Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

This is so profound and true. In my friend's case, my knee-jerk reaction was that she should've saved for college, but after a few minutes of thought I came to the same conclusion you did. Her children are very, very bright, creative, wonderful children with intellect that surpasses their years. I couldn't help but conclude that was a result of all she'd given and exposed them to over the years. She cried to her mother with the same guilt and her mother told her the same thing: What she'd done was worth it even if it meant her children going to community college for two years. I asked her daughter if she would've preferred that her mother saved for college. She took a beat or two then said, "Nah. I prefer the life I was given."

Then the merit aid and grant from the school came about in addition to other outside scholarships her daughter scored. I think she'll be paying less than $5,000 for her child to attend a really good flagship U.

Oh please. Like those children couldn't have been bright and creative if they went to public school. How ridiculous.

They did go to private school.

I mean they went to PUBLIC school.

Sorry!

Nope. Article says homeschooled and then private school. SHe's patting herself on the back for that decision.

Anonymous wrote:The weirdest part of this story by far is the dozen hard-boiled eggs. It's like a Coen brothers movie...I can just picture this kid sitting in a tent with his one clean pair of pants, dejectedly eating a hard-boiled egg after being turned away from the admissions office...

Lol! I found the dozen eggs weird too. Okay and the tent as well. I mean I've never heard of such for college visits.

Anonymous wrote:It is a ridiculous article. They have 6, yes SIX, kids and make under 50,000 dollars a year. There is no way they could save for college anyway with so many kids. Their kids will get financial aid and they probably pay no federal taxes. The author has a 4 year degree that her grandparents paid for so she got to enjoy college while her kids will do work study and may have loans.

Recent college graduate here - my parents make about $60k a year and while I did get a good amount of aid in my freshman year, that dried up quickly and by the time I graduated I was receiving $0 in grants and the only "aid" I got was offered loans and federal work-study. This is all determined by FAFSA so it wouldn't have made a difference what school I attended.

Second, I now make $51k/year and I can guarantee you that I pay plenty of federal taxes.

You really have no idea what you're talking about.

The weirdest part of this story by far is the dozen hard-boiled eggs. It's like a Coen brothers movie...I can just picture this kid sitting in a tent with his one clean pair of pants, dejectedly eating a hard-boiled egg after being turned away from the admissions office...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

Sure, but isn't there a happy medium somewhere? It would be grossly irresponsible for any parent to spend all of their money on trips and activities with no thought to the future or a rainy day. My kids get their fair share of lessons and activities, and we travel occasionally to non-exotic locations like Rehoboth or Deep Creek Lake, but we also put some (probably not enough) away for college. We also try to focus on the things that cost little or no money-- basically just spending time together as a family and having fun without thinking about work, cell phones, chores, etc. We are also trying to do more community service with the kids. DH and I are lucky to have flexible work schedules that allow us to do these things. My kids aren't going on safari but I am confident they are missing NOTHING.

They probably aren't missing anything. I didn't travel internationally as a child and a safari? Ha! But I recall my carefree childhood playing outdoors for hours, riding my bike, etc fondly.

However, that's why it's called ENRICHMENT. Their childhoods were made richer by the experiences that neither me or my DC had.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

This is so profound and true. In my friend's case, my knee-jerk reaction was that she should've saved for college, but after a few minutes of thought I came to the same conclusion you did. Her children are very, very bright, creative, wonderful children with intellect that surpasses their years. I couldn't help but conclude that was a result of all she'd given and exposed them to over the years. She cried to her mother with the same guilt and her mother told her the same thing: What she'd done was worth it even if it meant her children going to community college for two years. I asked her daughter if she would've preferred that her mother saved for college. She took a beat or two then said, "Nah. I prefer the life I was given."

Then the merit aid and grant from the school came about in addition to other outside scholarships her daughter scored. I think she'll be paying less than $5,000 for her child to attend a really good flagship U.

Oh please. Like those children couldn't have been bright and creative if they went to public school. How ridiculous.

They did go to private school.

I mean they went to PUBLIC school.

Sorry!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

This is so profound and true. In my friend's case, my knee-jerk reaction was that she should've saved for college, but after a few minutes of thought I came to the same conclusion you did. Her children are very, very bright, creative, wonderful children with intellect that surpasses their years. I couldn't help but conclude that was a result of all she'd given and exposed them to over the years. She cried to her mother with the same guilt and her mother told her the same thing: What she'd done was worth it even if it meant her children going to community college for two years. I asked her daughter if she would've preferred that her mother saved for college. She took a beat or two then said, "Nah. I prefer the life I was given."

Then the merit aid and grant from the school came about in addition to other outside scholarships her daughter scored. I think she'll be paying less than $5,000 for her child to attend a really good flagship U.

Oh please. Like those children couldn't have been bright and creative if they went to public school. How ridiculous.

They did go to private school.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

Sure, but isn't there a happy medium somewhere? It would be grossly irresponsible for any parent to spend all of their money on trips and activities with no thought to the future or a rainy day. My kids get their fair share of lessons and activities, and we travel occasionally to non-exotic locations like Rehoboth or Deep Creek Lake, but we also put some (probably not enough) away for college. We also try to focus on the things that cost little or no money-- basically just spending time together as a family and having fun without thinking about work, cell phones, chores, etc. We are also trying to do more community service with the kids. DH and I are lucky to have flexible work schedules that allow us to do these things. My kids aren't going on safari but I am confident they are missing NOTHING.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

This is so profound and true. In my friend's case, my knee-jerk reaction was that she should've saved for college, but after a few minutes of thought I came to the same conclusion you did. Her children are very, very bright, creative, wonderful children with intellect that surpasses their years. I couldn't help but conclude that was a result of all she'd given and exposed them to over the years. She cried to her mother with the same guilt and her mother told her the same thing: What she'd done was worth it even if it meant her children going to community college for two years. I asked her daughter if she would've preferred that her mother saved for college. She took a beat or two then said, "Nah. I prefer the life I was given."

Then the merit aid and grant from the school came about in addition to other outside scholarships her daughter scored. I think she'll be paying less than $5,000 for her child to attend a really good flagship U.

Oh please. Like those children couldn't have been bright and creative if they went to public school. How ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:It is a ridiculous article. They have 6, yes SIX, kids and make under 50,000 dollars a year. There is no way they could save for college anyway with so many kids. Their kids will get financial aid and they probably pay no federal taxes. The author has a 4 year degree that her grandparents paid for so she got to enjoy college while her kids will do work study and may have loans.

Yeah, it's too bad her parents couldn't step in to save money for her children to go to college.

But you do make a good point. Truth is, she and her husband could've never saved enough to send even one child to college for 4 years if they'd scrimped and saved every cent from the time the child was born. College is just so costly these days that the most many of us will be able to do is save enough to put a tiny dent in one semester of college.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

This is so profound and true. In my friend's case, my knee-jerk reaction was that she should've saved for college, but after a few minutes of thought I came to the same conclusion you did. Her children are very, very bright, creative, wonderful children with intellect that surpasses their years. I couldn't help but conclude that was a result of all she'd given and exposed them to over the years. She cried to her mother with the same guilt and her mother told her the same thing: What she'd done was worth it even if it meant her children going to community college for two years. I asked her daughter if she would've preferred that her mother saved for college. She took a beat or two then said, "Nah. I prefer the life I was given."

Then the merit aid and grant from the school came about in addition to other outside scholarships her daughter scored. I think she'll be paying less than $5,000 for her child to attend a really good flagship U.

It is a ridiculous article. They have 6, yes SIX, kids and make under 50,000 dollars a year. There is no way they could save for college anyway with so many kids. Their kids will get financial aid and they probably pay no federal taxes. The author has a 4 year degree that her grandparents paid for so she got to enjoy college while her kids will do work study and may have loans.

Nothing you do as an adult can make up for experiences you missed as a child. Children experience things from a different perspective than young adults, mid aged adults, senior citizens. Those who live for the moment have fewer regrets than those who put off life experiences.

OP here.

Just wanted to add that the title of this story caused me to pause because I'd recently had several conversations with a guilt-ridden, nearly distraught good friend from HS who did the same thing as this author.

She'd received close to $200,000 after her mother died when her DD was just 5 or 6. Instead of putting a chunk of it into the child's college savings account she had started, she paid for dance lessons, music lessons, band trips, exotic vacations (think Africa because her DS wanted to go on safari) and later on tutors, SAT prep, a car for DD, etc. She reasoned that Grandma wanted the kids to have all those things and before she died, she was funding the extras, was planning to continue to fund them as they got older, etc. So my friend decided she was simply doing what her mother would've wanted her to do.

FAST FORWARD to College Craziness of 2014.

Her DD was excited to be accepted early on to her 1st choice university---until they received the financial aid award that offered her nothing except the max in federal loans and workstudy. There was no way my friend could fill in the $30,000 gap. That's when the guilt set in and she called me in near tears about it. DD had also been accepted at another flagship U that offered a very generous grant that made it affordable, but she wondered aloud if she'd done the wrong thing by spending so much investing in her children instead of socking at least $50,000 away.

FAST FORWARD to the rest of the acceptances coming in.

DD had applied to a few reach schools that met full need but was rejected. However, this B- student was able to pull in tons of merit money from other schools where she was a better match academically.

In the end, Dear Friend has no guilt. In fact she's thrilled and in retrospect believes she did it the right way. I'm just glad it worked out for her and strongly suspect it will work out for the author's child too.

This is the article about a family whose oldest child is preparing to head off to college. However, they did not save a dime for his education. Instead they spent their money providing an enriching life for him through private school, music lessons, tutors, etc.

Very interesting article and, of course, many of the comments are scathing.

It begins:

This spring break, I sent my 17-year-old-son and his dad off on a three-state college tour with a dozen hard-boiled eggs, a rolled-up tent and tears.

I turned away when Judah sat on my bed to say goodbye. Our oldest son is nearly 6 feet tall, and all I could think of was the ache I had felt holding him one dark winter night soon after he was born and realized that someday he would grow up and leave.

Now, that day was nearly here. Judah has worked his way to summer camp and stayed with family, but visiting colleges was his first real foray into manhood. I couldn’t believe the best I had to give him was leftover Easter eggs and the hope of finding an open campground.

“It’s pathetic,” I said, wiping away tears. “It’s pathetic that we are sending you to look at $40,000-a-year colleges with a dozen eggs, one pair of good pants and a tent.”

Read the rest of the article here:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/04/29/instead-of-saving-for-college-we-invested-in-our-kids/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0