judgment error about a year ago-seemed like a good idea at the time but I was wrong. Not a financial misjudgment, a different kind, but it cost us about 2.5% of a year's HHI. We can absorb the loss without it ruining us or anything, but I keep thinking about it and blaming myself. I realize I should just get over it and move on, so does anyone have any good ideas how?